tritanium
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2025
- Posts
- 76
- Reputation
- 41
You read the title correctly. My crush got ran through by a train of 3 guys at a party.
I like to journal a lot so I thought I would journal a bit on here for the first time.
I am a senior in high school and I find it hard to develop emotions or 'crushs' for girls, I am a pretty reserved/conservative guy, I don't just like a girl because she has a pair, no foids allowed! I have high standards etc. Also, most the girls at my school aren't that attractive and the ones that are, are either sluts or have a boyfriend. Yes, I have asked a few out but I either get rejected or love bombed after a date or two.
Just note I am a ltn at best. I am all body, no face. Just a boneless gymcel.
Now this one girl, I never paid attention to. She was in a few of my classes in junior year and now senior. She's very smart, smarter than me. She is in the academic classes I am in. She used to always give me attention and be so curious to ask what was going on in my conversations, always showed an interest in me. I never really cared and it was a joke with my mates that she liked me because she had cystic acne and sounded like a bit like a parrot at the time, she had that squawk in her voice. In outdoor ed, not trying to be disrespectful, I found out she had an incredible body, small waist, toned, nice chest, but still I never really paid attention to her. Come back from summer break, her acne has cleared up lots, she looks good. But I still had my past image of her on my mind - her squawky voice.
She hosted a party at her house after prom, she was responsible, her family was nice, dad was cool, the party was responsible. Me being a reserved guy, I started thinking about her more often as I thought, "wow she is a responsible, smart girl from a good family."
On outdoor ed camp, she would follow me around everywhere, stand next to me in her bikini for everything I did, constantly cracking jokes. Reflecting back now, she looked beautiful. I would ask her why she wasn't with her friends, she said she preferred to be next to me. Her friends would occasionally take photos of me and call me cute. All of this! but I didn't realise she was being flirty. Now she comes back from winter break, she's more beautiful than ever, she had a huge glow up. I now have a crush on her. I am determined, I like her more but I am mad for not going for her earlier when she was right there in front of me on camp. The nice girl, now beautiful than ever. But since I am high inhibition with girls, so I never asked her out.
Then recently, I see her constantly posting her incredible body on her new ig account, the frustration increases for my missed opportunity.
More things about her I start to hear. A few days ago my friend told me she has been going out with all the dudes on the footy team.
Then last night, I found out from another mate that at a party she went to a back of a van with 3 dudes and got railed by all 3 of them.
Just disgusting man. I understand she has the male gaze for her physique but that's just messed up.
I am upset, I just don't understand. How could my idea of the responsible, comes from a good family, smart girl become a whore. Why crush me. I liked her. Now my image of her is forever ruined.
I like to journal a lot so I thought I would journal a bit on here for the first time.
I am a senior in high school and I find it hard to develop emotions or 'crushs' for girls, I am a pretty reserved/conservative guy, I don't just like a girl because she has a pair, no foids allowed! I have high standards etc. Also, most the girls at my school aren't that attractive and the ones that are, are either sluts or have a boyfriend. Yes, I have asked a few out but I either get rejected or love bombed after a date or two.
Just note I am a ltn at best. I am all body, no face. Just a boneless gymcel.
Now this one girl, I never paid attention to. She was in a few of my classes in junior year and now senior. She's very smart, smarter than me. She is in the academic classes I am in. She used to always give me attention and be so curious to ask what was going on in my conversations, always showed an interest in me. I never really cared and it was a joke with my mates that she liked me because she had cystic acne and sounded like a bit like a parrot at the time, she had that squawk in her voice. In outdoor ed, not trying to be disrespectful, I found out she had an incredible body, small waist, toned, nice chest, but still I never really paid attention to her. Come back from summer break, her acne has cleared up lots, she looks good. But I still had my past image of her on my mind - her squawky voice.
She hosted a party at her house after prom, she was responsible, her family was nice, dad was cool, the party was responsible. Me being a reserved guy, I started thinking about her more often as I thought, "wow she is a responsible, smart girl from a good family."
On outdoor ed camp, she would follow me around everywhere, stand next to me in her bikini for everything I did, constantly cracking jokes. Reflecting back now, she looked beautiful. I would ask her why she wasn't with her friends, she said she preferred to be next to me. Her friends would occasionally take photos of me and call me cute. All of this! but I didn't realise she was being flirty. Now she comes back from winter break, she's more beautiful than ever, she had a huge glow up. I now have a crush on her. I am determined, I like her more but I am mad for not going for her earlier when she was right there in front of me on camp. The nice girl, now beautiful than ever. But since I am high inhibition with girls, so I never asked her out.
Then recently, I see her constantly posting her incredible body on her new ig account, the frustration increases for my missed opportunity.
More things about her I start to hear. A few days ago my friend told me she has been going out with all the dudes on the footy team.
Then last night, I found out from another mate that at a party she went to a back of a van with 3 dudes and got railed by all 3 of them.
Just disgusting man. I understand she has the male gaze for her physique but that's just messed up.
I am upset, I just don't understand. How could my idea of the responsible, comes from a good family, smart girl become a whore. Why crush me. I liked her. Now my image of her is forever ruined.
