johnypvpgod
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- Oct 23, 2024
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I (22F) met a guy (23M) in a college few months ago, we go to the same class, He is cute, funny and really intelligent, We exchanged our socials and started talking almost daily, we have been pretty good friends so far. after sometime i developed a crush on him but i didn't want to make a move cuz i'm not used to it. Suddenly, i've noticed some strange things about him. He follows some facebook and instagram meme pages featuring attractive male models, i didn't give it much thoughts at first until i've noticed that he sometimes makes comments saying that only looks matter and personality means nothing, talking about "the blackpill" (which i really didn't know about until i googled it and found out that it's an incel ideology).
I was hesitant to talk about it with him at first but i just said fk it i will tell him. Long story short we've had a long discussion about the whole thing. I was shocked to discover that he is an incel with some toxic views about women, talking about genetic determinism. Ranting that there are some men who are doomed when it comes to romantic relationship and there is nothing they can do about it.
He also kept saying that i wouldn't understand and that the blackpill helped him a lot. That now his interactions with people and women in particular was better and positive. He said that when he was naive, he was always worried that women saw him as unattractive or weird but now he is not worried about those things anymore because he knows that it's all about looks anyway and not about who he was or what he says. It was never meant to be from the beginning.
I felt sorry for him ngl especially when he mentioned getting bullied and some harsh rejections he faced through his life. I told him that i thought he was cute when i saw him, he shrugged me off and said i'm only trying to cheer him up.
I asked him what he would do if a girl asked him out, he said he will think it's kind of a prank or a joke cuz it happened to him before. Then i asked him what if she truly likes you and is attracted to you. He basically said "i will probably think there might be something wrong with her and she is seeing something that isn't there. i would turn her down cuz i'm in a good place and at peace now".
I asked him why he keeps following these pages then, he said that it's just for fun or to kill any hope so he won't be crushed ever again.
I know that this guy is full of red flags and sound very miserable but i don't think he is a bad person. I just wanna know if there is any hope to pull him back from this rabbit hole ?
Edit : i can't believe the post blew up like this, i've got hundreds of DMs. Sorry if i can't respond to them all. I've read most of the comments and had great advices. Thank you all.
I've had another talk with my friend about his believes. He told me he isn't hateful and doesn't associate himself with "incels" and said that believing in the blackpill doesn't mean you are an incel. He also said that even some guys who are successful with women believe it. I've also asked him many questions and got some few answers.
I've told him that i want to put a bit of a distance between so cuz this the whole thing doesn't sit right with me, he said he respects my decision and that's it.
I will try to post an update as soon as i can.
I was hesitant to talk about it with him at first but i just said fk it i will tell him. Long story short we've had a long discussion about the whole thing. I was shocked to discover that he is an incel with some toxic views about women, talking about genetic determinism. Ranting that there are some men who are doomed when it comes to romantic relationship and there is nothing they can do about it.
He also kept saying that i wouldn't understand and that the blackpill helped him a lot. That now his interactions with people and women in particular was better and positive. He said that when he was naive, he was always worried that women saw him as unattractive or weird but now he is not worried about those things anymore because he knows that it's all about looks anyway and not about who he was or what he says. It was never meant to be from the beginning.
I felt sorry for him ngl especially when he mentioned getting bullied and some harsh rejections he faced through his life. I told him that i thought he was cute when i saw him, he shrugged me off and said i'm only trying to cheer him up.
I asked him what he would do if a girl asked him out, he said he will think it's kind of a prank or a joke cuz it happened to him before. Then i asked him what if she truly likes you and is attracted to you. He basically said "i will probably think there might be something wrong with her and she is seeing something that isn't there. i would turn her down cuz i'm in a good place and at peace now".
I asked him why he keeps following these pages then, he said that it's just for fun or to kill any hope so he won't be crushed ever again.
I know that this guy is full of red flags and sound very miserable but i don't think he is a bad person. I just wanna know if there is any hope to pull him back from this rabbit hole ?
Edit : i can't believe the post blew up like this, i've got hundreds of DMs. Sorry if i can't respond to them all. I've read most of the comments and had great advices. Thank you all.
I've had another talk with my friend about his believes. He told me he isn't hateful and doesn't associate himself with "incels" and said that believing in the blackpill doesn't mean you are an incel. He also said that even some guys who are successful with women believe it. I've also asked him many questions and got some few answers.
I've told him that i want to put a bit of a distance between so cuz this the whole thing doesn't sit right with me, he said he respects my decision and that's it.
I will try to post an update as soon as i can.
