Rabbi
Tel Aviv, Israel
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I've written about my experiences with dating before but I wanted to give some tips for anyone who is struggling.
This is inspired by one guy whom I met at a club. I was there with my girlfriend at the time and he came up to me and asked if she was my girl. I said yes and he grabbed my shoulder and said "bro, please teach me". I asked who at the club was the best looking in his opinion. He pointed out a girl and I told him to go for it. I said "be confident but never cocky". He shook his head but went up to the girl. Later I saw her sitting on his lap and bro had the widest grin I've ever seen. I could not make this up, it was magical.
Now to the actual tips.
1. You're not ugly. You might think you are, you might even objectively be but it doesn't matter. This is a fake it till you make it situation. You have to pretend to think that you're hot. This will give you confidence and confidence is seriously the most important step in all of this.
2. To help with number 1 and boost your chances in general, pay attention to hygiene and the way you dress. I'm a smart casual kinda guy and it works for me. I look nerdy with my glasses and I think being short makes me look even more nerdy. I lean into that. Find your style and wear it with confidence. I would encourage you to wear something other than a hoodie and jeans but it's ultimately up to you. Use deodorant, smelling good helps, trust.
3. Have a nice haircut. This can be anything that you deem nice-looking. It should look kept and clean. Some women like guys with long hair, most do not. Do with this info what you will.
4. Figure out what kind of girls are into you. THIS IS IMPORTANT! If you're not conventionally attractive (you're extremely short, overweight, have bad skin, bad facial features etc.) try to go for alternative girls. I'm talking about bi/pan girls, women with colored hair, alternative style, trans girls and so on. Most (not all) conventionally attractive cis straight girls are into conventionally attractive guys. This is just a fact of life. This doesn't mean you shouldn't shoot your shot (check out tip no. 5) but it means there's a bigger chance she's not into you.
5. Don't be scared of rejection. I've been rejected far more than I've been successful. It doesn't matter, I lose nothing by shooting my shot. If a girl turns you down it's not because of your height or looks. Sure it might be, but once again it simply does not matter. In your mind you must find another reason (she's already in a relationship, she's gay, she's not looking for anything right now). This way your self confidence will remain.
6. Treat women with respect. This should be a given but for some reason it is not. Women like it when you respect their bodily autonomy and treat them with respect. If she's not interested, leave her alone.
Notice how this list doesn't include "lift weights" or "be rich"? That's because I'm not fit nor rich and yet I have game. I'm not saying these things don't help but they're not mandatory. Also the fake confidence will turn into real one once you get your first success with a girl.
Tldr: be confident (fake it till you make it), don't be an asshole, be just the right amount of delusional.
I'm happy to answer any questions
Edit: a few clarifications. I do not claim that "alternative" women have lower standards. In my personal experience they just tend to focus on different things. They might put more weight on personality or common interests than looks. This is not true for all women in any way and once again just my experience.
Second point: trans women are women, being with them does not make you gay. If you are not into them that's completely fine but there is no use spreading hate in the comments. You do not have to sleep with trans girls if you don't want to. I can't believe I have to specify this.
This is inspired by one guy whom I met at a club. I was there with my girlfriend at the time and he came up to me and asked if she was my girl. I said yes and he grabbed my shoulder and said "bro, please teach me". I asked who at the club was the best looking in his opinion. He pointed out a girl and I told him to go for it. I said "be confident but never cocky". He shook his head but went up to the girl. Later I saw her sitting on his lap and bro had the widest grin I've ever seen. I could not make this up, it was magical.
Now to the actual tips.
1. You're not ugly. You might think you are, you might even objectively be but it doesn't matter. This is a fake it till you make it situation. You have to pretend to think that you're hot. This will give you confidence and confidence is seriously the most important step in all of this.
2. To help with number 1 and boost your chances in general, pay attention to hygiene and the way you dress. I'm a smart casual kinda guy and it works for me. I look nerdy with my glasses and I think being short makes me look even more nerdy. I lean into that. Find your style and wear it with confidence. I would encourage you to wear something other than a hoodie and jeans but it's ultimately up to you. Use deodorant, smelling good helps, trust.
3. Have a nice haircut. This can be anything that you deem nice-looking. It should look kept and clean. Some women like guys with long hair, most do not. Do with this info what you will.
4. Figure out what kind of girls are into you. THIS IS IMPORTANT! If you're not conventionally attractive (you're extremely short, overweight, have bad skin, bad facial features etc.) try to go for alternative girls. I'm talking about bi/pan girls, women with colored hair, alternative style, trans girls and so on. Most (not all) conventionally attractive cis straight girls are into conventionally attractive guys. This is just a fact of life. This doesn't mean you shouldn't shoot your shot (check out tip no. 5) but it means there's a bigger chance she's not into you.
5. Don't be scared of rejection. I've been rejected far more than I've been successful. It doesn't matter, I lose nothing by shooting my shot. If a girl turns you down it's not because of your height or looks. Sure it might be, but once again it simply does not matter. In your mind you must find another reason (she's already in a relationship, she's gay, she's not looking for anything right now). This way your self confidence will remain.
6. Treat women with respect. This should be a given but for some reason it is not. Women like it when you respect their bodily autonomy and treat them with respect. If she's not interested, leave her alone.
Notice how this list doesn't include "lift weights" or "be rich"? That's because I'm not fit nor rich and yet I have game. I'm not saying these things don't help but they're not mandatory. Also the fake confidence will turn into real one once you get your first success with a girl.
Tldr: be confident (fake it till you make it), don't be an asshole, be just the right amount of delusional.
I'm happy to answer any questions
Edit: a few clarifications. I do not claim that "alternative" women have lower standards. In my personal experience they just tend to focus on different things. They might put more weight on personality or common interests than looks. This is not true for all women in any way and once again just my experience.
Second point: trans women are women, being with them does not make you gay. If you are not into them that's completely fine but there is no use spreading hate in the comments. You do not have to sleep with trans girls if you don't want to. I can't believe I have to specify this.
