My (failed) experiences with escorts so far...

[Deleted member 7725]

First time was an accident. Went to get a massage when I was recovering from sports and got one with a Chinese bad ass milf. She pointed at my dick and asked if I wanted full body and I said just legs and back since I didn't hear her that well and answered too fast to think. I woulda fucked the shit outta her. She was acting all enthusiastic and wasn't totally disgusted by me so it would've been good ngl.

Second time I went back there to get some p and instead got some ugly ass old girl who was looking at me all disgusted and shit and didn't ask for nothing so just a normal massage.

Third time went on an escort site and found some baddie latina jawn and did the whole verification thing with fake ID and shit. Then last minute I got scared that the FBI was waiting for me and they had my picture and shit so pulled up to the hotel parking lot and just left.

Fourth time I was going to fuck a 40 year old trashy ass milf and was planning on just getting head and she didn't need any verification but then I did some research and got scared of catching some shit from her nasty ass mouth on some Breaking Bad shit so ghosted her.

Fifth time I went through verification for a 25 year old "professional" with her profile all decked out and shit. She was like a low tier becky no cap and I pulled up and she was acting all weirded out and shit and then straight up said she only services older guys over 35+ years old so she told me to leave. Shit's over when ever hookers reject you.

How tf do you guys even get ur dick wet in America? All girls are Chad/BBC only and escorts are all lowkey sting operations or crackhoes with the clap. In Russia you just got a 10/10 Stacy hooker who was happy to get dicked down and that was it, simple.

 

[HarrierDuBois]

 

[Bojack]

Dam i never had it that bad with escorts, only got scammed once. Use erotic monkey or some chit to find some good ones

 

[Deleted member 7725]

Dam i never had it that bad with escorts, only got scammed once. Use erotic monkey or some chit to find some good ones

How did they scam you?

 

[Bojack]

How did they scam you?

They do scam me, but it really was just one girl that was the real scam. I hopped in there and it was some 4/10 latina girl. She looked real young. I didn't say chit to her but usually the escort puts the condom on you, but she just handed it to me. I should be able to put it on no problem really by that point, but I had trouble getting it to fit n shit. I tried to pull the foreskin back but it was all loose n shit. Anyway she gets on top of me and starts trying to ride and the condom just falls off n shit. The bitch went hysterical on me and ran to the bathroom thinking i jizzed in her or some shit (I barely got it in for like 1 second). I didn't want her to jump my ass so i left her a 100 bucks and gtfo there. I tried to get more out of her, but she was like, "nahh. I'm just gonna let you touch no p in v." So I was a 100 dollars down with nothin to show.

But the other escorts I see are usually more professional and laid back. Besides the fact they won't let me "pop" more than once. Like I jizz once and they rush me out the door. It's not even the 30 mins/1hr they promised. Some ole boolchit at the end of the day.

 

[Deleted member 7725]

They do scam me, but it really was just one girl that was the real scam. I hopped in there and it was some 4/10 latina girl. She looked real young. I didn't say chit to her but usually the escort puts the condom on you, but she just handed it to me. I should be able to put it on no problem really by that point, but I had trouble getting it to fit n shit. I tried to pull the foreskin back but it was all loose n shit. Anyway she gets on top of me and starts trying to ride and the condom just falls off n shit. The bitch went hysterical on me and ran to the bathroom thinking i jizzed in her or some shit (I barely got it in for like 1 second). I didn't want her to jump my ass so i left her a 100 bucks and gtfo there. I tried to get more out of her, but she was like, "nahh. I'm just gonna let you touch no p in v." So I was a 100 dollars down with nothin to show.

But the other escorts I see are usually more professional and laid back. Besides the fact they won't let me "pop" more than once. Like I jizz once and they rush me out the door. It's not even the 30 mins/1hr they promised. Some ole boolchit at the end of the day.

word to. i bust in like 2 min and most hoes want an hour minimum payment. even if they take half hour it's like 10% cheaper.

 

[Bojack]

word to. i bust in like 2 min and most hoes want an hour minimum payment. even if they take half hour it's like 10% cheaper.

yea, my experience usually is this:
1) walk in
2) pay the 40 dollars door fee
3) guided into the room
4) meet the escort
5) drop 120 dollars n shit
6) do the sex
7) out the door

All of this is done within like 10-15 minutes or so. Not really what I expected. Idk how to force the girl to stay for 30 minutes tbh. Ehh fk it i guess

 

[Octavian_Augustus]

Knowing this user I feel this is another LARP post.

If this is true then use Private Delights or similar websites and pick escorts who are highly rated. But maybe not the ones who have 150+ reviews that's kinda gross maybe the ones with 20-50 5 star reviews and make sure you read a few to make sure they are legit. Always pick the ones that do not blur their faces out or use too much make-up or filters. Really important you get the ones who show their face no BS so you can make sure they are pretty. Also make sure you get a good look at her body as some of them can hide the fact they are fat pretty well. You might have to accept some of them won't look exactly the same way (might have gained weight after the pics)

Don't send deposits (most don't ask for them anyways and it's a red flag if they do)

If you actually spend time looking you can find staceys

 

[Deleted member 7725]

Knowing this user I feel this is another LARP post.

If this is true then use Private Delights or similar websites and pick escorts who are highly rated. But maybe not the ones who have 150+ reviews that's kinda gross maybe the ones with 20-50 5 star reviews and make sure you read a few to make sure they are legit. Always pick the ones that do not blur their faces out or use too much make-up or filters. Really important you get the ones who show their face no BS so you can make sure they are pretty. Also make sure you get a good look at her body as some of them can hide the fact they are fat pretty well. You might have to accept some of them won't look exactly the same way (might have gained weight after the pics)

Don't send deposits (most don't ask for them anyways and it's a red flag if they do)

If you actually spend time looking you can find staceys

You need to pay for reviews on most sites. i don't want an official escort tho that shit is just sad. i want to get a massage and then just get head or if she bad enough get some pussy afterwards.

 

[Deleted member 7725]

yea, my experience usually is this:
1) walk in
2) pay the 40 dollars door fee
3) guided into the room
4) meet the escort
5) drop 120 dollars n shit
6) do the sex
7) out the door

All of this is done within like 10-15 minutes or so. Not really what I expected. Idk how to force the girl to stay for 30 minutes tbh. Ehh fk it i guess

are you in America? I thought they don't have shit like this there.

 

[Bojack]

are you in America? I thought they don't have shit like this there.

Yes i do, southern california to be exact. And i live in a community with lots of latinos, so they tend to have these things around. There’s even a massage parlor around here, but i dont go in. I go to the same escort agency, office, building whatever you want to call it. You should come by some day, those girls do some wild chit

 

[Deleted member 7725]

Yes i do, southern california to be exact. And i live in a community with lots of latinos, so they tend to have these things around. There’s even a massage parlor around here, but i dont go in. I go to the same escort agency, office, building whatever you want to call it. You should come by some day, those girls do some wild chit

Escort agency in America? i thought shit was illegal there?

 

[Deleted member 23772]

escorts are a waste of time.

 

[Deleted member 7725]

escorts are a waste of time.

how? im not some bitch ass youngboy who want to get all lovey duvey. i just want to get my dick wet and bust a nut and leave.

 

[Deleted member 21628]

mentally ill


also.. id go with ebony escorts any day

 

[Deleted member 23772]

how? im not some bitch ass youngboy who want to get all lovey duvey. i just want to get my dick wet and bust a nut and leave.

You wont get no love from escorts. All the want is your money. Ever felt true love when a chick starts grabbing your back with her hands and kiss all over your face with love and passion?

 

[Deleted member 7725]

You wont get no love from escorts. All the want is your money. Ever felt true love when a chick starts grabbing your back with her hands and kiss all over your face with love and passion?

I drive cars worth more than mfers houses so these bitches always want something from me. i dont care about kissing or some shit im not 14 years old.

Bad ass bitch with a whole lot of ass, whole lot of cash, that's my type
All eyes on me, can't talk to the hoes, C-Grape go get her, he know what I like
I don't do trickin', might pay for the pussy though, let me know the price, it might be right
See her print all through her tights, her camel toe, it be toein' right

 

[Deleted member 16501]

Dn rd but how the fuck do you fail with escorts?

 

[Deleted member 7725]

Dn rd but how the fuck do you fail with escorts?

from being an ugly ass mf

 

[Deleted member 16501]

from being an ugly ass mf

I'm your PSL or lower (atleast when I was fat which is most of the last decade) and I've been with 180+ escorts and never had a problem

 

[Deleted member 7725]

I'm your PSL or lower (atleast when I was fat which is most of the last decade) and I've been with 180+ escorts and never had a problem

i look 16 tho. girls have x-ray vision too and can tell if ur gl or not under fat.

 

[Deleted member 16501]

i look 16 tho. girls have x-ray vision too and can tell if ur gl or not under fat.

you look fine, MTN

I look young too- women would be even nice to me- licking my whole body because I look like cute boy

 

[Deleted member 7725]

you look fine, MTN

I look young too- women would be even nice to me- licking my whole body because I look like cute boy

i got rejected multiple times for being too young. ironically the younger escorts (< 25) are the ones who only want geriatric sugar daddies.

 

[Deleted member 21735]

escorts should pay me to have sex with them and even then i wouldnt

 

[currylightskin]

Yakhi how did you make your money ???

 

[Deleted member 7725]

escorts should pay me to have sex with them and even then i wouldnt

why?

 

[Deleted member 22627]

First time was an accident. Went to get a massage when I was recovering from sports and got one with a Chinese bad ass milf. She pointed at my dick and asked if I wanted full body and I said just legs and back since I didn't hear her that well and answered too fast to think. I woulda fucked the shit outta her. She was acting all enthusiastic and wasn't totally disgusted by me so it would've been good ngl.

Second time I went back there to get some p and instead got some ugly ass old girl who was looking at me all disgusted and shit and didn't ask for nothing so just a normal massage.

Third time went on an escort site and found some baddie latina jawn and did the whole verification thing with fake ID and shit. Then last minute I got scared that the FBI was waiting for me and they had my picture and shit so pulled up to the hotel parking lot and just left.

Fourth time I was going to fuck a 40 year old trashy ass milf and was planning on just getting head and she didn't need any verification but then I did some research and got scared of catching some shit from her nasty ass mouth on some Breaking Bad shit so ghosted her.

Fifth time I went through verification for a 25 year old "professional" with her profile all decked out and shit. She was like a low tier becky no cap and I pulled up and she was acting all weirded out and shit and then straight up said she only services older guys over 35+ years old so she told me to leave. Shit's over when ever hookers reject you.

How tf do you guys even get ur dick wet in America? All girls are Chad/BBC only and escorts are all lowkey sting operations or crackhoes with the clap. In Russia you just got a 10/10 Stacy hooker who was happy to get dicked down and that was it, simple.

Nigga can’t even pay to get laid JFL

 

[Deleted member 7725]

Nigga can’t even pay to get laid JFL

i aint fuckin no 40 year old crack hoe and attractive hoes be wildin