ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
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Before anything says anything, yes I understand how ridiculous and insecure this is, but I can’t help it.
Me and my girlfriend have been together 4 years. We dated for 2 years in high school broke up for 3 and got back together 2 years ago. Weeks after our break up she experienced a rape by 2 monsters. I wasn’t there to protect her because I left her. I still feel responsible about it today. I stayed with her as a friend during her recovery, I’ll admit I did a shitty job, I didn’t do any of my own research and I told her I didn’t think I could stomach hearing what those scumbags did to her while she was scared alone and vulnerable.
Last year she felt comfortable having penetrative sex again and I was so excited for both of us. It was satisfying for me but not her. I can only get her to orgasm oral sex or other clit stimulation. She told me she wasn’t able to orgasm from being penetrated so I kinda never sweated it and stuck to the things I am talented at.
3 months ago we both got drunk, her for the first time since the incident. She started crying and told me in very explicit detail what happened for the very first time. Hearing it made me want to throw up, I should’ve been by her side, I wasn’t doing my job as a man to protect her. I’m not going to say exactly what they did, but, it was enough to bring me to tears with her. One thing she said was that the experience gave see multiple of the most intense orgasms she ever experienced. I was shocked, I knew guys could orgasm from rape but I didn’t know women could.
This made me feel incredibly sexually inadequate. It also made me feel like an absolute scumbag for feeling bad that about myself that the guys that raped my girlfriend gave her orgasms from penetration. I am incredibly anxious now whenever she comes. Part of me feels bad that I’m making her orgasm when those were part of her rape. And the other part of me explodes with the feeling that I’m not good enough to keep sleeping with her.
I feel broken emotionally about this situation. I can’t talk to my girlfriend about it, because I don’t want her to feel bad about those guys making her orgasm anymore than she does now. What can I do?
Me and my girlfriend have been together 4 years. We dated for 2 years in high school broke up for 3 and got back together 2 years ago. Weeks after our break up she experienced a rape by 2 monsters. I wasn’t there to protect her because I left her. I still feel responsible about it today. I stayed with her as a friend during her recovery, I’ll admit I did a shitty job, I didn’t do any of my own research and I told her I didn’t think I could stomach hearing what those scumbags did to her while she was scared alone and vulnerable.
Last year she felt comfortable having penetrative sex again and I was so excited for both of us. It was satisfying for me but not her. I can only get her to orgasm oral sex or other clit stimulation. She told me she wasn’t able to orgasm from being penetrated so I kinda never sweated it and stuck to the things I am talented at.
3 months ago we both got drunk, her for the first time since the incident. She started crying and told me in very explicit detail what happened for the very first time. Hearing it made me want to throw up, I should’ve been by her side, I wasn’t doing my job as a man to protect her. I’m not going to say exactly what they did, but, it was enough to bring me to tears with her. One thing she said was that the experience gave see multiple of the most intense orgasms she ever experienced. I was shocked, I knew guys could orgasm from rape but I didn’t know women could.
This made me feel incredibly sexually inadequate. It also made me feel like an absolute scumbag for feeling bad that about myself that the guys that raped my girlfriend gave her orgasms from penetration. I am incredibly anxious now whenever she comes. Part of me feels bad that I’m making her orgasm when those were part of her rape. And the other part of me explodes with the feeling that I’m not good enough to keep sleeping with her.
I feel broken emotionally about this situation. I can’t talk to my girlfriend about it, because I don’t want her to feel bad about those guys making her orgasm anymore than she does now. What can I do?
