Deleted member 6997
Cuckologist
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
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I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now and she has told me that last night she wished my penis was bigger, she then tried to downplay by saying she wished it was a "bit" bigger which offended me even more as I have no control over this. I've had insecurity of my penis size for years to the point where I just refused to date people in fear of disappointment until I went to university.
Regarding sex, it has been very rocky from the get go. I couldn't make her orgasm through my fingers for four months, I had porn related issues which I had fixed by not watching porn and breaking my addiction and I haven't jacked off ever since, I have improved so much by reading up on sex, I've spent nights doing this and I've done all of my research and I feel so much more knowledgeable, I feel like I've done everything I can to be better.
My girlfriend is a brutally honest girl, she's opinionated and she has a fire to her, all of which I love about her but I have felt terrible about how bad the sex was before making an effort to improve. I appreciate her honesty but I kinda wish she lied to me here, it's a pretty difficult dilemma as I'm not sure what I'd rather have now that the truth is out. All night I have been upset by this when I was with her and she was trying to hug me and was apologising to me but what upsets me is how easily she thinks this can be brushed over, she was in the nicest way possible asking me to get over it and move on, am I being unreasonable for this especially when it's so fresh?
She has felt like I would leave her for someone better in the relationship for no reason at all, I have female friends who I've gotten rid of just to help her with this insecurity and I've assured her far better than she did when I felt the same, as hearing this just made me feel so inadequate, she essentially told me that I'm not enough and in response to my insecurity I got a weak "You don't know that".
She tried to have sex with me in the morning, I refused every time. I just can't get this out of my head and I feel like her attempts are out of pity, I left her place in a huff, I just walked out and muttered a few words walking out of her room into the hall and she just now got mad at me because of the chance that her flatmates could potentially hear that we got into an argument. Which I feel just shows that she cares more about that than the words she just said to me.
I just want to know how I can get over this. I do feel bad for behaving like this and I would like to apologise to her but I'm still so upset.
Regarding sex, it has been very rocky from the get go. I couldn't make her orgasm through my fingers for four months, I had porn related issues which I had fixed by not watching porn and breaking my addiction and I haven't jacked off ever since, I have improved so much by reading up on sex, I've spent nights doing this and I've done all of my research and I feel so much more knowledgeable, I feel like I've done everything I can to be better.
My girlfriend is a brutally honest girl, she's opinionated and she has a fire to her, all of which I love about her but I have felt terrible about how bad the sex was before making an effort to improve. I appreciate her honesty but I kinda wish she lied to me here, it's a pretty difficult dilemma as I'm not sure what I'd rather have now that the truth is out. All night I have been upset by this when I was with her and she was trying to hug me and was apologising to me but what upsets me is how easily she thinks this can be brushed over, she was in the nicest way possible asking me to get over it and move on, am I being unreasonable for this especially when it's so fresh?
She has felt like I would leave her for someone better in the relationship for no reason at all, I have female friends who I've gotten rid of just to help her with this insecurity and I've assured her far better than she did when I felt the same, as hearing this just made me feel so inadequate, she essentially told me that I'm not enough and in response to my insecurity I got a weak "You don't know that".
She tried to have sex with me in the morning, I refused every time. I just can't get this out of my head and I feel like her attempts are out of pity, I left her place in a huff, I just walked out and muttered a few words walking out of her room into the hall and she just now got mad at me because of the chance that her flatmates could potentially hear that we got into an argument. Which I feel just shows that she cares more about that than the words she just said to me.
I just want to know how I can get over this. I do feel bad for behaving like this and I would like to apologise to her but I'm still so upset.
