CalebIQ
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2025
- Posts
- 77
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- 42
( this is just me spitballing things that i’ve experienced as a vent, not structured in any way )
going outside every day is a struggle for me. i’m only ever dragged out of my house, never by choice. every time that i leave the premises of my house i am immediately filled with anger, spitefulness, envy, sadness. 99% of the time i leave my house i end up in the bathroom, CRYING, calling my mom to come and get me because of my sheer social anxiety. i can’t stay at a social event for over 30 minutes without having a complete and utter anxiety attack. my hands start shaking and i start hyperventilating at the sight of other people and i already know it’s over. ( FYI FOR THE NEXT STORY IM 6’0 WITH A RELATIVELY WIDE FRAME IN 8TH GRADE ). when i was at school one day, some kid ( ~ 5’6 JESTER ) pulled up my sleeve in the middle of class and slapped HAND SANITIZER on my arm because he knows i cut myself, also these weren’t just some cat scratches these were fucking open styros from a couple nights ago at the time ( huge holes like half an inch deep in my arm ). following this i went to the bathroom and hit myself and ripped my hair out and shit before calling my mom and getting checked out.
my life seems better off if i go ahead and take a left turn and kill myself, short cutting to the end of my life. i hate living day by day my life is only dread and misery. and guess what ? NOBODY TAKES MY PROBLEMS SERIOUSLY, “but bhai you’re 6’0 htn” DO YOU THINK I CARE NIGGA? i’m so fucking high inhib man i hate myself and everyone else i hope everyone dies including myself this world deserves to rot.
thanks for reading this if anyone did, and give some advice maybe idk maybe it’s not completely over, do you think i just have bad social anxiety of am i literally autistic? i hope none of you have to live the way i do and be thankful for being a normie.
going outside every day is a struggle for me. i’m only ever dragged out of my house, never by choice. every time that i leave the premises of my house i am immediately filled with anger, spitefulness, envy, sadness. 99% of the time i leave my house i end up in the bathroom, CRYING, calling my mom to come and get me because of my sheer social anxiety. i can’t stay at a social event for over 30 minutes without having a complete and utter anxiety attack. my hands start shaking and i start hyperventilating at the sight of other people and i already know it’s over. ( FYI FOR THE NEXT STORY IM 6’0 WITH A RELATIVELY WIDE FRAME IN 8TH GRADE ). when i was at school one day, some kid ( ~ 5’6 JESTER ) pulled up my sleeve in the middle of class and slapped HAND SANITIZER on my arm because he knows i cut myself, also these weren’t just some cat scratches these were fucking open styros from a couple nights ago at the time ( huge holes like half an inch deep in my arm ). following this i went to the bathroom and hit myself and ripped my hair out and shit before calling my mom and getting checked out.
my life seems better off if i go ahead and take a left turn and kill myself, short cutting to the end of my life. i hate living day by day my life is only dread and misery. and guess what ? NOBODY TAKES MY PROBLEMS SERIOUSLY, “but bhai you’re 6’0 htn” DO YOU THINK I CARE NIGGA? i’m so fucking high inhib man i hate myself and everyone else i hope everyone dies including myself this world deserves to rot.
thanks for reading this if anyone did, and give some advice maybe idk maybe it’s not completely over, do you think i just have bad social anxiety of am i literally autistic? i hope none of you have to live the way i do and be thankful for being a normie.
