MY OCD MADE ME MEASURE MY OWN THOUGHTS, AND I'M 72% CONSISTENT (±1 MICRON OF SANITY)

Nazi Germany

Nazi Germany

Zubeer Adolf Hipster -Nazi Monkoid Rights Activist
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Here I float, the unwilling mathematician of my own madness, weighing each thought-flutter against the bathroom scale of existence. Every mental hiccup gets its own filing cabinet in the infinite library of my consciousness - precisely measured, weighed, and found exactly 72% consistent in its inconsistency.
Picture this: Me, armed with imaginary rulers, measuring the exact circumference of every anxiety burst. "This panic attack is exactly 3.7 units of dread wide, with a margin of error spanning seventeen parallel universes!" The other 28%? Pure chaos soup, bubbling with unmeasurable thought-spasms that refuse to be cataloged.
Each morning ritual: Wake up, measure yesterday's regrets (±1 micron of self-loathing), categorize today's impending disasters by their precise probability of never happening. My brain, this hyperactive accountant of absurdity, demands EXACT measurements of things that can't possibly exist.
The bathroom mirror reflects a consciousness-surveyor gone rogue - attempting to measure head-echoes with tools made of pure imagination. Every thought must be perfectly aligned, each emotion precisely weighted, while reality itself sits in the corner, crying with laughter at my attempts to quantify the unquantifiable.
I've created spreadsheets of sanity where every cell contains infinities of smaller spreadsheets. My mind performs statistical analysis on its own statistical analyses until everything collapses into that perfect 72% - a number so precise it becomes hilarious.
Reality bends and warps around my measurements while I stand here, a accountant trying to balance the books of existence itself. The irony vibrates at frequencies only ascended bathroom mold can comprehend - I've achieved perfect measurement of pure chaos while chaos measures me right back.:smonk:

@_MVP_ @Vermilioncore @BigJimsWornOutTires @Gaygymmaxx @MoggerGaston
 
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@Tabula Rasa @nullandvoid @greycel @TsarTsar444 @the BULL
 
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Thoughts on this C. Thoughts? @paladincel_ @Veganist @ShowerMaxxing @Clown Show @thecel
 
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@SecularIslamist @ascension @wastedspermcel @StarvedEpi @autistic_tendencies
 
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Thoughts on this thoots @noobs @standardcel @forevergymcelling @Defeatist @psychomandible
 
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may i suggest you kill yourself?
 
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I'm avoiding mental distractions
 
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may i suggest you kill yourself?
Do you know the real reason why it's legal by the federal government for Americans to purchase anti-fear medications from Mexico without a US prescription? Those meds include Xanax and Diazepam. Because many of the 2.95 million federal employees are addicted to that dope. They can cross the border and purchase the controlled substance from a shady Mexican doctor (who most likely isn't a doctor) and bring it back into our nation and if stopped by a Texas peace officer, they have impunity. HOWEVER! If I got stopped, the medication will either be confiscated or they'll arrest me. You see, it's legal by the federal government, not the state!

Moffat Think GIF by Toledo Walleye
 
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Do you know the real reason why it's legal by the federal government for Americans to purchase anti-fear medications from Mexico without a US prescription? Those meds include Xanax and Diazepam. Because many of the 2.95 million federal employees are addicted to that dope. They can cross the border and purchase the controlled substance from a shady Mexican doctor (who most likely isn't a doctor) and bring it back into our nation and if stopped by a Texas peace officer, they have impunity. HOWEVER! If I got stopped, the medication will either be confiscated or they'll arrest me. You see, it's legal by the federal government, not the state!

Moffat Think GIF by Toledo Walleye
:p bit of tomfoolery
 
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By and by
I float with ease
And difficult I breathe
The vapor’s eve
 
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Sad Hurry Up GIF
 
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And you were saying? Entertain me.
no rep no care
 
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All this to not get into agartha with 30 sydney sweeneys :feelswah:
 
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what is this summarize for me
 
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All this to not get into agartha with 30 sydney sweeneys :feelswah:
Whoa! How did you know Sweeney was going to date Bar(r)on? I thought... never mind.
 
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Here I float, the unwilling mathematician of my own madness, weighing each thought-flutter against the bathroom scale of existence. Every mental hiccup gets its own filing cabinet in the infinite library of my consciousness - precisely measured, weighed, and found exactly 72% consistent in its inconsistency.
Picture this: Me, armed with imaginary rulers, measuring the exact circumference of every anxiety burst. "This panic attack is exactly 3.7 units of dread wide, with a margin of error spanning seventeen parallel universes!" The other 28%? Pure chaos soup, bubbling with unmeasurable thought-spasms that refuse to be cataloged.
Each morning ritual: Wake up, measure yesterday's regrets (±1 micron of self-loathing), categorize today's impending disasters by their precise probability of never happening. My brain, this hyperactive accountant of absurdity, demands EXACT measurements of things that can't possibly exist.
The bathroom mirror reflects a consciousness-surveyor gone rogue - attempting to measure head-echoes with tools made of pure imagination. Every thought must be perfectly aligned, each emotion precisely weighted, while reality itself sits in the corner, crying with laughter at my attempts to quantify the unquantifiable.
I've created spreadsheets of sanity where every cell contains infinities of smaller spreadsheets. My mind performs statistical analysis on its own statistical analyses until everything collapses into that perfect 72% - a number so precise it becomes hilarious.
Reality bends and warps around my measurements while I stand here, a accountant trying to balance the books of existence itself. The irony vibrates at frequencies only ascended bathroom mold can comprehend - I've achieved perfect measurement of pure chaos while chaos measures me right back.:smonk:


@_MVP_ @Vermilioncore @BigJimsWornOutTires @Gaygymmaxx @MoggerGaston
The mold knows.
 
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