MY OCD MADE ME MEASURE MY OWN THOUGHTS, AND I'M 72% CONSISTENT (±1 MICRON OF SANITY)

Nazi Germany

Nazi Germany

Zubeer Adolf Hipster - KVAZAR MOLOCH
Joined
Aug 15, 2024
Posts
1,319
Reputation
3,820
Here I float, the unwilling mathematician of my own madness, weighing each thought-flutter against the bathroom scale of existence. Every mental hiccup gets its own filing cabinet in the infinite library of my consciousness - precisely measured, weighed, and found exactly 72% consistent in its inconsistency.
Picture this: Me, armed with imaginary rulers, measuring the exact circumference of every anxiety burst. "This panic attack is exactly 3.7 units of dread wide, with a margin of error spanning seventeen parallel universes!" The other 28%? Pure chaos soup, bubbling with unmeasurable thought-spasms that refuse to be cataloged.
Each morning ritual: Wake up, measure yesterday's regrets (±1 micron of self-loathing), categorize today's impending disasters by their precise probability of never happening. My brain, this hyperactive accountant of absurdity, demands EXACT measurements of things that can't possibly exist.
The bathroom mirror reflects a consciousness-surveyor gone rogue - attempting to measure head-echoes with tools made of pure imagination. Every thought must be perfectly aligned, each emotion precisely weighted, while reality itself sits in the corner, crying with laughter at my attempts to quantify the unquantifiable.
I've created spreadsheets of sanity where every cell contains infinities of smaller spreadsheets. My mind performs statistical analysis on its own statistical analyses until everything collapses into that perfect 72% - a number so precise it becomes hilarious.
Reality bends and warps around my measurements while I stand here, a accountant trying to balance the books of existence itself. The irony vibrates at frequencies only ascended bathroom mold can comprehend - I've achieved perfect measurement of pure chaos while chaos measures me right back.:smonk:

@_MVP_ @Vermilioncore @BigJimsWornOutTires @Gaygymmaxx @MoggerGaston
 
  • +1
  • Woah
  • JFL
Reactions: nullandvoid, Defeatist, StarvedEpi and 5 others
@Tabula Rasa @nullandvoid @greycel @TsarTsar444 @the BULL
 
  • +1
  • Love it
  • Woah
Reactions: nullandvoid, StarvedEpi, greycel and 1 other person
Thoughts on this C. Thoughts? @paladincel_ @Veganist @ShowerMaxxing @Clown Show @thecel
 
  • +1
  • Woah
Reactions: StarvedEpi and thecel
@SecularIslamist @ascension @wastedspermcel @StarvedEpi @autistic_tendencies
 
  • +1
  • Love it
  • Woah
Reactions: StarvedEpi, autistic_tendencies and wastedspermcel
Thoughts on this thoots @noobs @standardcel @forevergymcelling @Defeatist @psychomandible
 
  • +1
Reactions: Defeatist
may i suggest you kill yourself?
 
  • JFL
  • +1
Reactions: N1666, chudlite, Nazi Germany and 1 other person
  • JFL
Reactions: FBl
I'm avoiding mental distractions
 
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany
may i suggest you kill yourself?
Do you know the real reason why it's legal by the federal government for Americans to purchase anti-fear medications from Mexico without a US prescription? Those meds include Xanax and Diazepam. Because many of the 2.95 million federal employees are addicted to that dope. They can cross the border and purchase the controlled substance from a shady Mexican doctor (who most likely isn't a doctor) and bring it back into our nation and if stopped by a Texas peace officer, they have impunity. HOWEVER! If I got stopped, the medication will either be confiscated or they'll arrest me. You see, it's legal by the federal government, not the state!

Moffat Think GIF by Toledo Walleye
 
  • +1
Reactions: Shkreliii, FBl and Nazi Germany
Do you know the real reason why it's legal by the federal government for Americans to purchase anti-fear medications from Mexico without a US prescription? Those meds include Xanax and Diazepam. Because many of the 2.95 million federal employees are addicted to that dope. They can cross the border and purchase the controlled substance from a shady Mexican doctor (who most likely isn't a doctor) and bring it back into our nation and if stopped by a Texas peace officer, they have impunity. HOWEVER! If I got stopped, the medication will either be confiscated or they'll arrest me. You see, it's legal by the federal government, not the state!

Moffat Think GIF by Toledo Walleye
:p bit of tomfoolery
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Nazi Germany
By and by
I float with ease
And difficult I breathe
The vapor’s eve
 
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany and FBl
Sad Hurry Up GIF
 
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany


And you were saying? Entertain me.
no rep no care
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Nazi Germany, Shkreliii and BigJimsWornOutTires
All this to not get into agartha with 30 sydney sweeneys :feelswah:
 
  • Woah
  • So Sad
Reactions: Nazi Germany and BigJimsWornOutTires
what is this summarize for me
 
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany
All this to not get into agartha with 30 sydney sweeneys :feelswah:
Whoa! How did you know Sweeney was going to date Bar(r)on? I thought... never mind.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Nazi Germany
Here I float, the unwilling mathematician of my own madness, weighing each thought-flutter against the bathroom scale of existence. Every mental hiccup gets its own filing cabinet in the infinite library of my consciousness - precisely measured, weighed, and found exactly 72% consistent in its inconsistency.
Picture this: Me, armed with imaginary rulers, measuring the exact circumference of every anxiety burst. "This panic attack is exactly 3.7 units of dread wide, with a margin of error spanning seventeen parallel universes!" The other 28%? Pure chaos soup, bubbling with unmeasurable thought-spasms that refuse to be cataloged.
Each morning ritual: Wake up, measure yesterday's regrets (±1 micron of self-loathing), categorize today's impending disasters by their precise probability of never happening. My brain, this hyperactive accountant of absurdity, demands EXACT measurements of things that can't possibly exist.
The bathroom mirror reflects a consciousness-surveyor gone rogue - attempting to measure head-echoes with tools made of pure imagination. Every thought must be perfectly aligned, each emotion precisely weighted, while reality itself sits in the corner, crying with laughter at my attempts to quantify the unquantifiable.
I've created spreadsheets of sanity where every cell contains infinities of smaller spreadsheets. My mind performs statistical analysis on its own statistical analyses until everything collapses into that perfect 72% - a number so precise it becomes hilarious.
Reality bends and warps around my measurements while I stand here, a accountant trying to balance the books of existence itself. The irony vibrates at frequencies only ascended bathroom mold can comprehend - I've achieved perfect measurement of pure chaos while chaos measures me right back.:smonk:


@_MVP_ @Vermilioncore @BigJimsWornOutTires @Gaygymmaxx @MoggerGaston
The mold knows.
 
  • Love it
Reactions: Nazi Germany

Similar threads

Nazi Germany
Replies
28
Views
278
BigJimsWornOutTires
BigJimsWornOutTires
Nazi Germany
Replies
20
Views
334
_MVP_
_MVP_
Nazi Germany
Replies
32
Views
314
Nazi Germany
Nazi Germany
Nazi Germany
Replies
8
Views
129
redfacccee
redfacccee
Nazi Germany
Replies
10
Views
161
Nazi Germany
Nazi Germany

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top