RealFunkyFlamingo
Bloat like a Flamingo, sting like a Bee
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2023
- Posts
- 12,264
- Reputation
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Yessir the Funky dude did it.
DISCLAIMER. SKIP TO THE FUN PART WITH BOLD LARGE TEXT IF U DONT HAVE TIME
The first date was HORRIBLE. Like she had 0. interest and treated me a like friend.
Before the second date I learned more game via videos and applied them. Actually game is just be as masculine as possible. Especially since she is a pretty feminine woman. So yeah that was what I was going for. So what did I do?
I upgraded my fashion. I went to the date with stylish high class clothes but still kinda casual. It wasn't too high class. It just looked stylish and fashionable.
Secondly I upgraded my game via Snapchat. Like I literally didn't react to her for more than a week. And all of a sudden I snapped her this: let's go to that place tomorrow. She said OK I can after work. So after that we arranged what time. I suggested 3:30 pm.
And this is the moment where you would think this date is gonna be worse than the other one. But read through. It will get better and better.
She said OK. Then the day after she says 2 hours before 3:30 that she can only do 4:30 Pm. I told her alright no problem. So I arrived at 4:30. And then she calls me 10 minutes before that something had come in between and she will be.. Wait for it.... AN HOUR LATER! She disrespected my time. So I let her know that. She asked me do U find that an issue? I told her maybe. And then I asked her. Do YOU find that an issue. She was left speechless (My IQ that day was just too high, bear in mind I had only slept. For 5 hours that day so this is defo something wicked). She didn't say a word. 10 mins later she called me. I didn't answer the first call. Cuz I was actually busy with something else. Like she wasn't that important to me. I wouldn't even care if she didn't show up. I'll just hangout by myself and talk to strangers. I literally didn't care. But after 2 mins I called her back and gave her a chance. So we talked through the phone. And she fucking called an UBER for me. That shit is hella expensive cuz she had to travel for atleast 20km. She said it is expensive but I'll do it cuz I showing up later will make her feel guilty or some shit. I literally said just OK. nothing else. No thank you. Nothing. And then I hang up and walked for 1 hour in the train station just looking at people knowing that I mog most of them. Pretty entertaining ngl. I got a cup of coffee to debloat my face a Lil cuz I had a puffy face cuz of bad sleep. My diet is clean as hell cuz I am cutting. So don't come at me with muh sodium. It's bad sleep. My face debloated a lil after my methods. And then I waited her near a store in the city centre. I walked a lot. And then she came out of a black cab at 5:30pm. All dressed up and insane cleavage I almost saw her nipples and a fur coat. Atleast she is well prepared. I was smiling a Lil at that moment and gave her simp attention. I told her she had nice clothes and she looks cute. She said thanks and told me I had a nice jacket.
After that drama. We went for a coffee. I told her let's do a coffee. She said yeah let's go there. Then I said nah let's do Starbucks it's better. Then she hesitated. But she saw me already heading that way and then she followed me. Basically I treated her like shit and other times I treated her well. I wanted the date to be entertaining this time. I wanted to show her that I am NOT boring to hang around with. So I improvised the whole date. We went for a coffee. And again she didn't finish her tiny pastry we bought. I mean it's max 100 cals. And she is fat. Why didn't she finish? Who knows maybe she is cutting also... Also she is a slow drinker. I drank my coffee in 1 min and she did almost 10 mins for it.
So we talked in a playful manner. We were joking around. And then I told her that I hadn't anything planned for this date. She wasn't very shocked. Even though I hyped her up via snap that it would be an insane date. She knew I was lying. It will be just keep reading.
So she brought up a hotel near us. That we should sneak in there and hangout there. It was a place where very rich people went and U needed a membership to come in. So it was a challenge to sneak in. I said yeah let's go there.
During our Starbucks date she wanted me to fix her necklace. When she asked that I told her why don't you that yourself. At this point she was pretty shocked. I saw it in her eyes. Her shock entertained me ngl. But she said please. I told her alright only cuz it's you. Then I tried but failed. After that she fixed it herself and she made another selfie of herself. I am telling you guys this girl makes 10 selfies in a minute. Like whole date she was taking selfies of herself. She is narcy as hell. Atleast we had something in common. We are both narcy JFL. Maybe I have found the one who knows. She also doesn't drink alcohol like me. So I defo saw some lonf term potential in her.
While we were heading to the hotel she stopped and told me to carry her purse. GUYS THIS IS A SHIT TEST, ONLY HIGH IQ MALES WILL SEE THROUGH THIS SHIT (LIKE ME). I told her to carry it by herself cuz I am not her slave. I am not a simp and she is not even that special. So why would I. At this point she was more shocked than last time. She looked at me for 5 seconds atleast and said PLEASE. Not really angry. Just very shocked. As if she heard bad news. After she said please I said alright and I didn't carry it that well. Cuz I didn't want to tbh. But then she grabbed her wallet and wanted to give some money to a homeless person. I felt a Lil guilty at that moment. So I made the date more playful and told her to guess how much I will give that homeless person. And then I brought a coin flip. If it's tails I'll give 1 euro. If it's head then 2 euro. It was tails. I gave him 3 euros instead. More than what she gave him. I think she did that cuz she didn't wanna seem narcy. But she defo is.
And then we went on our way. When we were walking I told her that she looked superficial and not interesting to me at first sight. She said Huuhhhh why. I told her I don't know maybe the makeup or just her aura is off. She became disappointed and then I told her but because U arranged an Uber for this date I gained more respect for her. And that she sparked my interest. I told her that she is interesting to me. Not cute. Just interesting. She made a joke after that serious convo about me getting more nervous. She said don't get too nervous. I told her I am never nervous.
Then we arrived at the place. We couldn't go in by ourselves otherwise we would be caught. So we waited for people to go with so that the reception is distracted. So we went in. She was hella nervous but I just went in cuz I am fearless. I literally didn't give a fuck about anything. We went in and then we waited at a restaurant inside going for best moment to go upstairs. I told her to follow me and to go now. She hesitated but followed me eventually. We went upstairs and she was surprised that we didn't get caught she was scared and happy at the same time. Jfl. She said she didn't expect this from me. Cuz I lookes like a cautious type. I told her there are many things U still don't know about me. And then we went to a private cinema. It was empty. We were chilling there. There were cameras everywhere. She said isn't it scary. Maybe they will see us on their monitors. I reassured her by telling her that these guys don't look very often. Cuz I have a friend who owns agym and he told me once he only looks at cameras when something bad happened like a burglary or something. She said oh OK. And then we made pics of the place to make this moment memorable. I also made a video of her and was the narrator of that video. I made it on he phone. We were joking around d the whole time and she liked how I joekd around. Also did I mention that she was brushing her hair like crazy when we were drinking coffee. Its as if she knows I am tiers above her and she is right now dating the most handsome person in 20km radius. Btw she knows that my physique is pretty damn good.
Sorry I digress. Let's continue.
This is the part that u want to read. So if U don't want to read allat. Skip to this part.
So after that cinema experience (there was no movie we just chilled there. The seats were very comfy. Cuz it's a rich place) she suggested to go to the rooftop and be alone together. In other words she wanted to fuck me. But her excuse is that her phone was empty and she needs to charge it up. So we were on the rooftop. And at this moment she gave me insane GIGACHAD signals. It wasn't brushing hair anymore. It was more. Way more. So we were talking and all of a sudden she began playing with my hair and told me that I have nice eyes and that I smell good. I told her guess which smell. She said Dior Sauvage. I said yes. But the good one not the ordinary one. Elixir is best one btw. She said omg yes it's very nice smell. I like it. And she also said U have nice curls. I told her this will cost her money if she keeps touching my hair. Every touch is 10 euros. She laughed. I said I'm gonna make her poor. She reciprocated and told me haven't I made u poor enough tho? I told her I have infinite money glitch I can't get poor. She laughed hard. And then I went in closer and the we kissed for like atleast 5 seconds. My lips were red af after that juicy kiss cuz she had red lipstick on. I liked her body. She was soft and warm. Very estrogenic. It didn't escalate that hard tbh. I mean there were people near us. They would hear us having sex if we escalated there. So I just played it off and told her she is a bad kisser. Then she laughed she said U are worse. And then she asked me about my lenses. She asked are these real? Cuz I always thought ur eyecolor was dark brown. I said what chance would u say that these are not real. She said 80 percent. We did a coin flip. And even that agreed. I showed her the coin flip. And said guess you are right. My eye color is dark brown. After that her chad signals shifted to high normie signals. Which is a pity.
We went to the gym of the hotel. We dressed up. We sneaked through the reception. She played it off very well she distracted the receptionist for me so that I could go in with ease. I trained in my casual clothes. She too. She only did cardio. I was doing arms and shoulders primarily. I hadn't eaten anything and it was 8pm. So I was depleted for sure. And pretty debloated. My whole arms became very veiny and I gained hollow cheeks after that 30min workout. At that point her normie signals shifted to Chad signals again. And she began touching my arms and told me that she had to go home cuz her parents were calling her. I agreed.
While we were waiting for the train. She had very open body language and told me she really enjoyed the date. I agreed. And then all of a sudden she was the one offering me a hug. And then I kissed her on her forehead cuz why not. And then I played with her hair and the last words of the date were "keep your hair like that" and she laughed. We parted ways. I also concluded that she is most definitely a virgin. Her snapscore is 16k jfl. And she really doesn't have IG. I guess the chance of her being virgin is like that 85 percent. At first I thought 0 percent but after knowing her better I'd say 85percent is decent guess. Cuz she looked inexperienced as hell ngl. She defo already kissed couple guys. That's for sure.
THE END
At this moment she ghosted me for 6 days straight and all of a sudden she texted me about having a date tomorrow. I told her to go to *city name* she said nooo I can't. It will cost me too much money it's too far for me she said. I told it's either that or nothing. Cuz I wasn't having it with her cringe behavior and her 6 day absence. After that she didn't react. Most likely tomorrow she will react with alright.
If u read every molecule. U are now part of the funky lore. Be happy.
Tagging some good lads @Jonas2k7 @nathan @Mosh12 @Orc @andy9432 @noahwillascend @Heatmiser @WeiWei @thales20 @LKSMAXPerson @Zeta @ineonx @charliewillascend @KT-34
@Redblue0 @lebesgue @Dendoni @PARISIEN
DISCLAIMER. SKIP TO THE FUN PART WITH BOLD LARGE TEXT IF U DONT HAVE TIME
The first date was HORRIBLE. Like she had 0. interest and treated me a like friend.
Before the second date I learned more game via videos and applied them. Actually game is just be as masculine as possible. Especially since she is a pretty feminine woman. So yeah that was what I was going for. So what did I do?
I upgraded my fashion. I went to the date with stylish high class clothes but still kinda casual. It wasn't too high class. It just looked stylish and fashionable.
Secondly I upgraded my game via Snapchat. Like I literally didn't react to her for more than a week. And all of a sudden I snapped her this: let's go to that place tomorrow. She said OK I can after work. So after that we arranged what time. I suggested 3:30 pm.
And this is the moment where you would think this date is gonna be worse than the other one. But read through. It will get better and better.
She said OK. Then the day after she says 2 hours before 3:30 that she can only do 4:30 Pm. I told her alright no problem. So I arrived at 4:30. And then she calls me 10 minutes before that something had come in between and she will be.. Wait for it.... AN HOUR LATER! She disrespected my time. So I let her know that. She asked me do U find that an issue? I told her maybe. And then I asked her. Do YOU find that an issue. She was left speechless (My IQ that day was just too high, bear in mind I had only slept. For 5 hours that day so this is defo something wicked). She didn't say a word. 10 mins later she called me. I didn't answer the first call. Cuz I was actually busy with something else. Like she wasn't that important to me. I wouldn't even care if she didn't show up. I'll just hangout by myself and talk to strangers. I literally didn't care. But after 2 mins I called her back and gave her a chance. So we talked through the phone. And she fucking called an UBER for me. That shit is hella expensive cuz she had to travel for atleast 20km. She said it is expensive but I'll do it cuz I showing up later will make her feel guilty or some shit. I literally said just OK. nothing else. No thank you. Nothing. And then I hang up and walked for 1 hour in the train station just looking at people knowing that I mog most of them. Pretty entertaining ngl. I got a cup of coffee to debloat my face a Lil cuz I had a puffy face cuz of bad sleep. My diet is clean as hell cuz I am cutting. So don't come at me with muh sodium. It's bad sleep. My face debloated a lil after my methods. And then I waited her near a store in the city centre. I walked a lot. And then she came out of a black cab at 5:30pm. All dressed up and insane cleavage I almost saw her nipples and a fur coat. Atleast she is well prepared. I was smiling a Lil at that moment and gave her simp attention. I told her she had nice clothes and she looks cute. She said thanks and told me I had a nice jacket.
After that drama. We went for a coffee. I told her let's do a coffee. She said yeah let's go there. Then I said nah let's do Starbucks it's better. Then she hesitated. But she saw me already heading that way and then she followed me. Basically I treated her like shit and other times I treated her well. I wanted the date to be entertaining this time. I wanted to show her that I am NOT boring to hang around with. So I improvised the whole date. We went for a coffee. And again she didn't finish her tiny pastry we bought. I mean it's max 100 cals. And she is fat. Why didn't she finish? Who knows maybe she is cutting also... Also she is a slow drinker. I drank my coffee in 1 min and she did almost 10 mins for it.
So we talked in a playful manner. We were joking around. And then I told her that I hadn't anything planned for this date. She wasn't very shocked. Even though I hyped her up via snap that it would be an insane date. She knew I was lying. It will be just keep reading.
So she brought up a hotel near us. That we should sneak in there and hangout there. It was a place where very rich people went and U needed a membership to come in. So it was a challenge to sneak in. I said yeah let's go there.
During our Starbucks date she wanted me to fix her necklace. When she asked that I told her why don't you that yourself. At this point she was pretty shocked. I saw it in her eyes. Her shock entertained me ngl. But she said please. I told her alright only cuz it's you. Then I tried but failed. After that she fixed it herself and she made another selfie of herself. I am telling you guys this girl makes 10 selfies in a minute. Like whole date she was taking selfies of herself. She is narcy as hell. Atleast we had something in common. We are both narcy JFL. Maybe I have found the one who knows. She also doesn't drink alcohol like me. So I defo saw some lonf term potential in her.
While we were heading to the hotel she stopped and told me to carry her purse. GUYS THIS IS A SHIT TEST, ONLY HIGH IQ MALES WILL SEE THROUGH THIS SHIT (LIKE ME). I told her to carry it by herself cuz I am not her slave. I am not a simp and she is not even that special. So why would I. At this point she was more shocked than last time. She looked at me for 5 seconds atleast and said PLEASE. Not really angry. Just very shocked. As if she heard bad news. After she said please I said alright and I didn't carry it that well. Cuz I didn't want to tbh. But then she grabbed her wallet and wanted to give some money to a homeless person. I felt a Lil guilty at that moment. So I made the date more playful and told her to guess how much I will give that homeless person. And then I brought a coin flip. If it's tails I'll give 1 euro. If it's head then 2 euro. It was tails. I gave him 3 euros instead. More than what she gave him. I think she did that cuz she didn't wanna seem narcy. But she defo is.
And then we went on our way. When we were walking I told her that she looked superficial and not interesting to me at first sight. She said Huuhhhh why. I told her I don't know maybe the makeup or just her aura is off. She became disappointed and then I told her but because U arranged an Uber for this date I gained more respect for her. And that she sparked my interest. I told her that she is interesting to me. Not cute. Just interesting. She made a joke after that serious convo about me getting more nervous. She said don't get too nervous. I told her I am never nervous.
Then we arrived at the place. We couldn't go in by ourselves otherwise we would be caught. So we waited for people to go with so that the reception is distracted. So we went in. She was hella nervous but I just went in cuz I am fearless. I literally didn't give a fuck about anything. We went in and then we waited at a restaurant inside going for best moment to go upstairs. I told her to follow me and to go now. She hesitated but followed me eventually. We went upstairs and she was surprised that we didn't get caught she was scared and happy at the same time. Jfl. She said she didn't expect this from me. Cuz I lookes like a cautious type. I told her there are many things U still don't know about me. And then we went to a private cinema. It was empty. We were chilling there. There were cameras everywhere. She said isn't it scary. Maybe they will see us on their monitors. I reassured her by telling her that these guys don't look very often. Cuz I have a friend who owns agym and he told me once he only looks at cameras when something bad happened like a burglary or something. She said oh OK. And then we made pics of the place to make this moment memorable. I also made a video of her and was the narrator of that video. I made it on he phone. We were joking around d the whole time and she liked how I joekd around. Also did I mention that she was brushing her hair like crazy when we were drinking coffee. Its as if she knows I am tiers above her and she is right now dating the most handsome person in 20km radius. Btw she knows that my physique is pretty damn good.
Sorry I digress. Let's continue.
This is the part that u want to read. So if U don't want to read allat. Skip to this part.
So after that cinema experience (there was no movie we just chilled there. The seats were very comfy. Cuz it's a rich place) she suggested to go to the rooftop and be alone together. In other words she wanted to fuck me. But her excuse is that her phone was empty and she needs to charge it up. So we were on the rooftop. And at this moment she gave me insane GIGACHAD signals. It wasn't brushing hair anymore. It was more. Way more. So we were talking and all of a sudden she began playing with my hair and told me that I have nice eyes and that I smell good. I told her guess which smell. She said Dior Sauvage. I said yes. But the good one not the ordinary one. Elixir is best one btw. She said omg yes it's very nice smell. I like it. And she also said U have nice curls. I told her this will cost her money if she keeps touching my hair. Every touch is 10 euros. She laughed. I said I'm gonna make her poor. She reciprocated and told me haven't I made u poor enough tho? I told her I have infinite money glitch I can't get poor. She laughed hard. And then I went in closer and the we kissed for like atleast 5 seconds. My lips were red af after that juicy kiss cuz she had red lipstick on. I liked her body. She was soft and warm. Very estrogenic. It didn't escalate that hard tbh. I mean there were people near us. They would hear us having sex if we escalated there. So I just played it off and told her she is a bad kisser. Then she laughed she said U are worse. And then she asked me about my lenses. She asked are these real? Cuz I always thought ur eyecolor was dark brown. I said what chance would u say that these are not real. She said 80 percent. We did a coin flip. And even that agreed. I showed her the coin flip. And said guess you are right. My eye color is dark brown. After that her chad signals shifted to high normie signals. Which is a pity.
We went to the gym of the hotel. We dressed up. We sneaked through the reception. She played it off very well she distracted the receptionist for me so that I could go in with ease. I trained in my casual clothes. She too. She only did cardio. I was doing arms and shoulders primarily. I hadn't eaten anything and it was 8pm. So I was depleted for sure. And pretty debloated. My whole arms became very veiny and I gained hollow cheeks after that 30min workout. At that point her normie signals shifted to Chad signals again. And she began touching my arms and told me that she had to go home cuz her parents were calling her. I agreed.
While we were waiting for the train. She had very open body language and told me she really enjoyed the date. I agreed. And then all of a sudden she was the one offering me a hug. And then I kissed her on her forehead cuz why not. And then I played with her hair and the last words of the date were "keep your hair like that" and she laughed. We parted ways. I also concluded that she is most definitely a virgin. Her snapscore is 16k jfl. And she really doesn't have IG. I guess the chance of her being virgin is like that 85 percent. At first I thought 0 percent but after knowing her better I'd say 85percent is decent guess. Cuz she looked inexperienced as hell ngl. She defo already kissed couple guys. That's for sure.
THE END
At this moment she ghosted me for 6 days straight and all of a sudden she texted me about having a date tomorrow. I told her to go to *city name* she said nooo I can't. It will cost me too much money it's too far for me she said. I told it's either that or nothing. Cuz I wasn't having it with her cringe behavior and her 6 day absence. After that she didn't react. Most likely tomorrow she will react with alright.
If u read every molecule. U are now part of the funky lore. Be happy.
Tagging some good lads @Jonas2k7 @nathan @Mosh12 @Orc @andy9432 @noahwillascend @Heatmiser @WeiWei @thales20 @LKSMAXPerson @Zeta @ineonx @charliewillascend @KT-34
@Redblue0 @lebesgue @Dendoni @PARISIEN
But mirin! Good stuff bhai
