ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
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I don't know where else to vent my feelings about this topic for obvious reasons I guess. I'm a 20 year old woman and I was strolling home from work, it was just starting to get dark but it wasn't like the dead of night or something. I was on a canal and he offered me a cigarette. Looking back I feel ashamed to have accepted because maybe if I rejected that, I wouldn't have even been raped, idk. He grabbed my arm suddenly and I twisted my own arm to try to get away but he was stronger than me and was able to drag me to a quieter part of the canal. I struggled and kicked him and sort of flailed at him the whole time, but he didn't even get affected by it. He just kept threatening me. I hate myself because I did not scream for help, I just let him take me to wherever. I keep thinking that if I did scream, I wouldn't have been raped.
When we were in this quiter corner, he threatened Mr and told me that ithe louder I was, the worse it would be, and he kept threatening that he'd drown me in the canal, or break my nose, or even my arm he proceeded to tear off my work clothes, later by layer. I knew what was coming, and all I did was whimper and not scream. He vaginally penetrated me,and I was a virgin for religious reasons. The pain was indescribable, the second he entered me, I screamed from the pain and terror of it all. He kept going, he tried to muffle me by putting his hand over my moth, but I couldn't help screaming. I tried to beg, I didn't know intercourse hurts that badly.. thing. He kept going until he was finished, And I was fucking bleeding and I had never felt worse inw my life.
But the problem is, I was wet before it even began. I' was physically aroused by him and what he did to my body. I am ashamed to admit that even though I hated it all, I must've enjoyed it because I orgasmed during it. I've read that it's notmal to be aroused during rape, but I feel worthless and disgusting for losing my virginity and orgasminf to a rapist.theres something wrong with my body for being so turned on even thinking about it now. I hate how my body reacted.
When we were in this quiter corner, he threatened Mr and told me that ithe louder I was, the worse it would be, and he kept threatening that he'd drown me in the canal, or break my nose, or even my arm he proceeded to tear off my work clothes, later by layer. I knew what was coming, and all I did was whimper and not scream. He vaginally penetrated me,and I was a virgin for religious reasons. The pain was indescribable, the second he entered me, I screamed from the pain and terror of it all. He kept going, he tried to muffle me by putting his hand over my moth, but I couldn't help screaming. I tried to beg, I didn't know intercourse hurts that badly.. thing. He kept going until he was finished, And I was fucking bleeding and I had never felt worse inw my life.
But the problem is, I was wet before it even began. I' was physically aroused by him and what he did to my body. I am ashamed to admit that even though I hated it all, I must've enjoyed it because I orgasmed during it. I've read that it's notmal to be aroused during rape, but I feel worthless and disgusting for losing my virginity and orgasminf to a rapist.theres something wrong with my body for being so turned on even thinking about it now. I hate how my body reacted.
