alien
Kraken
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
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Did I fuck up by not texting her after our last date on March 3rd because I was butthurt when I noticed that she was acting different? All the red pill dating coaches would say that I did the right thing by mutual fading/ghosting her. But I wanna hear what you black pilled autists think. It's been 47 days and she hasn't bothered reaching out to me. We had been dating for just over 3 months (since November 29th) and first slept with each other December 8th.
On March 3rd she wanted me to treat her to dinner at a restaurant (Pickle Barrel) at the mall we were stopping by. Because money is tight for her because she has been unemployed for some months and is applying to get into a government grant funded re-training program in college. To date I never really beta provided for her. Like I've given her rides several times because she doesn't drive. I bought her tea a couple times. That kinda thing. We exchanged gifts with each other for Christmas and Valentine's. But I never treated her to dinner. Because Chad doesn't need to pay, why should I right? She even treated me to a movie once. And bought me some skin care product that cost like $16 CAD and I never reimbursed her for that (she didn't bring this up though). I'm 10 years younger than her (38M, 48F). I also am pretty sure I overheard her say, "do you wanna treat me the way that I treated you?" (as she has made me dinner plenty of times and treated me to a movie once at a discounted price. I think it was like $7.50 CAD + tax or something. And gave me that skincare product and didn't ask for money). She said the last part in a hushed passive aggressive type of tone. She even said we can do food court food if I want.
But I'm a gymcel who hadn't eaten protein all day at her apartment. Because she's a vegan. And the macros at the restaurant menus I looked at were dog shit. So I didn't feel like eating out. And would prefer to just get my protein at home later. She was cold towards me for most of the rest of the day after that because I didn't offer to treat her to dinner. She said that she wants fifty-fifty and is implying that I don't do my fair share. Even though I've given her rides and shit. And have helped her with her homework for that college program. And I had even agreed to go pick her up from Niagara Falls (that's far from Toronto) in the future in April when she comes back from her vacation in New Jersey seeing her adult daughter's family (including her grandchildren). Ultimately I didn't end up picking her up this month because we hadn't talked in 47 days. When I initiated sex before I left Sunday evening, she said that she had to go study, didn't have time for that. This was the first time she's ever turned me down for sex. Before I left she told her cat to say bye to me. And she gave me a good night kiss when I left. I decided not to text her when I got home. Which was the first time I didn't text her when I got home. And I didn't bother reaching out to her and she didn't reach out to me either. Then four days later Thursday night March 7th I get an email that she unshared her Apple Calendar with me.
Did I fuck up by not paying dinner for her and not reaching out to her after our last date? Is my brain just too poisoned by the red/black pill? Or did I make the right call? Was I being unfair to her? I used to be in my Golden Retriever energy and used to be taken advantage of by women as a beta buxx cuckold. But with her I was more in my black cat energy. I was totally done with dating before she approached me IRL at a meetup app and slid in my DMs.
One time back in December/January I casually glanced at her phone and saw she had 34 unread notifications on her meetup app. She later mentioned to me (without me asking) that lots of men on meetup app were messaging her. Then on the day we last saw each other I saw she was down to like 13, maybe 14 unread notifications on her meetup app. This woman used to worship me. Treat me like a Chad Incubus God. Be so gung ho to please me sexually. Everything. Told me she wishes she wasn't post menopausal because she wants to have my baby. That she loves me. That I'm sexy. That I was the best lover she ever had. No man has ever loved her the way I loved her she said before. And then when I saw her just turn cold and pull away from me, it was like bruh. I couldn't help but want to pull back from her. Makes me wonder how fake she was. Not that long ago she was telling me how great I was and now she switches up like this? Makes me wonder if she monkey branched to someone else or was fucking someone else. I looked at her sofa and noticed old stains on there. I never bothered to look at her sofa in detail before. The same sofa where we had fucked before multiple times. I was just way more alert now. This is a woman who told me that no man has ever liked going down on her, she told me I was the only man who liked going down on her. Talking about how all her exes were narcissists or assholes. Her baby daddy was charged with human trafficking.
She also showed me disrespect a couple times in the past. Back in late January she laughed when she saw that my short legs (I'm a 167cm turbo manlet) were hovering over the floor on the bus and she asked me if I can't even set my feet down on the floor of the bus. I showed her that I could. But that was very disrespectful for her to say that. And on Valentine's Day overhearing something the radio host said about Usher being in great shape for 45 years old, making 45 year olds with dad bods jealous, she said, "you have a bit of a dad bod." (I just came off a bulk in October before we started seeing each other and had been trying to recomp at maintenance while we were dating). Literally two days after I last saw her, I went on a cut and lost 7.8 lbs. And I was still in better shape than she was before I started cutting. She has a bit of a belly herself. She has loose skin because she lost like 100 lbs or some shit.
I went back on the apps but I can't be arsed to even reply to the women who have messaged me. I'm fucking done with dating. Women are awful. Sex is the most overrated shit on the planet. The amount of bullshit men are made to endure from women just to stick their cock in a pussy and coom in like two minutes. It's absurd. I've been going MGTOW for the past 47 days. While I bet she is riding the cock carousel. Even though I mog her looks wise and am 10 years younger than her. All because she has a vagina and men are thirsty simps. Women have value only because of their vagina. While men have to work hard to have value.
The blue pilled side of me and the red pill/black pill side of me is at war. A part of me thinks I was a jerk. I was in love with her. A part of me is like "yes alienfranco is back, let the hate flow through you."
On March 3rd she wanted me to treat her to dinner at a restaurant (Pickle Barrel) at the mall we were stopping by. Because money is tight for her because she has been unemployed for some months and is applying to get into a government grant funded re-training program in college. To date I never really beta provided for her. Like I've given her rides several times because she doesn't drive. I bought her tea a couple times. That kinda thing. We exchanged gifts with each other for Christmas and Valentine's. But I never treated her to dinner. Because Chad doesn't need to pay, why should I right? She even treated me to a movie once. And bought me some skin care product that cost like $16 CAD and I never reimbursed her for that (she didn't bring this up though). I'm 10 years younger than her (38M, 48F). I also am pretty sure I overheard her say, "do you wanna treat me the way that I treated you?" (as she has made me dinner plenty of times and treated me to a movie once at a discounted price. I think it was like $7.50 CAD + tax or something. And gave me that skincare product and didn't ask for money). She said the last part in a hushed passive aggressive type of tone. She even said we can do food court food if I want.
But I'm a gymcel who hadn't eaten protein all day at her apartment. Because she's a vegan. And the macros at the restaurant menus I looked at were dog shit. So I didn't feel like eating out. And would prefer to just get my protein at home later. She was cold towards me for most of the rest of the day after that because I didn't offer to treat her to dinner. She said that she wants fifty-fifty and is implying that I don't do my fair share. Even though I've given her rides and shit. And have helped her with her homework for that college program. And I had even agreed to go pick her up from Niagara Falls (that's far from Toronto) in the future in April when she comes back from her vacation in New Jersey seeing her adult daughter's family (including her grandchildren). Ultimately I didn't end up picking her up this month because we hadn't talked in 47 days. When I initiated sex before I left Sunday evening, she said that she had to go study, didn't have time for that. This was the first time she's ever turned me down for sex. Before I left she told her cat to say bye to me. And she gave me a good night kiss when I left. I decided not to text her when I got home. Which was the first time I didn't text her when I got home. And I didn't bother reaching out to her and she didn't reach out to me either. Then four days later Thursday night March 7th I get an email that she unshared her Apple Calendar with me.
Did I fuck up by not paying dinner for her and not reaching out to her after our last date? Is my brain just too poisoned by the red/black pill? Or did I make the right call? Was I being unfair to her? I used to be in my Golden Retriever energy and used to be taken advantage of by women as a beta buxx cuckold. But with her I was more in my black cat energy. I was totally done with dating before she approached me IRL at a meetup app and slid in my DMs.
One time back in December/January I casually glanced at her phone and saw she had 34 unread notifications on her meetup app. She later mentioned to me (without me asking) that lots of men on meetup app were messaging her. Then on the day we last saw each other I saw she was down to like 13, maybe 14 unread notifications on her meetup app. This woman used to worship me. Treat me like a Chad Incubus God. Be so gung ho to please me sexually. Everything. Told me she wishes she wasn't post menopausal because she wants to have my baby. That she loves me. That I'm sexy. That I was the best lover she ever had. No man has ever loved her the way I loved her she said before. And then when I saw her just turn cold and pull away from me, it was like bruh. I couldn't help but want to pull back from her. Makes me wonder how fake she was. Not that long ago she was telling me how great I was and now she switches up like this? Makes me wonder if she monkey branched to someone else or was fucking someone else. I looked at her sofa and noticed old stains on there. I never bothered to look at her sofa in detail before. The same sofa where we had fucked before multiple times. I was just way more alert now. This is a woman who told me that no man has ever liked going down on her, she told me I was the only man who liked going down on her. Talking about how all her exes were narcissists or assholes. Her baby daddy was charged with human trafficking.
She also showed me disrespect a couple times in the past. Back in late January she laughed when she saw that my short legs (I'm a 167cm turbo manlet) were hovering over the floor on the bus and she asked me if I can't even set my feet down on the floor of the bus. I showed her that I could. But that was very disrespectful for her to say that. And on Valentine's Day overhearing something the radio host said about Usher being in great shape for 45 years old, making 45 year olds with dad bods jealous, she said, "you have a bit of a dad bod." (I just came off a bulk in October before we started seeing each other and had been trying to recomp at maintenance while we were dating). Literally two days after I last saw her, I went on a cut and lost 7.8 lbs. And I was still in better shape than she was before I started cutting. She has a bit of a belly herself. She has loose skin because she lost like 100 lbs or some shit.
I went back on the apps but I can't be arsed to even reply to the women who have messaged me. I'm fucking done with dating. Women are awful. Sex is the most overrated shit on the planet. The amount of bullshit men are made to endure from women just to stick their cock in a pussy and coom in like two minutes. It's absurd. I've been going MGTOW for the past 47 days. While I bet she is riding the cock carousel. Even though I mog her looks wise and am 10 years younger than her. All because she has a vagina and men are thirsty simps. Women have value only because of their vagina. While men have to work hard to have value.
The blue pilled side of me and the red pill/black pill side of me is at war. A part of me thinks I was a jerk. I was in love with her. A part of me is like "yes alienfranco is back, let the hate flow through you."
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