Need suggestion or I'm finished

[HeavenHound]

Greetings,

I suppose a few of you might have seen my previous post which listed what happened to me.

I think I am officially going insane these days. People say it's over when they never had a beautiful face to begin with. Believe me, you can do a lot to improve.
But it's literally over for me. It's been 2 months since I've seen myself in the mirror since I'm scared of my reflection now. I have weird negative dreams and trouble sleeping at night.
I don't give a f*ck about what other people think but my face had a very personal connection with me.

I went to a maxillofacial surgeon who literally started pushing for a BSSO and said nothing about my concerns for reversing the atrophy.
I'm thinking, is it possible that a maxillofacial surgeon can rebuild my facial bones (jaw and cheekbones) somehow with distraction osteogenesis and bone grafting to how my original proportions were?
Can top suggested surgeons like Pagnoni or someone rebuild my face?
I unfortunately don't have the money for the process right now but might have it in 2 years I think.
The sad part is I don't even have pictures of my peak face as I used to mock people taking photos of themselves. The only picture I have is when I was 17 which does show some base but is not even close to my prime facial proportions.
I believe venting in this forum is keeping a tiny shred of my sanity alive.
Could someone in facial surgery guide me a little on what could be done?
I don't care how invasive?
Even if I die I believe dying during surgery would release me from this torment.

 

[Kroker]

What's your current base

 

[HeavenHound]

What's your current bas

What's your current base

I just looked at some people whose facial proportions who looksmaxxers set in high regard.
I used to look similar to the guy Archie, I might be getting the name wrong.

Now my mandible and cheekbones have shrunk.
The mandible used to be thicker and longer and sharper.
My chin has resorbed alongwith the mandible. Used to be thicker and with a sharp and delicate shape.
My face looks collapsed from the front with the orbitals looking kind of hollow and roundish now from the front?
My cheekbones have also lost both length and thickness with a lot of muscle loss on my face.
My masseter used to flex up till the eyes while talking which complimented the long forward growth of the face.
I'm basically a subhuman now.

 

[HeavenHound]

What's your current base

I'm 22-23 currently if that would help somewhat in surgery.
I think I'm insane now, a girl cold approached me in college too previous semester apparently because my former elite social status since my face is fucked up now anyways.
The sad part? I'm no longer part of the elite too. My family has lost their wealth and influence as well. My friends have also left me.
I'm a disgrace and a failure. My uncle used to call me a model as a compliment.
Now I'm a nobody.

 

[Snicket]

But it's literally over for me. It's been 2 months since I've seen myself in the mirror since I'm scared of my reflection now. I have weird negative dreams and trouble sleeping at night.

Can you show pics? It's difficult to believe it's really that bad.
I don't know your history.

 

[HeavenHound]

Can you show pics? It's difficult to believe it's really that bad.
I don't know your history.

I don't have a picture of my peak facial proportions but I do have one at 16 years of age.
It does show better than average facial proportions for a 16 year old so a trained eye might be able to catch the base. Even though the lighting is very bad and it was supposed to be a joke picture and is taken with a bad camera. Not to mention of my inferior right side while the left was my better side.

How do I show it to you since I don't want it to remain forever on looksmax.org?

 

[Snicket]

How do I show it to you since I don't want it to remain forever on looksmax.org?

You could DM it to me so it's private at least and delete it afterwards.
I'm a completely neutral observer here so I don't any vested interest in shitting on you or telling you what you want to hear.
If you do it, show me what you look like now vs then with good pictures so I can make a fair assessment.
If the photos are bad, it's just a waste of time.

 

[Kroker]

I'm 22-23 currently if that would help somewhat in surgery.
I think I'm insane now, a girl cold approached me in college too previous semester apparently because my former elite social status since my face is fucked up now anyways.
The sad part? I'm no longer part of the elite too. My family has lost their wealth and influence as well. My friends have also left me.
I'm a disgrace and a failure. My uncle used to call me a model as a compliment.
Now I'm a nobody.

What happened to leave this negative impact on your looks?