lucifer88
sex 卐 abuser
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2025
- Posts
- 2,832
- Reputation
- 2,805
I’ve been in a bunch of relationships, and something I’ve noticed over time is this weird pattern. It doesn’t matter how good things seem or how much you think it’s gonna last — if you’re neurodivergent, you kinda have to expect the relationship to end eventually. People just don’t have the empathy these days to actually try to understand you, or to slow down and wait for you. It’s easier for them to just go find someone “normal.” And that’s the part that hits the hardest. You have to work on your mental state before getting into anything serious, or it might fall apart no matter how hard you try. Someone I loved way too much replaced me with a guy who wasn’t better than me at anything… except being NT. And guess who she preferred. Lock in, buddy boyos
\> be me, 19 undiagnosed ADHD/Autism cocktail
\> think I’ve finally cracked the code on love
\> meet Sarah
\> she’s amazing, thinks my infodumps about Roman aqueducts are “endearing”
\> she doesn’t flinch when I have to put on noise-canceling headphones at a loud bar
\> she even asks what my “safe foods” are
\> this is it. The One. The hyperfixation is permanent.
\> months go by, things are legitimately great
\> but the ND brain gremlin is always whispering in the back of my head
\> “this is a temporary glitch in the simulation. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
\> then the Mask starts to slip
\> can’t maintain the “chill, funny, slightly quirky guy” persona 24/7
\> have a full shutdown after a stressful day at work, just stare at the wall for an hour
\> she tries to talk, I can barely form words
\> I see the confusion on her face. The first crack.
\> the “talks” begin
\> “I just feel like sometimes you’re not *present*.”
\> “It’s like you’re in your own world and I can’t reach you.”
\> try to explain the spoons theory, the social battery, the noise in my head
\> she nods, says she understands
\> but the look in her eyes says “I am trying to read a manual written in a language I don’t speak.”
\> the distance grows
\> my anxiety goes into overdrive, become clingy
\> textbook anxious attachment style, my dude
\> which of course makes her pull away faster
\> it’s a perfect, shitty feedback loop
\> she goes out with her friends more
\> comes home talking about this guy, Mark, from her spin class
\> “He’s just so *easy* to talk to.”
\> The Death Knell.
\> the breakup is inevitable
\> “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need someone… simpler.”
\> “I can’t keep trying to figure out what you need.”
\> The Empathy Gap. The final boss.
\> mope for a month, eat nothing but frozen pizza
\> finally check her IG
\> there he is. Mark.
\> not taller, not richer, not funnier
\> his entire personality is liking the Philadelphia Eagles and craft beer
\> but he’s… uncomplicated. Normie. NT.
\> the realization hits like a freight train
\> she didn’t trade up. She traded *across*.
\> for a model that didn’t require a unique charging cable and a 300-page instruction manual.
\> she preferred the guy who didn’t have to work to seem human.
\> the problem was never that I wasn’t good enough.
\> the problem was that I required a modicum of patience, and that was a currency she was all out of.
\> You can’t hate them for it. They just want a normal life.
\> But you gotta lock in, buddies.
\> Work on yourself first. Build a fortress around your brain that someone has to really, really want to get into.
\> Otherwise, they’ll always just go find the house with the open door and no locks.
\> be me, 19 undiagnosed ADHD/Autism cocktail
\> think I’ve finally cracked the code on love
\> meet Sarah
\> she’s amazing, thinks my infodumps about Roman aqueducts are “endearing”
\> she doesn’t flinch when I have to put on noise-canceling headphones at a loud bar
\> she even asks what my “safe foods” are
\> this is it. The One. The hyperfixation is permanent.
\> months go by, things are legitimately great
\> but the ND brain gremlin is always whispering in the back of my head
\> “this is a temporary glitch in the simulation. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
\> then the Mask starts to slip
\> can’t maintain the “chill, funny, slightly quirky guy” persona 24/7
\> have a full shutdown after a stressful day at work, just stare at the wall for an hour
\> she tries to talk, I can barely form words
\> I see the confusion on her face. The first crack.
\> the “talks” begin
\> “I just feel like sometimes you’re not *present*.”
\> “It’s like you’re in your own world and I can’t reach you.”
\> try to explain the spoons theory, the social battery, the noise in my head
\> she nods, says she understands
\> but the look in her eyes says “I am trying to read a manual written in a language I don’t speak.”
\> the distance grows
\> my anxiety goes into overdrive, become clingy
\> textbook anxious attachment style, my dude
\> which of course makes her pull away faster
\> it’s a perfect, shitty feedback loop
\> she goes out with her friends more
\> comes home talking about this guy, Mark, from her spin class
\> “He’s just so *easy* to talk to.”
\> The Death Knell.
\> the breakup is inevitable
\> “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need someone… simpler.”
\> “I can’t keep trying to figure out what you need.”
\> The Empathy Gap. The final boss.
\> mope for a month, eat nothing but frozen pizza
\> finally check her IG
\> there he is. Mark.
\> not taller, not richer, not funnier
\> his entire personality is liking the Philadelphia Eagles and craft beer
\> but he’s… uncomplicated. Normie. NT.
\> the realization hits like a freight train
\> she didn’t trade up. She traded *across*.
\> for a model that didn’t require a unique charging cable and a 300-page instruction manual.
\> she preferred the guy who didn’t have to work to seem human.
\> the problem was never that I wasn’t good enough.
\> the problem was that I required a modicum of patience, and that was a currency she was all out of.
\> You can’t hate them for it. They just want a normal life.
\> But you gotta lock in, buddies.
\> Work on yourself first. Build a fortress around your brain that someone has to really, really want to get into.
\> Otherwise, they’ll always just go find the house with the open door and no locks.
