E
Elias144
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2025
- Posts
- 170
- Reputation
- 169
The results are in.
My T levels: total 1400ng/dl and free 32 ng/dl
Every weekend my friends and I go out downtown. I'm partying and talking to all these girls and I'm like... I just don't care. I feel dead inside. On Halloween night I took so many drugs because I wanted to have fun so badly. I took fuckin 60mg of Adderall IR and 40mg of 7-OH (it's an opioid) just trying to kickstart my mood. Gave it about 3-4 hours and still felt like shit, so I started drinking as much as I could like 10 drinks in the span of 2 hours. The last straw was when HTB in a cheerleader costume approached me and started talking to me and I couldn't bring myself to care. Ended up having to spend the remainder of the night in a nearby park while I waited for my friends.
Anyway, Monday morning I got my bloodwork done. My T is fucking sky high. Prolactin and E2 are within normal limits. I still feel like shit. I have no motivation, no confidence, my energy is low, my recovery is shit. My erections are harder than steel but for some reason I feel no desire to fuck girls anymore all my spirit has evaporated.
Yeah this shit is so fucking bleak. I feel like I'm reaching uncharted territory when it comes to depression. I got a nice physique, I got bitches on my dick, I got high high T, I got money. I tried what feels like every single possible drug that exists: Nardil, Parnate, TCAs, opioids, amphetamines, ssri, psychedelics, dissociatives, gabaergics. Tried all this fuckin experimental shit like NSI-189, cerebrolysin, semax. Hormones like exogenous T, anavar, proviron, HGH.
Anyway maybe this can be a lesson to some of you. If you're extremely depressed and have that "what's the point" feeling, no amount of chemicals will save you. So maybe don't even waste your time and money on it. My next play is to larp as a vagabond for a few months to see if I can get enlightened or some shit. If that doesn't work, gonna have to look for a lobotomy.
My T levels: total 1400ng/dl and free 32 ng/dl
Every weekend my friends and I go out downtown. I'm partying and talking to all these girls and I'm like... I just don't care. I feel dead inside. On Halloween night I took so many drugs because I wanted to have fun so badly. I took fuckin 60mg of Adderall IR and 40mg of 7-OH (it's an opioid) just trying to kickstart my mood. Gave it about 3-4 hours and still felt like shit, so I started drinking as much as I could like 10 drinks in the span of 2 hours. The last straw was when HTB in a cheerleader costume approached me and started talking to me and I couldn't bring myself to care. Ended up having to spend the remainder of the night in a nearby park while I waited for my friends.
Anyway, Monday morning I got my bloodwork done. My T is fucking sky high. Prolactin and E2 are within normal limits. I still feel like shit. I have no motivation, no confidence, my energy is low, my recovery is shit. My erections are harder than steel but for some reason I feel no desire to fuck girls anymore all my spirit has evaporated.
Yeah this shit is so fucking bleak. I feel like I'm reaching uncharted territory when it comes to depression. I got a nice physique, I got bitches on my dick, I got high high T, I got money. I tried what feels like every single possible drug that exists: Nardil, Parnate, TCAs, opioids, amphetamines, ssri, psychedelics, dissociatives, gabaergics. Tried all this fuckin experimental shit like NSI-189, cerebrolysin, semax. Hormones like exogenous T, anavar, proviron, HGH.
Anyway maybe this can be a lesson to some of you. If you're extremely depressed and have that "what's the point" feeling, no amount of chemicals will save you. So maybe don't even waste your time and money on it. My next play is to larp as a vagabond for a few months to see if I can get enlightened or some shit. If that doesn't work, gonna have to look for a lobotomy.
