Rhinoplastyordie
Black friend so not racist
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2024
- Posts
- 1,716
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- 2,269
When I was roiding, I bought a dick extender off of amazon. I saw a few studies saying that if you wore it for eight hours a day for six months, you could gain an inch and a half of length.
I tried to wear it overnight but it kept coming off as I slept. So I tossed it, and forgot about it.
I had also forgotten about something else. The box that it came in.
It was a cardboard box, with a large logo emblazened across the front.
"DICK EXTENDER PRO"
it remained under my bed. When we were moving house, my mum said that they were going to take everything out from under my bed ( there's a load of shit under there ). I quickly locked in, and grabbed the box.
It's a long, convoluted story, but I arrived at the new house with the box in my pants.
Due to circumstances, I was gonna be living alone in the unfurnished house for a while. So I decided to use the main bathroom to have a piss, as it's by far the nicest.
I pulled the box out of my boxers and let it drop to the floor. It remained there, as I had no reason to get rid of it for now.
Or so I thought.
One day, nearing the end of my final school lesson, my phone buzzed. I pulled it from the pocket of my jeans and saw a whatsapp message that made my heart drop.
It was from my mother.
"Your dad's coming to drop off some stuff, he should be there at around 4:30"
SHIT!!
The train that I take doesn't deliver me home until around 5:15. I'm not wasting my money on a fucking taxi, and buses would take even longer than the train.
I call my mum.
"Could you ask Dad to pick me up from college? All the trains are cancelled."
She sniffed my bullshit like it was actual shit.
"What's going on (rhinoplastyordie)!"
I made up about three different excuses, all of them being slightly more flimsy than the last. She destroyed them like they were a peshwari naan on a rugby team curry night.
I had to come clean.
"There's something embarrassing in the bathroom that I don't want dad to see." I explained.
She began hounding me to tell her, saying that no matter what, she wouldn't think any less of me.
"It's... its a penis ... extender."
"OK."
" I bought it to use with the steroids"
She doesn't know about my steroid usage.
She thinks that I was considering taking them, but that I never did.
She was only slightly disgusted.
My brothers a faggot and she's found numerous sex toys in his room before.
I asked "how can I stop dad from finding it?"
We schemed, but we couldn't come up with anything but to tell him that I'd done a massive shit and forgotten to flush, so he should use another bathroom.
My dad is extremely homophobic as he's an iqminned turk, so for him to believe that both of his sons, his life's work, were gay would end him.
He basically disowned my brother and he would probably think that this was a sex toy.
When he discovered that I 'had plans' to roid, he said that getting better looking is 'only done by gay or bisexuality men'
He said OK and when I got home I binned that shit. Embarrassing as fuck though.
I tried to wear it overnight but it kept coming off as I slept. So I tossed it, and forgot about it.
I had also forgotten about something else. The box that it came in.
It was a cardboard box, with a large logo emblazened across the front.
"DICK EXTENDER PRO"
it remained under my bed. When we were moving house, my mum said that they were going to take everything out from under my bed ( there's a load of shit under there ). I quickly locked in, and grabbed the box.
It's a long, convoluted story, but I arrived at the new house with the box in my pants.
Due to circumstances, I was gonna be living alone in the unfurnished house for a while. So I decided to use the main bathroom to have a piss, as it's by far the nicest.
I pulled the box out of my boxers and let it drop to the floor. It remained there, as I had no reason to get rid of it for now.
Or so I thought.
One day, nearing the end of my final school lesson, my phone buzzed. I pulled it from the pocket of my jeans and saw a whatsapp message that made my heart drop.
It was from my mother.
"Your dad's coming to drop off some stuff, he should be there at around 4:30"
SHIT!!
The train that I take doesn't deliver me home until around 5:15. I'm not wasting my money on a fucking taxi, and buses would take even longer than the train.
I call my mum.
"Could you ask Dad to pick me up from college? All the trains are cancelled."
She sniffed my bullshit like it was actual shit.
"What's going on (rhinoplastyordie)!"
I made up about three different excuses, all of them being slightly more flimsy than the last. She destroyed them like they were a peshwari naan on a rugby team curry night.
I had to come clean.
"There's something embarrassing in the bathroom that I don't want dad to see." I explained.
She began hounding me to tell her, saying that no matter what, she wouldn't think any less of me.
"It's... its a penis ... extender."
"OK."
" I bought it to use with the steroids"
She doesn't know about my steroid usage.
She thinks that I was considering taking them, but that I never did.
She was only slightly disgusted.
My brothers a faggot and she's found numerous sex toys in his room before.
I asked "how can I stop dad from finding it?"
We schemed, but we couldn't come up with anything but to tell him that I'd done a massive shit and forgotten to flush, so he should use another bathroom.
My dad is extremely homophobic as he's an iqminned turk, so for him to believe that both of his sons, his life's work, were gay would end him.
He basically disowned my brother and he would probably think that this was a sex toy.
When he discovered that I 'had plans' to roid, he said that getting better looking is 'only done by gay or bisexuality men'
He said OK and when I got home I binned that shit. Embarrassing as fuck though.
