(PERSONAL/SERIOUS) yesterday I found out and was thinking about something very important

[hopecel]

Yesterday:

1. I found out that my favourite date in the year (I'm not making things up) is the date I was probably conceived on - that date is very important to me personally because a few years ago I experienced a spiritual awakening (again I'm not larping) on that exact date! Unbelievable!

Spoiler: .

Conception Calculator

Calculate the likely conception date from your due date.

www.yourduedate.com

2. I was thinking right after that, as if it was some kind of sign from the Universe, that my life is at a turning point and I don't have much time. An idea came to my mind that I should commit suicide on my birthday this year.
Imagine what a shock it would be for everyone in my life and maybe that's what I deep down want - to hurt that way those who don't pay attention to me.
But even if they did, I'd still be unhappy and confused in this world, without any real purpose. Not only because of unrequited love and emptiness but also because as I said, my life is at a turning point - I'm slowly becoming an oldcel.



So what I finally decided to do after those horrible thoughts and a lot of crying is: put 100% effort into all areas of my life until my birthday. This might (and might not) be the last year of my life. It doesn't necessarily mean I'll rope if I fail in getting my life perfectly in order by my birthday BUT if my life remains the same, monotonous and tedious as it is now - I'll probably off myself.

It's not just the years that passed, the biggest problem is that I haven't changed much about my life. And it's not just about looks - it's about what I do when I'm by myself. I feel like I'm in an endless loop of doing nothing and just consuming useless "content and knowledge" from the media.

I have to start a new life and erase everything that makes me feel like I'm the same miserable doomer from recent years. Maybe I will remain a depressed doomer but at least I will try finding my new self.


And always remember - life is short.
Carpe Diem. Memento mori.

- soon-to-be former user

 

[hopecel]

@Returnion @Youㅤ @Sick @STAMPEDE @Debetro

 

[klip11]

Larry Lowe's reaction when he sees @anthony111553 come into his cell:

 

[castizo_ascender]

Larry Lowe's reaction when he sees @anthony111553 come into his cell:

View attachment 3571728

larry lowe's rape mode is always on bhai

same with kevin massey's

 

[klip11]

larry lowe's rape mode is always on bhai

same with kevin massey's

Das rite

 

[Youㅤ]

Bro I feel literally the same from what u have described. I thought about suicide and how it might “hurt” my family and such (something I would like) but came up with the idea that I would instead create a change in my life more dramatic than my death would be. Basically the logic is that suicide is a desperate attempt to do something meaningful, but there’s more potential in life tho it can be harder.

Also this really weird I’ve been having a turning point in my life rn like rebelling against my family and feeling gigaempty and angry and then I check looksmax and see u tag me. Synchronicity. I checked that website to estimate conception date and today was in the range it estimated. Synchronicity.

I think that ur idea is really good. I’m not going to discourage u from suicide, that is not fixing anything. If u rope its cuz u failed to fix life, so obviously fixing life is what matters not “don’t rope” dogma. Maybe living life to the fullest thinking u might rope could be the pressure (and at same time release of distracting pressure about the entire future of life) that u need to fix something. Turning points are opportunities that should be taken.

It's not just the years that passed, the biggest problem is that I haven't changed much about my life. And it's not just about looks - it's about what I do when I'm by myself. I feel like I'm in an endless loop of doing nothing and just consuming useless "content and knowledge" from the media.

It’s cuz u don’t have a life, sadly enough. The internet is essentially a simulation. I have this struggle, I try to be “productive” but as my life is the internet this is just optimizing things like reading and notes and stuff. Optimized for the wrong thing, a man needs a family to feel satisfied. Property, a stable position that gives adequate power. All this content on the internet seems highly useful intellectually but it will never feel right inside.

I have to start a new life and erase everything that makes me feel like I'm the same miserable doomer from recent years. Maybe I will remain a depressed doomer but at least I will try finding my new self.

Change of environment seems inconvenient but it theoretically makes it more convenient to transform into a new man. I personally fear this too much at the moment, staying in my mom’s house is too convenient. But i see it keeps me underdeveloped.

I’ve been thinking about self identity and about reincarnation. Sometimes I feel selfless and that myself is an illusion, but I still mainly cope with trying to improve my ego. I think about reincarnation, and I’m convinced it’s true. but at the same time I can’t break attachment to this life and cope with godmaxxing.

 

[Copeamongcopers]

DNR, but looks worth reading. Will read later

 

[Debetro]

Тебя это дермо волнует? Меня нет. Меня волнует моя семья, моя карьера, мои деньги. Так что какая разница.

 

[Sick]

Brother, death will come either way, and no one in good faith will be able to tell you with certainty what happens after. So act on what you know, try and become or do things that will fufill or make you happy that dont involve putting you in a worse place, like killing dudes then going to jail or dying,

the only fufillment i ever found is becoming incompatible in how you see yourself now, looksmaxxing, or achieveing something deep down that you needed for yourself

 

[hopecel]

Bro I feel literally the same from what u have described. I thought about suicide and how it might “hurt” my family and such (something I would like) but came up with the idea that I would instead create a change in my life more dramatic than my death would be. Basically the logic is that suicide is a desperate attempt to do something meaningful, but there’s more potential in life tho it can be harder.

I feel like the only way for me to draw attention from certain people (not from my family, more likely from oneitis) is to commit suicide, that would be an event that would make me feel more special than being invisible when alive... when you're infatuated with somebody that person means everything to you so lack of her attention makes you feel miserable and unloved.

But I do agree with what you said, everyone has potential and could better his life instead of giving up on it - however - as I said, when you have oneitis, everything you do is for her and for her validation, not for your growth but for her recognition of your growth..

Also this really weird I’ve been having a turning point in my life rn like rebelling against my family and feeling gigaempty and angry and then I check looksmax and see u tag me. Synchronicity. I checked that website to estimate conception date and today was in the range it estimated. Synchronicity.

The Universe sometimes gives us very obvious signals we're not even aware of, or at least vast majority of us isn't

How could it be possible that my life technically started on the date I actually found myself years after? This couldn't be random, I know there's undiscovered knowledge behind our very existence in time and space. These wonders make me want to live because I'm curious about this reality..

I think that ur idea is really good. I’m not going to discourage u from suicide, that is not fixing anything. If u rope its cuz u failed to fix life, so obviously fixing life is what matters not “don’t rope” dogma. Maybe living life to the fullest thinking u might rope could be the pressure (and at same time release of distracting pressure about the entire future of life) that u need to fix something. Turning points are opportunities that should be taken.

The most dangerous man is the one who has nothing to lose. I wish I was aware of this earlier in my life.

It’s cuz u don’t have a life, sadly enough. The internet is essentially a simulation. I have this struggle, I try to be “productive” but as my life is the internet this is just optimizing things like reading and notes and stuff. Optimized for the wrong thing, a man needs a family to feel satisfied. Property, a stable position that gives adequate power. All this content on the internet seems highly useful intellectually but it will never feel right inside.

Right but I'm not just depressed about my present, I feel angry and disappointed at my past self but deep down I know the things could barely have ended up any better. Maybe I'm just destined to rot? Either way, lack of success in the past affects me now and makes me anxious about my future, which leads me to the ultimate solution of all problems - suicide.

Change of environment seems inconvenient but it theoretically makes it more convenient to transform into a new man. I personally fear this too much at the moment, staying in my mom’s house is too convenient. But i see it keeps me underdeveloped.

I’ve been thinking about self identity and about reincarnation. Sometimes I feel selfless and that myself is an illusion, but I still mainly cope with trying to improve my ego. I think about reincarnation, and I’m convinced it’s true. but at the same time I can’t break attachment to this life and cope with godmaxxing.

I didn't necessarily mean physical but more psychological changes but yeah, it would be great if I could afford such changes. Yet I'm not able to do so, for now. I actually think such changes are far more important, at least in my case.

 

[hopecel]

Тебя это дермо волнует? Меня нет. Меня волнует моя семья, моя карьера, мои деньги. Так что какая разница.

Ты слишком поверхностно смотришь на жизн.. Иногда ты не можешь контролировать свои эмоции, они контролируют тебя.

Brother, death will come either way, and no one in good faith will be able to tell you with certainty what happens after. So act on what you know, try and become or do things that will fufill or make you happy that dont involve putting you in a worse place, like killing dudes then going to jail or dying,

the only fufillment i ever found is becoming incompatible in how you see yourself now, looksmaxxing, or achieveing something deep down that you needed for yourself

As I said above, maybe my best weapon is the fact that I have nothing to lose.. nothing but my old self

 

[Petsmart]

Blud feels a connection to the day his dad stuck his meat in his mom

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

2. I was thinking right after that, as if it was some kind of sign from the Universe, that my life is at a turning point and I don't have much time. An idea came to my mind that I should commit suicide on my birthday this year.
Imagine what a shock it would be for everyone in my life and maybe that's what I deep down want - to hurt that way those who don't pay attention to me.

I have chronic pain from what seems to be some sort of chronic and rapid arthritis

Over this year I've gotten to the point It hurts to walk and I told my job to lower my hours, I hate being alive

I often think, my family lives on earth, and I live in hell

I fantasize about expressing that to them

But this.....

Imagine what a shock it would be for everyone in my life and maybe that's what I deep down want - to hurt that way those who don't pay attention to me.
But even if they did, I'd still be unhappy and confused in this world, without any real purpose.

Jesus what a bad person you are

All I think about is how I'd ruin everyone and my family would be destroyed

My brother wouldn't ever recover, my parents would have a dead and broken son

And you want them to feel bad

Listen the point isn't to make fun of you, I say this because I notice you sound really similar to my brother

1. Victimizing, from the way you speak I'm sure you perceive yourself to be some kind of victim

"I'll try for 1 year and if I still don't have everything ive ever wanted, guess I'll call it quits!"

2. The coincidences shit, I believe in importance of numbers and synchronicity and so does my brother but he's way more schizo and will actually see a number and decide to kill himself, or some stupid shit like thst

This just made me notice

But what my brothers problem is...

Get that fucking victim mindset out of your head. Very gross read.

You're nearly an OLDCEL as you said, and yours still blaming you parents? You still want them to feel bad for you?

Good god... I hate pity party motherfuckers like you.

Don't cope. Don't read this and just cope cope cope

You should not want people to feel bad for you unless you're suffering physically all the time, you're a MAN

I live in a torture chamber And I don't fucking ask for sympathy, I ask my mother to kindly schedule me an appointment with the rheumatologist

My mom accidentally sent me to the middle of no where the other day and j missed my appointment

I was pissed

I went home, I said it's okay, and moved along

I can just tell, your weasel ass, would instead try to EXTRACT SYMPATHY and regret from your mother

So angry you would need her to see it

You already said it with a slightly different context

Don't cope

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

Bro I feel literally the same from what u have described. I thought about suicide and how it might “hurt” my family and such (something I would like) but came up with the idea that I would instead create a change in my life more dramatic than my death would be. Basically the logic is that suicide is a desperate attempt to do something meaningful, but there’s more potential in life tho it can be harder.

Also this really weird I’ve been having a turning point in my life rn like rebelling against my family and feeling gigaempty and angry and then I check looksmax and see u tag me. Synchronicity. I checked that website to estimate conception date and today was in the range it estimated. Synchronicity.

I think that ur idea is really good. I’m not going to discourage u from suicide, that is not fixing anything. If u rope its cuz u failed to fix life, so obviously fixing life is what matters not “don’t rope” dogma. Maybe living life to the fullest thinking u might rope could be the pressure (and at same time release of distracting pressure about the entire future of life) that u need to fix something. Turning points are opportunities that should be taken.


It’s cuz u don’t have a life, sadly enough. The internet is essentially a simulation. I have this struggle, I try to be “productive” but as my life is the internet this is just optimizing things like reading and notes and stuff. Optimized for the wrong thing, a man needs a family to feel satisfied. Property, a stable position that gives adequate power. All this content on the internet seems highly useful intellectually but it will never feel right inside.

Change of environment seems inconvenient but it theoretically makes it more convenient to transform into a new man. I personally fear this too much at the moment, staying in my mom’s house is too convenient. But i see it keeps me underdeveloped.

I’ve been thinking about self identity and about reincarnation. Sometimes I feel selfless and that myself is an illusion, but I still mainly cope with trying to improve my ego. I think about reincarnation, and I’m convinced it’s true. but at the same time I can’t break attachment to this life and cope with godmaxxing.

Reincarnation is a high iq conclusion if you thought of it on your own

Proof of sentience

While retards believe what they are told to