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- Jan 24, 2021
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I am 26 years old and I am dealing with gender dysphoria and autogynephilia since I was 11 and slightly later I developed porn addiction as well. Mostly due to self insertion into lesbian porn, but to lesser extent also self insertion as the woman in straight porn and forced femme/sissy content. I thought that I would find peace 4 years ago when I meet my girlfriend and I got a lot better for like two years. I wasn't thinking about being a girl all the time, I could enjoy myself normally sexually for a time, despite still wasn't too fond of piv/penetration and my porn addiction waned. After a bit more then two years all of it escaleted again and I started No Fap in order to fix myself; I lasted 114 days of hard mode but it all ended in a mental break; after which I kind of admited to myself that I am dealing with gender dysphoria and started visiting a psychiatrist who specialise in sexuality and gender, but it is mostly useless and I haven't really got anything out of it, beside prescribed antidepressants. My doctor voiced oppinion that despite some of my gender confusion I stick fine to the male rolle which isn't exactly true as I barely functioning in everyday life and it isn't getting better. I have had discussed marriage & children with my girlfriend and honestly, I am affraid I will jealous of her since she will get to be wife & mommy. Right now I am again doing no porn/no fap, but I still have sex with my girlfriend and I need fantasies to finish, while I also tend to avoid sex at times, like right now. I don't feel anything worked for me so far, so I wander if anything else worked for you and if you have any adviced.