Post your favorite copypasta

[Neucher]

I need good ones

 

[overwhelmedcel]

My wife is trying for a baby with her boyfriend​

I'm a bit confused on how to deal with my situation. My wife has been in a relationship for a couple of years now and went through what was some very intense NRE. They both fell in love quite deeply and she wouldn't stop talking about him. Even I became good friends with her boyfriend and we hang out often together. I'm still pretty monogamous to her and haven't had much luck dating in the poly scene and gave up a year ago.
A few months ago, she decided to move in with him temporarily since she would spend most of her time with him and at his place anyway. I started to miss her and would try to get her to spend more time with me, but she would constantly talk about him when around with me or be on the phone texting him. She came up with the idea of spending a few months living with him so that she could get over the NRE.
After spending a few months living with him, she told me that she wanted to have a baby with him. We don't have our own child yet. I tried telling her that we could try for our own child, but she is insistent on having one with her boyfriend. She thinks that since she is living with him now, he is her primary partner. So far I have been supportive of her want for having a baby, but they(she and her boyfriend) have started telling other people of their baby plans. They have been together for a while and have their own friends circle with some common friends. I still feel quite uncomfortable when other people talk about my wife's baby plans around me or ask me how I feel about the whole thing. I've also been missing her quite a lot since she moved in with him, and do spend quite a lot of time at her boyfriend's place. But since they are trying for a baby, they are all over each other most of the time. Watching her do things with him that we haven't done(try for a baby), does make me feel a bit uncomfortable at times. Though I don't say anything to them, since I don't want her to start wanting privacy when I'm around.

 

[Esky1911]

TIFU by having dirrhea

this is my worse day ever. i borrowed my gf car coz my car is in workshop. just nowi was stuck in a jam and had dirrhea so the whole driver seat is soaked with poop right now. i have to return the car to her on friday, and i would like that she doesnt know it. this is so bad luck man, i dont even know what i do to deserve this zzz.

anyway i am in urgent need of solution to solve this problem right now. the car smell like serious poop super smelly even after i wipe and spray fabreeze, i think the poop has gone in the cushion already coz it is watery. i dont even know what i can do, whole car smell like poop haih.

what to do?

 

[zerotohero]

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.