F
failedmogger90
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2025
- Posts
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It’s over. Fully, permanently over.
I’ve been crushing on the same girl since grade 9. We’re in grade 12 now. She’s everything: beautiful, soft-spoken, athletic, kind — the kind of girl who doesn’t treat people like me like shit, even though she easily could.
I’m not delusional. I’m ugly, probably subhuman. Mild autism, zero status, no social skills. I’ve been laughed at behind my back for years. I see the glances. I hear the whispers. I’m a walking joke.
One day I had to give a presentation, and I was already being laughed at before I even started. I froze mid-sentence. Couldn’t breathe. Full panic attack. Just standing there like a broken NPC while people giggled.
And then she got up and walked me out of class. Quietly. Didn’t ask for attention. I overheard her friends say, “What are you doing?” — like they were shocked she was even acknowledging me. But she didn’t care. She asked if I was okay, if I had anxiety. I couldn’t even speak. I just cried in front of her.
Then she walked back into the classroom and told the teacher I couldn’t present today. No pity tone. No drama. Just calm and soft. I never forgot that moment.
She was the only one who treated me like a person. And because of that… I developed hope. The worst thing possible.
Weeks later, I asked her to prom. I didn’t mean to say it so loud — but it kind of slipped out and the whole class heard it. She just… nodded. Quietly. People stared. I thought for a second maybe this was it. Maybe my storyline had finally turned around.
But later, in private, she told me she only nodded so I wouldn’t get embarrassed in front of everyone. She’s actually going to prom with a Tyrone who treats her like shit. And yeah, I know this sub’s gonna roast me for this because y’all hate Black girls — but idc, I like her. She’s beautiful.
And it’s not just her looks. She’s got D1 track scholarships, drives a fuckin 2021 Jaguar F-Type, has rich parents, and never once made me feel like I was trash, even though she could’ve. She’s Stacy-tier in every way. And I’m just a ghost in the background.
No amount of looksmaxxing can close this gap. I’d have to moneymax, statumax, neurotypemax, and probably get facial reconstruction just to stand beside her without it looking like a charity project.
But even now — knowing all this — I still think about her.
And that’s what kills me.
Because she gave me hope. And hope is the most brutal cope of all.
I’m from toronto btw if anyone was wondering
I’ve been crushing on the same girl since grade 9. We’re in grade 12 now. She’s everything: beautiful, soft-spoken, athletic, kind — the kind of girl who doesn’t treat people like me like shit, even though she easily could.
I’m not delusional. I’m ugly, probably subhuman. Mild autism, zero status, no social skills. I’ve been laughed at behind my back for years. I see the glances. I hear the whispers. I’m a walking joke.
One day I had to give a presentation, and I was already being laughed at before I even started. I froze mid-sentence. Couldn’t breathe. Full panic attack. Just standing there like a broken NPC while people giggled.
And then she got up and walked me out of class. Quietly. Didn’t ask for attention. I overheard her friends say, “What are you doing?” — like they were shocked she was even acknowledging me. But she didn’t care. She asked if I was okay, if I had anxiety. I couldn’t even speak. I just cried in front of her.
Then she walked back into the classroom and told the teacher I couldn’t present today. No pity tone. No drama. Just calm and soft. I never forgot that moment.
She was the only one who treated me like a person. And because of that… I developed hope. The worst thing possible.
Weeks later, I asked her to prom. I didn’t mean to say it so loud — but it kind of slipped out and the whole class heard it. She just… nodded. Quietly. People stared. I thought for a second maybe this was it. Maybe my storyline had finally turned around.
But later, in private, she told me she only nodded so I wouldn’t get embarrassed in front of everyone. She’s actually going to prom with a Tyrone who treats her like shit. And yeah, I know this sub’s gonna roast me for this because y’all hate Black girls — but idc, I like her. She’s beautiful.
And it’s not just her looks. She’s got D1 track scholarships, drives a fuckin 2021 Jaguar F-Type, has rich parents, and never once made me feel like I was trash, even though she could’ve. She’s Stacy-tier in every way. And I’m just a ghost in the background.
No amount of looksmaxxing can close this gap. I’d have to moneymax, statumax, neurotypemax, and probably get facial reconstruction just to stand beside her without it looking like a charity project.
But even now — knowing all this — I still think about her.
And that’s what kills me.
Because she gave me hope. And hope is the most brutal cope of all.
I’m from toronto btw if anyone was wondering