PTSD Trauma enduced nightmare

[user91295912954]

Right now its 03:57 and I just woke up sweaty, lonely and scared from a dream that was induced by a IRL trauma that happened to me in the beginning of the year, basically i live alone w my mom and she got a high fever one day and had aphasia (condition where makes you speak nonsense) straight for 3 days while I took care of her until she collapsed and had a seizure and I had to call the EMTS and went to the hospital w her, my mom is a very mental health disturbed, negligent and literally useless person in society and has ruined me in unimaginable ways, that episode with the fever was literally because she couldn't take care of herself leading to what happened, my whole family lives in another city and living with this disturbed narcissistic deranged and out of society norms person has ruined my emotional and mental health more than anyone could ever imagine, but I still try to live a normal life outside of that and pretend it doesn't exist, I guess it's my form of coping since I can't remember big parts of my life due to trauma, it hurts seeing my dad and his perfect family every 2 weeks and remembering the times of when my mom was in the hospital and all I ever wanted was them to see my cries of help and how mistreated I was being at home and just take me in to their household, that didnt happen and here I am, 17 failing school failing at everything really in life and with a mom that doesn't have any financial or emotional support for me to start my life, for the past 10 years all I've ever wanted was to get out of this house and move city's so I can stay away forever, I turn 18 next year and if I don't leave this place by then I will possibly end it. I can't take it no more. I have to get fucking rich by next year to leave all this behind, but that still won't change the deep emotional trauma that will be scarred deep in me for the rest of my life, there is a big number of situations that are worse and totally my mothers fault that I won't describe in here, feel free to share your thoughts, support me or curse me it doesn't matter.

 

[estonianslayerr]

Stop placing such a high emphasis on the outcome.

Focus on the present by ammending your mental health, then the outcome (money sucess) will come.

I wish the best for you.

 

[user91295912954]

Stop placing such a high emphasis on the outcome.

Focus on the present by ammending your mental health, then the outcome (money sucess) will come.

I wish the best for you.

Thank you for the advice, it means a lot to me. Wish all the best for you too

 

[user91295912954]

Stop placing such a high emphasis on the outcome.

Focus on the present by ammending your mental health, then the outcome (money sucess) will come.

I wish the best for you.

Also, if you got any tips on how to improve my mental health and overcome the trauma it would be a big help

 

[Node]

Dn
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[Whiteboard7]

Right now its 03:57 and I just woke up sweaty, lonely and scared from a dream that was induced by a IRL trauma that happened to me in the beginning of the year, basically i live alone w my mom and she got a high fever one day and had aphasia (condition where makes you speak nonsense) straight for 3 days while I took care of her until she collapsed and had a seizure and I had to call the EMTS and went to the hospital w her, my mom is a very mental health disturbed, negligent and literally useless person in society and has ruined me in unimaginable ways, that episode with the fever was literally because she couldn't take care of herself leading to what happened, my whole family lives in another city and living with this disturbed narcissistic deranged and out of society norms person has ruined my emotional and mental health more than anyone could ever imagine, but I still try to live a normal life outside of that and pretend it doesn't exist, I guess it's my form of coping since I can't remember big parts of my life due to trauma, it hurts seeing my dad and his perfect family every 2 weeks and remembering the times of when my mom was in the hospital and all I ever wanted was them to see my cries of help and how mistreated I was being at home and just take me in to their household, that didnt happen and here I am, 17 failing school failing at everything really in life and with a mom that doesn't have any financial or emotional support for me to start my life, for the past 10 years all I've ever wanted was to get out of this house and move city's so I can stay away forever, I turn 18 next year and if I don't leave this place by then I will possibly end it. I can't take it no more. I have to get fucking rich by next year to leave all this behind, but that still won't change the deep emotional trauma that will be scarred deep in me for the rest of my life, there is a big number of situations that are worse and totally my mothers fault that I won't describe in here, feel free to share your thoughts, support me or curse me it doesn't matter.

I seems bad now but it will getting bhai. The reason your doing bad in school and in life is because of your life circumstances not because of your intelligence or effort. You are a smart person and a kind one you just got screwed over with your current situation, it isn't over though so don't worry.