Xangsane
la la la la la
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It was a typical busy afternoon at Walmart. The store was packed, with people bustling around, grabbing groceries and supplies for the week. The fluorescent lights illuminated every aisle, and the sound of shopping carts rolling over the tiled floor echoed through the massive space. Helene was with her mom, Francine, weaving in and out of aisles like a whirlwind as usual.
They had just wandered into the “Indian food” aisle, lined with bright red and yellow spice boxes and jars of curry paste. The shelves were stacked high, and the air was filled with the faint scent of exotic spices. As soon as Helene spotted the colorful packaging, her eyes lit up. Her brain, as it often did, made a strange connection between what was in front of her and her latest obsession: India and open defecation.
Francine was distracted, scanning the shelves for garam masala, while Helene stared wide-eyed at the labels. Then, in the way only a six-year-old could, Helene had an idea she thought was brilliant.
Helene: "Mom! MOM! Do you know what they do in India?"
Her voice grew loud, immediately drawing the attention of nearby shoppers, their curiosity piqued by the commotion in the normally quiet grocery section.
Francine: "Not now, Helene. Let me finish this, and we'll go."
But Helene wasn’t one to be brushed off. Her small frame puffed up with determination as she turned to face the other shoppers nearby.
Helene: "They POO in the streets in India! It’s called open defecation!"
A couple of people turned their heads, whispering to each other as they slowly edged away from the aisle. Francine froze, her hand hovering over a jar of curry paste as she realized where this was going.
Francine: "Helene, that's enough. Let’s go—"
Before Francine could finish her sentence, Helene’s eyes filled with excitement and mischief. Without warning, she dropped her pants right there in the middle of the aisle.
Helene: "MOM, LOOK! I’M SHITTING IN THE STREET! JUST LIKE THE PAJEETS!"
Francine gasped in horror, frozen in disbelief as other shoppers stood rooted to the spot, wide-eyed, as if they couldn’t comprehend what was happening in front of them. The brightly lit aisle, now an unintended stage, became the scene of an unspeakable act.
Right there, beneath the gleaming fluorescent lights, surrounded by shelves of spices and sauces, Helene squatted and began to poo on the floor. The absurdity of the scene left everyone momentarily paralyzed.
At the end of the aisle, a woman screamed, grabbing her child and covering their eyes. A Walmart employee, busy stocking nearby shelves, dropped his boxes in shock, his mouth agape as Helene proudly narrated her act of defiance.
Helene: "PAJEETS DO THIS EVERYWHERE! THEY DON’T EVEN USE TOILETS!"
The shoppers fled the aisle as the stench began to permeate the air, some of them pulling out their phones to record the chaos. A man nearby groaned in disgust, covering his nose as he muttered under his breath.
Man: "What in the world…?"
Francine, snapping out of her shock, rushed over to Helene, yanking her pants back up as she tried to scoop her up, her face beet-red with embarrassment.
Francine: "Helene! What are you doing?!"
But Helene was too far gone in her moment of glory.
Helene: "IT’S WHAT PAJEETS DO! IT’S NORMAL FOR THEM! THEY DON’T HAVE TOILETS LIKE WE DO!"
The Walmart employee, who had been standing in shocked silence, fumbled for his walkie-talkie, his hands trembling as he called for backup.
Walmart employee: "Uh, yeah, we’ve got a situation in Aisle 12… kid… um… pooing on the floor. Someone needs to get over here… quick."
Within minutes, a group of Walmart employees rushed to the scene, armed with mops, gloves, and buckets, while a crowd of shocked customers gathered at the edges of the aisle, filming the whole thing on their phones.
Francine, still mortified, carried Helene out of the store, her voice frantic as she apologized to anyone within earshot.
Francine: "I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into her."
As they left the store, Helene, still filled with pride, waved to the onlookers like a queen.
Helene: "BYE! OPEN DEFECATION IS THE FUTURE! JUST LIKE IN INDIA!"
The chaos didn’t end there. The next day, the story spread like wildfire. News outlets picked up the bizarre incident: "Local Girl Causes Chaos at Walmart by Defecating in Aisle, Claims It's 'Like India.'"
Viral videos showed Helene mid-rant, pants down, passionately talking about “Pajeets” and open defecation, while horrified shoppers fled the scene. News anchors struggled to contain their laughter as they played the footage on loop.
One clip even showed Francine’s mortified face as she desperately tried to pull her daughter out of the store, while Helene continued to shout about cow dung and Indian hygiene habits.
The incident became a viral sensation, inspiring memes, debates, and talk shows for days. People were baffled that a six-year-old could cause such an uproar with such specific knowledge of defecation habits halfway around the world.
And as for Helene? She basked in the attention. As far as she was concerned, she had made her point.
They had just wandered into the “Indian food” aisle, lined with bright red and yellow spice boxes and jars of curry paste. The shelves were stacked high, and the air was filled with the faint scent of exotic spices. As soon as Helene spotted the colorful packaging, her eyes lit up. Her brain, as it often did, made a strange connection between what was in front of her and her latest obsession: India and open defecation.
Francine was distracted, scanning the shelves for garam masala, while Helene stared wide-eyed at the labels. Then, in the way only a six-year-old could, Helene had an idea she thought was brilliant.
Helene: "Mom! MOM! Do you know what they do in India?"
Her voice grew loud, immediately drawing the attention of nearby shoppers, their curiosity piqued by the commotion in the normally quiet grocery section.
Francine: "Not now, Helene. Let me finish this, and we'll go."
But Helene wasn’t one to be brushed off. Her small frame puffed up with determination as she turned to face the other shoppers nearby.
Helene: "They POO in the streets in India! It’s called open defecation!"
A couple of people turned their heads, whispering to each other as they slowly edged away from the aisle. Francine froze, her hand hovering over a jar of curry paste as she realized where this was going.
Francine: "Helene, that's enough. Let’s go—"
Before Francine could finish her sentence, Helene’s eyes filled with excitement and mischief. Without warning, she dropped her pants right there in the middle of the aisle.
Helene: "MOM, LOOK! I’M SHITTING IN THE STREET! JUST LIKE THE PAJEETS!"
Francine gasped in horror, frozen in disbelief as other shoppers stood rooted to the spot, wide-eyed, as if they couldn’t comprehend what was happening in front of them. The brightly lit aisle, now an unintended stage, became the scene of an unspeakable act.
Right there, beneath the gleaming fluorescent lights, surrounded by shelves of spices and sauces, Helene squatted and began to poo on the floor. The absurdity of the scene left everyone momentarily paralyzed.
At the end of the aisle, a woman screamed, grabbing her child and covering their eyes. A Walmart employee, busy stocking nearby shelves, dropped his boxes in shock, his mouth agape as Helene proudly narrated her act of defiance.
Helene: "PAJEETS DO THIS EVERYWHERE! THEY DON’T EVEN USE TOILETS!"
The shoppers fled the aisle as the stench began to permeate the air, some of them pulling out their phones to record the chaos. A man nearby groaned in disgust, covering his nose as he muttered under his breath.
Man: "What in the world…?"
Francine, snapping out of her shock, rushed over to Helene, yanking her pants back up as she tried to scoop her up, her face beet-red with embarrassment.
Francine: "Helene! What are you doing?!"
But Helene was too far gone in her moment of glory.
Helene: "IT’S WHAT PAJEETS DO! IT’S NORMAL FOR THEM! THEY DON’T HAVE TOILETS LIKE WE DO!"
The Walmart employee, who had been standing in shocked silence, fumbled for his walkie-talkie, his hands trembling as he called for backup.
Walmart employee: "Uh, yeah, we’ve got a situation in Aisle 12… kid… um… pooing on the floor. Someone needs to get over here… quick."
Within minutes, a group of Walmart employees rushed to the scene, armed with mops, gloves, and buckets, while a crowd of shocked customers gathered at the edges of the aisle, filming the whole thing on their phones.
Francine, still mortified, carried Helene out of the store, her voice frantic as she apologized to anyone within earshot.
Francine: "I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into her."
As they left the store, Helene, still filled with pride, waved to the onlookers like a queen.
Helene: "BYE! OPEN DEFECATION IS THE FUTURE! JUST LIKE IN INDIA!"
The chaos didn’t end there. The next day, the story spread like wildfire. News outlets picked up the bizarre incident: "Local Girl Causes Chaos at Walmart by Defecating in Aisle, Claims It's 'Like India.'"
Viral videos showed Helene mid-rant, pants down, passionately talking about “Pajeets” and open defecation, while horrified shoppers fled the scene. News anchors struggled to contain their laughter as they played the footage on loop.
One clip even showed Francine’s mortified face as she desperately tried to pull her daughter out of the store, while Helene continued to shout about cow dung and Indian hygiene habits.
The incident became a viral sensation, inspiring memes, debates, and talk shows for days. People were baffled that a six-year-old could cause such an uproar with such specific knowledge of defecation habits halfway around the world.
And as for Helene? She basked in the attention. As far as she was concerned, she had made her point.
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