Question about traits of abnormal/toxic parenting

[getra]

I am curious as to what traits are associated with toxic and or abnormal parenting. Just want to figure out some issues whether it’s internalized or present at home.

 

[Deleted member 2403]

Greycel moment

 

[turkproducer]

well you learn from your parents behaviours, are they manipulative, do you come from a broken home, do they have trouble connecting with you

these are all issues which will translate into your later life. relationship with father is super important

 

[getra]

well you learn from your parents behaviours, are they manipulative, do you come from a broken home, do they have trouble connecting with you

these are all issues which will translate into your later life. relationship with father is super important

I’m cool with my dad for the most part but I feel like he has never taught me anything pertaining leadership. My mother has called me fat and useless numerous times throughout my teen years, has called most of my hobbies useless and a waste of time. Micromanages a lot (I.e telling me I cannot hang out with my friends because essentially they are all bad people). Has never been supportive tbh. But then on other days she will be the most loving mom in the world.

 

[getra]

well you learn from your parents behaviours, are they manipulative, do you come from a broken home, do they have trouble connecting with you

these are all issues which will translate into your later life. relationship with father is super important

It is frustrating when the people who birthed you and love you shit on you and teach you really nothing at the same time. I question whether it is my upbringing or maybe I’m just an unaware narcissist. This shit kills me.

 

[Deleted member 5048]

you just feel it in the air, but for example by how they look at you, how they judge you when they're honest, do they count with your opinion, are they trying to teach you something, you should sense if they're respecting you like you're another human or maybe they want to just use you for something and not care

 

[Gengar]

It is frustrating when the people who birthed you and love you shit on you and teach you really nothing at the same time. I question whether it is my upbringing or maybe I’m just an unaware narcissist. This shit kills me.

the fact youre getting affected by it shows youre not a narcissist in any way shape or form. idk maybe your mother suffers from bipolar depression, definitely not okay to call you useless etc its not what a mother or a father should say.

 

[Deleted member 4612]

I’m cool with my dad for the most part but I feel like he has never taught me anything pertaining leadership. My mother has called me fat and useless numerous times throughout my teen years, has called most of my hobbies useless and a waste of time. Micromanages a lot (I.e telling me I cannot hang out with my friends because essentially they are all bad people). Has never been supportive tbh. But then on other days she will be the most loving mom in the world.

yeah your mom is a fucking cunt, plain and simple. unfortunately for you, you can't slash her throat or else you'd end up in jail

my best recommendation is to learn to manipulate your mom somehow. don't develop empathy for that bitch, and call her out for her bullshit

 

[getra]

At the same time they spoil me when I insist not to. It feels like shit planning to work at something just to have it fall in your lap out of no where.

 

[Deleted member 4612]

At the same time they spoil me when I insist not to. It feels like shit planning to work at something just to have it fall in your lap out of no where.

the reason they are "spoiling" you, is because they want to manipulate you. they are buying you material things to get away with them treating you poor at an emotional level

 

[getra]

yeah your mom is a fucking cunt, plain and simple. unfortunately for you, you can't slash her throat or else you'd end up in jail

my best recommendation is to learn to manipulate your mom somehow. don't develop empathy for that bitch, and call her out for her bullshit

I can’t blame her she learned it from my grandmother tbh. From what my dad told me her upbringing was really rough. Prefer not to fight fire with fire especially with family tbh.

 

[Deleted member 4612]

I can’t blame her she learned it from my grandmother tbh. From what my dad told me her upbringing was really rough. Prefer not to fight fire with fire especially with family tbh.

lmao you cuck. you're just gonna take abuse because your mom did. you think it's okay she treats you like a punching bag?

you can blame her, she has agency, she doesn't have to treat you rough. it gives her no excuse to treat you like shit just because her mom treated her like shit. the fact your mom can't see that proves she is a fucking cunt

 

[getra]

the reason they are "spoiling" you, is because they want to manipulate you. they are buying you material things to get away with them treating you poor at an emotional level

I’m treated fairly well for the most part. I don’t really think it’s manipulation. They have this creed where they want to give their children everything because they had nothing. The problem is there is little to no independence or drive in me to achieve when everything is given.

 

[Deleted member 4612]

I’m treated fairly well for the most part. I don’t really think it’s manipulation. They have this creed where they want to give their children everything because they had nothing. The problem is there is little to no independence or drive in me to achieve when everything is given.

they give you everything? what about good treatment? if they're not treating you good, they aren't giving you everything

 

[getra]

they give you everything? what about good treatment? if they're not treating you good, they aren't giving you everything

I wish I was born into a normal family

 

[Deleted member 3591]

I’m cool with my dad for the most part but I feel like he has never taught me anything pertaining leadership. My mother has called me fat and useless numerous times throughout my teen years, has called most of my hobbies useless and a waste of time. Micromanages a lot (I.e telling me I cannot hang out with my friends because essentially they are all bad people). Has never been supportive tbh. But then on other days she will be the most loving mom in the world.

Maybe you are fat and useless and shes just not sugarcoating it

 

[getra]

Maybe you are fat and useless and shes just not sugarcoating it

Yeah because I disagreed with her lmfao

 

[getra]

Maybe you are fat and useless and shes just not sugarcoating it

Ironically enough I am fat and useless now after they convinced me to quit my jobs two years ago. Since then I’ve been spoiled.

 

[getra]

I fucked myself tbh regardless of everything this is my life and I ultimately fucked it as of now.

 

[Deleted member 4612]

Ironically enough I am fat and useless now after they convinced me to quit my jobs two years ago. Since then I’ve been spoiled.

that is brutal

you need to lose te weight quite frankly. start a diet of some sort

 

[getra]

that is brutal

you need to lose te weight quite frankly. start a diet of some sort

I’m like 170lb tbh but skinny fat so yeah.

 

[getra]

If I’m being used and essentially seen as a retard by my parents then honestly who is to blame. I’m so fucking slow. My perception of everything is so contorted. I actually feel like a fucking tool.

 

[getra]

the fact youre getting affected by it shows youre not a narcissist in any way shape or form. idk maybe your mother suffers from bipolar depression, definitely not okay to call you useless etc its not what a mother or a father should say.

My dad sent her to a psychiatrist years ago and they said she was mentally stable but imo she is clearly mentally off you are probably right about the bipolar part.

 

[getra]

Maybe if I wasn’t fucking ugly she wouldn’t be bipolar jfl. Done spamming I had to get this shit out my head.

 

[Gengar]

My dad sent her to a psychiatrist years ago and they said she was mentally stable but imo she is clearly mentally off you are probably right about the bipolar part.

sorry to hear about that buddy. hope you dont take it to heart. at least your dad is not like that.

 

[Gengar]

Maybe if I wasn’t fucking ugly she wouldn’t be bipolar jfl. Done spamming I had to get this shit out my head.

nah bro its got nothing to do with that. i have a prettyboy friend and even his mom doesnt shower him with love lol.

 

[RAITEIII]

If they're putting obstacles for u to success - toxic

If they're not helping you success CORRECTLY - toxic.

The only parents that arent toxic for me are white and good looking. They are chill as fuck and smart. And give u good Gene's too.

 

[Deleted member 8576]

yeah your mom is a fucking cunt, plain and simple. unfortunately for you, you can't slash her throat or else you'd end up in jail

caged.

 

[turkproducer]

I’m cool with my dad for the most part but I feel like he has never taught me anything pertaining leadership. My mother has called me fat and useless numerous times throughout my teen years, has called most of my hobbies useless and a waste of time. Micromanages a lot (I.e telling me I cannot hang out with my friends because essentially they are all bad people). Has never been supportive tbh. But then on other days she will be the most loving mom in the world.

sounds like she has a toxic personality, this can definitely damage you. it’s proven people with hot and cold parents can have problems in relationships/friendships

 

[getra]

sounds like she has a toxic personality, this can definitely damage you. it’s proven people with hot and cold parents can have problems in relationships/friendships

I’ve definitely had moments where I felt distrust and hostility towards my closest friends

 

[Deleted member 4797]

If they're not helping you success CORRECTLY - toxic.

Would you say parents are toxic for not giving their son bimax at 16, when he begged for it and became a shut-in due to his recessed jaws affecting his looks and sleep? This happened with me, and I just got told looks dont matter, they thought I was bullshitting about the terrible sleep to get free surgery. They told me to work and save up for it myself (I told them Im too depressed to even work, because of my lack of sleep and no positives in my life looking like this), it became a stalemate and they just let me rot for years, blaming me (when they are rich af, could easily afford me bimax).

Was I being a demanding spoilt kid, or were they wrong not to help me when they easily could've?

 

[RAITEIII]

Would you say parents are toxic for not giving their son bimax at 16, when he begged for it and became a shut-in due to his recessed jaws affecting his looks and sleep? This happened with me, and I just got told looks dont matter, they thought I was bullshitting about the terrible sleep to get free surgery. They told me to work and save up for it myself (I told them Im too depressed to even work, because of my lack of sleep and no positives in my life looking like this), it became a stalemate and they just let me rot for years, blaming me (when they are rich af, could easily afford me bimax).

Was I being a demanding spoilt kid, or were they wrong not to help me when they easily could've?

I cannot make that judgement for you. You're the only one who can know if them taking decisions that didn't contribute to your life was a one time thing or happened frequently.