realisation is the hardest part

[Deleted member 26824]

what a struggle to exist.
fuck
i thought i was special
i thought so much of me
i really thought i‘d grew up to be loved
or
atleast liked
or good looking

i am none of the above

i realised how subhuman i look
how over it is
everything makes sense now

i solved the puzzle and can answer every of my questions

i am not confused anymore

now yuo see

IM FUCKED
why exist if this is my existence

why sleep when there is nothing to wake up to

why cry when there are no emotions left inside of me

why live for tomorrow as if any of my yesterdays ever gonna change

feel like nobody i know can understand
i‘ve got nobody to talk about this neither
even if i did, i wouldnt

i dream about foids asking me if i rather would do lefort 2 or 3.
nothing makes sense, my dreams just consist of horror, random looksmaxes, or me killing myself

i dont think anyone ever liked me
dont know if anyone ever will

they say there is light at the end of the tunnel, but i have only seen the night

ive lost so many friends
everybody leaves me sooner or later
or
i leave

fuckfukczfkcufkczfkczkfzckfzckfuclcukdkfkdbspdsisj suspshsosbsos I JUST WANNA BE ALLOWED TO EXIST

im in an invisible cage. god looked at me and said: fuck this nigga hard and drop a quran quote on him to motivate him

all things one could be and i am none
all the things that can be done and i havent done anything

 

[Abhorrence]

 

[Deleted member 26824]

when i go to russia i just hope they send me to war, so i can die a meaningful death in my meaningless life

I see so many who have it worse but they feel completely diffrent.

how can they be happy?

how can they not see what i see

how can they deny evidence??

they just busy their minds with useless shit so they can avoid the brutal truth. not many who suffer from the truth can accept the truth

 

[Abhorrence]

when i go to russia i just hope they send me to war, so i can die a meaningful death in my meaningless life

I see so many who have it worse but they feel completely diffrent.

how can they be happy?

how can they not see what i see

how can they deny evidence??

they just busy their minds with useless shit so they can avoid the brutal truth. not many who suffer from the truth can accept the truth

i feel u

 

[BearBoy]

gnihtyna enod tnevah i dna enod eb nac taht sgniht eht lla
enon ma i dna eb dluoc eno sgniht lla

mih etavitom ot mih no etouq naruq a pord dna drah aggin siht kcuf :dias dna em ta dekool dog .egac elbisivni na ni mi

TSIXE OT DEWOLLA EB ANNAW TSUJ I sosbsoshspsus jsisdpsbdkfkdkuclcufkczfkczfkzckfzckfuckfzckufkcuf

evael i
ro
retal ro renoos em sevael ydobyreve
sdneirf ynam os tsol evi

thgin eht nees ylno evah i tub ,lennut eht fo dne eht ta thgil si ereht yas yeht

lliw reve enoyna fi wonk tnod
em dekil reve enoyna kniht tnod i

flesym gnillik em ro ,sexamskool modnar ,rorroh fo tsisnoc tsuj smaerd ym ,esnes sekam gnihton
.3 ro 2 trofel od dluow rehtar i fi em gniksa sdiof tuoba maerd i

tndluow i ,did i fi neve
rehtien siht tuoba klat ot ydobon tog ev‘i
dnatsrednu nac wonk i ydobon ekil leef

egnahc annog reve syadretsey ym fo yna fi sa worromot rof evil yhw

em fo edisni tfel snoitome on era ereht nehw yrc yhw

ot pu ekaw ot gnihton si ereht nehw peels yhw

ecnetsixe ym si siht fi tsixe yhw
DEKCUF MI

ees ouy won

eromyna desufnoc ton ma i

snoitseuq ym fo yreve rewsna nac dna elzzup eht devlos i

won esnes sekam gnihtyreve
si ti revo woh
kool i namuhbus woh desilaer i

evoba eht fo enon ma i

gnikool doog ro
dekil tsaelta
ro
devol eb ot pu werg d‘i thguoht yllaer i
em fo hcum os thguoht i
laiceps saw i thguoht i
kcuf
.tsixe ot elggurts a tahw

 

[Deleted member 26824]

everybody exists but me. nothing feels real

im afraid of death but im even more afraid of life

i tried to believe in god, i swear to god i did, but it just doesnt make any sense, if he exists why would he do this. there is no motive no sense just him saying lol

if god exist we‘re all fucked

i walk around sometimes

and i think to myself so many things

i discover things that have been discorverd already

everything i find has never been hidden. its all out there. every philosophical thought i had, i find somewhere, in some book.

nobody is original, its all repetitive. even the universe probably is. our lifes are. afterlife aswell. the key is having the positive repetitiveness, not the negativ

i envy the happy men. they are blind, they see a diffrent light than i do. i wanna show them. i want them to feel what they cant even imagine

asking myself why its mostly men that kill themself. i understand now. i would never take anyone right to end it.

anyone who roped only made it out his mental fuckery quicker than others did

because you cannot accept it
its impossible

there are only two ways out

fixing it
or
roping

 

[Deleted member 26824]

im forced to live against my own will
i dont wanna do this shit
if it wasnt for my family who hates me anyways, i‘d be dead already

 

[Deleted member 26824]

im gonna kill it one day
everything there is of it
nothings gonna be left

i‘ll escape
one way or another

 

[Abhorrence]

im gonna kill it one day
everything there is of it
nothings gonna be left

i‘ll escape
one way or another

ascend or die trying