[Remorse] I can't stop hating my girlfriend for having an orgasm with her rapist when she does NOT orgasm through PIV with me.

[ElySioNs]

I'm sure I'm the worst human being in existence, but I can't get over this. I love her so much but simultaneously hate her so much for this. I know it's not fair on her, she did not ask to be raped, but I hate how her body reacted. I wish she had never told me.

Let me start by saying me and my girlfriend had an amazing sex life, at least I thought we did? Although no matter what I did she would not cum through PIV alone. It takes A LOT of work to get her off, which I am happy to do because I love her.

A year ago my girlfriend went to a house party with some friends, got drunk, and when she went to go to the bathroom was dragged into a bedroom and raped. It wasn't violent she said. It was a guy who had been talking to her a lot that night although she told him she had a boyfriend. She said he kind of took her hand and pulled her into the room and tried to kiss her. She said she turned her head away and said no but he then pushed her onto the bed and lifted up her skirt. She said she was drunk so didn't fight him or scream but kept saying no and trying to move his hands away. After fingering her he fucked her really hard she said and she kept saying over and over again to stop. After a few minutes she said she started cumming pretty much as he did, and then she started crying. She said he pulled out, and then said "sorry" and left her crying.

She told me she was disgusted with herself for cumming, and although I have never said anything to her, so am I.

I mean, fucking seriously? It's impossible for me to get her off without some serious work, but this scum can do it after a few minutes with only his dick when she didn't even want it? I mean, a fucking rapist is better in bed for her than I am?

I mean, I'm in no way downplaying what happened to her. She was raped and has suffered greatly. She's been unable to work, still sees a therapist twice a week, but I can't get over the fact that on some level, she fucking loved it, and loved his cock inside her more than mine.

I love her, and will never tell her any of this, and will keep being there for her every day, but I just fucking hate her so much too? For making me feel inadequate. For not being enough for her when some stranger in the worst circumstances can be!

Sorry, I just needed to finally get this out as it's been eating me up and I needed to tell someone.

I hate myself for these thoughts, these feelings.

Thanks for reading.

 

[ElySioNs]

@baerr

 

[baerr]

OP I am sorry but this is disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You are literally blaming a rape victim for something they could NEVER control. You know what OP? Since you’re so insecure here’s a tip. BE BETTER. There’s a reason she came with the other guy but not with you. You should honestly worry about that much more than whatever your psychosis (yes, you show signs of paranoid schizophrenia) tells you. I hope this post gets downvoted to the ground. I am disgusted. Peace out.

 

[NoLongerHuman]

OP I am sorry but this is disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You are literally blaming a rape victim for something they could NEVER control. You know what OP? Since you’re so insecure here’s a tip. BE BETTER. There’s a reason she came with the other guy but not with you. You should honestly worry about that much more than whatever your psychosis (yes, you show signs of paranoid schizophrenia) tells you. I hope this post gets downvoted to the ground. I am disgusted. Peace out.

why u niggas talkin like this is reddit

 

[baerr]

why u niggas talkin like this is reddit

Because it’s a Reddit story and that’s the whole joke

 

[NoLongerHuman]

Because it’s a Reddit story and that’s the whole joke

reddit responses always cagefuel

 

[ElySioNs]

OP I am sorry but this is disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You are literally blaming a rape victim for something they could NEVER control. You know what OP? Since you’re so insecure here’s a tip. BE BETTER. There’s a reason she came with the other guy but not with you. You should honestly worry about that much more than whatever your psychosis (yes, you show signs of paranoid schizophrenia) tells you. I hope this post gets downvoted to the ground. I am disgusted. Peace out.

I do everything I can to make her orgasm, I go down on her every time and finger her everytime, not only that but I also wear penis sleeves and use her favorite dildos on her. It just frustates me that a literal rapist made her orgasm with his dick alone while I have to find the right spot with my fingers and tongue and even then, there is no guarantee. I have been trying something called penis sleeve which makes my penis bigger and my girlfriend has been reacting more, but I haven't been able to make her orgasm with that yet. I am just completely lost on what to do, was the rapis t better than me? If he is better, how? Like 2 days ago while I was having sex with my GF, she yelled out rapists name, that kinda killed the mood for but I kept on continuing and she orgasmed as she said that. Now I have been feeling more insecure, does she think about the rapist while having sex with me? And is the thought of that rapist so hot and sexy for her that she will orgasm shortly after yelling out his name? What do I lack, I do not get it I do everything I can, I pay all for our dates all for our bills and I do all the chores, I prepare the food while she watches TikToks

I am lost, I am sorry I think I was shaming her without me noticing, I have booked a theraphy session for paranoid schizophrenia I will try to fix that. This is a very emotional topic for me and it is a sensitive spot so I can get heated. With the help and suggestions of other fellow Redditors, I have decided I will buy shrooms for her and me to use in sex, I heard it increases adrenaline and makes vagina really sensitive.

Please do not downvote me, I am already in a very bad mood and I do not need something more.

 

[baerr]

I do everything I can to make her orgasm, I go down on her every time and finger her everytime, not only that but I also wear penis sleeves and use her favorite dildos on her. It just frustates me that a literal rapist made her orgasm with his dick alone while I have to find the right spot with my fingers and tongue and even then, there is no guarantee. I have been trying something called penis sleeve which makes my penis bigger and my girlfriend has been reacting more, but I haven't been able to make her orgasm with that yet. I am just completely lost on what to do, was the rapis t better than me? If he is better, how? Like 2 days ago while I was having sex with my GF, she yelled out rapists name, that kinda killed the mood for but I kept on continuing and she orgasmed as she said that. Now I have been feeling more insecure, does she think about the rapist while having sex with me? And is the thought of that rapist so hot and sexy for her that she will orgasm shortly after yelling out his name? What do I lack, I do not get it I do everything I can, I pay all for our dates all for our bills and I do all the chores, I prepare the food while she watches TikToks

I am lost, I am sorry I think I was shaming her without me noticing, I have booked a theraphy session for paranoid schizophrenia I will try to fix that. This is a very emotional topic for me and it is a sensitive spot so I can get heated. With the help and suggestions of other fellow Redditors, I have decided I will buy shrooms for her and me to use in sex, I heard it increases adrenaline and makes vagina really sensitive.

Please do not downvote me, I am already in a very bad mood and I do not need something more.

Atleast you’re trying to do something. Have you thought about actually being nice and caring? Your actions proof you’re doing the bare minimum, the guy who had sex with her probably just had a very nice personality (hence why they talked before it happened for so long) booking a therapy session is a good step (I guess?) but have you thought about what how selfish this actually is? No? I thought so. Can you be there for your gf when you are going to therapy? She could get raped again and this whole thing starts from all over again with your whiny ass complaining on Reddit that you are bad in bed and a bad person in general… whatever I hope your gf is well and can stand someone like you.

 

[ElySioNs]

Atleast you’re trying to do something. Have you thought about actually being nice and caring? Your actions proof you’re doing the bare minimum, the guy who had sex with her probably just had a very nice personality (hence why they talked before it happened for so long) booking a therapy session is a good step (I guess?) but have you thought about what how selfish this actually is? No? I thought so. Can you be there for your gf when you are going to therapy? She could get raped again and this whole thing starts from all over again with your whiny ass complaining on Reddit that you are bad in bed and a bad person in general… whatever I hope your gf is well and can stand someone like you.

Yes I tried being nice and caring, I do all the chores, and I cook for her she never cooks for me. I take her out on nice expensive dates, nice movies but it seems that was not enough. Maybe the problem is my personality i do not know, my mind hasn't been working properly due to shock of all this, i have been insecure and controlling i didn't let her go out with her friends and past FWB. She screamed at me for being insecure and that I am not a man. You made me realize something, I will definitely try to be less controlling