ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,149
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I'm sure I'm the worst human being in existence, but I can't get over this. I love her so much but simultaneously hate her so much for this. I know it's not fair on her, she did not ask to be raped, but I hate how her body reacted. I wish she had never told me.
Let me start by saying me and my girlfriend had an amazing sex life, at least I thought we did? Although no matter what I did she would not cum through PIV alone. It takes A LOT of work to get her off, which I am happy to do because I love her.
A year ago my girlfriend went to a house party with some friends, got drunk, and when she went to go to the bathroom was dragged into a bedroom and raped. It wasn't violent she said. It was a guy who had been talking to her a lot that night although she told him she had a boyfriend. She said he kind of took her hand and pulled her into the room and tried to kiss her. She said she turned her head away and said no but he then pushed her onto the bed and lifted up her skirt. She said she was drunk so didn't fight him or scream but kept saying no and trying to move his hands away. After fingering her he fucked her really hard she said and she kept saying over and over again to stop. After a few minutes she said she started cumming pretty much as he did, and then she started crying. She said he pulled out, and then said "sorry" and left her crying.
She told me she was disgusted with herself for cumming, and although I have never said anything to her, so am I.
I mean, fucking seriously? It's impossible for me to get her off without some serious work, but this scum can do it after a few minutes with only his dick when she didn't even want it? I mean, a fucking rapist is better in bed for her than I am?
I mean, I'm in no way downplaying what happened to her. She was raped and has suffered greatly. She's been unable to work, still sees a therapist twice a week, but I can't get over the fact that on some level, she fucking loved it, and loved his cock inside her more than mine.
I love her, and will never tell her any of this, and will keep being there for her every day, but I just fucking hate her so much too? For making me feel inadequate. For not being enough for her when some stranger in the worst circumstances can be!
Sorry, I just needed to finally get this out as it's been eating me up and I needed to tell someone.
I hate myself for these thoughts, these feelings.
Thanks for reading.
Let me start by saying me and my girlfriend had an amazing sex life, at least I thought we did? Although no matter what I did she would not cum through PIV alone. It takes A LOT of work to get her off, which I am happy to do because I love her.
A year ago my girlfriend went to a house party with some friends, got drunk, and when she went to go to the bathroom was dragged into a bedroom and raped. It wasn't violent she said. It was a guy who had been talking to her a lot that night although she told him she had a boyfriend. She said he kind of took her hand and pulled her into the room and tried to kiss her. She said she turned her head away and said no but he then pushed her onto the bed and lifted up her skirt. She said she was drunk so didn't fight him or scream but kept saying no and trying to move his hands away. After fingering her he fucked her really hard she said and she kept saying over and over again to stop. After a few minutes she said she started cumming pretty much as he did, and then she started crying. She said he pulled out, and then said "sorry" and left her crying.
She told me she was disgusted with herself for cumming, and although I have never said anything to her, so am I.
I mean, fucking seriously? It's impossible for me to get her off without some serious work, but this scum can do it after a few minutes with only his dick when she didn't even want it? I mean, a fucking rapist is better in bed for her than I am?
I mean, I'm in no way downplaying what happened to her. She was raped and has suffered greatly. She's been unable to work, still sees a therapist twice a week, but I can't get over the fact that on some level, she fucking loved it, and loved his cock inside her more than mine.
I love her, and will never tell her any of this, and will keep being there for her every day, but I just fucking hate her so much too? For making me feel inadequate. For not being enough for her when some stranger in the worst circumstances can be!
Sorry, I just needed to finally get this out as it's been eating me up and I needed to tell someone.
I hate myself for these thoughts, these feelings.
Thanks for reading.