BPMKNO
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title.
Requests from me: read fully pls, play “FML” by Kanye West while reading this shit, and pls reply with feed back thanks and hopefully u enjoy this retired shit
It’s all starts in the summer of 2021, I’m 12-13, 6th-7th grade and due to my absolute dogshit grades from 2020 due to pandemic, I go to summer
school. While in summer school I meet this girl by the name of Em (shortened for privacy reasons), first few things I notice about Em is that she
looks like a classmate I used to have (foreshadowing & important later in the story), she has a deeper voice than most, like Adriana Lima minus
accent, Latina but not like a hot Cheeto girl, small and petite (5’3-5’6) with bangs (I think, still don’t know to this day), seems friendly but def from a rougher part of the area, prob hood. So I start crushing
on her, some subconscious but I def feel it, also didn’t have a phone atp so I was cooked regardless, also find out other info (I’m autistic as shit)
like her name and I think tried to doxx her, would also see later on that (some fucking how) she was at least interested in me as a friend, she gave
me a few glances (out of interest) and even gave me a nickname in Spanish (no it not an insult or something like that). Continue going thru
summer school and on the final day heard that she’s moving out of the county and literally into the actual hood (also her dad drinks, had gotten arrested at least once, and doesn’t work), also think she was a lesbo because one of her male friends I guess showed her a pick of a girl and she called her fine or something along those lines.
After I’m done with summer school I feel empty and like I was left on a cliffhanger so I start feeling bad about it and missing her intensely,
I write down her full name and keep it in my wallet and keep trying to search for more information on her online but to no avail.
This is where the autism kicks in, i grew so attached to her from minimal and insignificant interactions, that for the next years I form decisions to
commemorate her memory.
Examples: she put her ringtone as #BrooklynBloodPop! and so I began to listen and love that song and every time I played it I thought of her,
Her phone was a iPhone 11 Product Red, so I wanted that as my first phone so bad, and etc.
I finally move on (at least I think I do) and developed a crush on the other girl I mentioned early that I said Em looked like, who went by the name
of Ang, (again shortened) but instead of forming even a some what new attachment with Ang, (my only other interaction/bond w her was when I brought a Vitamin C vape to school in 4th grade and she sat right next to me in which I began to literally go ham and vape all over the people and things near me and she didn’t like me or it at all)
I instead imported all of the memories and attributes from Em on to Ang, and began think about it like this.
For context abt Ang atp: She is same grade as me, same physical attributes as Em, quiet nvr said much at all, she doesn’t even remember me from 4th grade.
It begins in 2022 and I’m 13-14, all through min year 7th grades I began crushing hard and began acting like a thirsty retard ( atp I had practically became a rotting incel
i was on iFunny constantly, wasn’t really nt, yet still had friends from elementary school, suffered with porn and masterbation addiction
(subconsciously) depressed, stoped taking care of my self, like showering and caring about what I wear and if it was clean, actually addicted to caffeine ( had a bin full of like 28 cans of energy drink from C4 to Bang), and would constantly game all day (fav was Warzone 1 and Fallout 4, also cause I was orbiting a girl on iFunny and she liked Fallout 4)
She finds me weird (obviously) and just ignores me all through 7th grade, also I still don’t have a phone.
Now 8th grade is where shit starts to change, I buy a phone finally and discover the RedPill, I began tossing bad habits and replacing them with
better habits, began gymcelling (stopped and currently 5’11 at 15), got rid of my PS4 (horrible decision), and began focusing on my life. And which
I also count in her as a factor and begin losing weight and used her as motivation (sort of), but still haven’t made a move after having a crush on
her for about 9 months and still just weirdly staring at her. Nothing progresses (I lose like 20 pounds (220-200 lbs at 5’9)) and still haven’t
interacted with her, until one fateful day, before winter break.
I talk to my friend at his locker when Ang and her friend pass me and all I hear is “oh yeah, I don’t really like him” so vividly, it wrecked my day and
while on winter break I reflect on it and try to move on. Cut back to the end of winter break and I move on (or at least act like it) to her, I began
avoiding her, stop looking at her and act like I move on, but while on winter break she (I guess) developed feelings for me and began staring at me
out of interest but I already decided that I would miss her anymore and it seems to be working kind of (I didn’t after all), but I still try to find out stuff
about her like that: she’s sped too, might explain quietness, keeps wearing masks as much as possible, often came in late around lunchtime, 10:50 am, has minimal friends and is also quite mysterious, etc.
Eventually she moves away and this is when I realize I fucked up and fucked myself over, got sad a bit and didn’t date anyone or try to, and
reminisce and wonder about her all the time, but 100% over her atp, guess it’s the mens first love theory but still love her, pray for her and wish her the best, and realized I was in the wrong solely. To this day (15) I still haven’t had a girlfriend, or even a first kiss (it’s over)
Tldr: read it nigga
What do y’all think tho, pls reply I want your feed back, anyone had summ similar or am I just a really special case
Thanks - BPMKNO
Requests from me: read fully pls, play “FML” by Kanye West while reading this shit, and pls reply with feed back thanks and hopefully u enjoy this retired shit
It’s all starts in the summer of 2021, I’m 12-13, 6th-7th grade and due to my absolute dogshit grades from 2020 due to pandemic, I go to summer
school. While in summer school I meet this girl by the name of Em (shortened for privacy reasons), first few things I notice about Em is that she
looks like a classmate I used to have (foreshadowing & important later in the story), she has a deeper voice than most, like Adriana Lima minus
accent, Latina but not like a hot Cheeto girl, small and petite (5’3-5’6) with bangs (I think, still don’t know to this day), seems friendly but def from a rougher part of the area, prob hood. So I start crushing
on her, some subconscious but I def feel it, also didn’t have a phone atp so I was cooked regardless, also find out other info (I’m autistic as shit)
like her name and I think tried to doxx her, would also see later on that (some fucking how) she was at least interested in me as a friend, she gave
me a few glances (out of interest) and even gave me a nickname in Spanish (no it not an insult or something like that). Continue going thru
summer school and on the final day heard that she’s moving out of the county and literally into the actual hood (also her dad drinks, had gotten arrested at least once, and doesn’t work), also think she was a lesbo because one of her male friends I guess showed her a pick of a girl and she called her fine or something along those lines.
After I’m done with summer school I feel empty and like I was left on a cliffhanger so I start feeling bad about it and missing her intensely,
I write down her full name and keep it in my wallet and keep trying to search for more information on her online but to no avail.
This is where the autism kicks in, i grew so attached to her from minimal and insignificant interactions, that for the next years I form decisions to
commemorate her memory.
Examples: she put her ringtone as #BrooklynBloodPop! and so I began to listen and love that song and every time I played it I thought of her,
Her phone was a iPhone 11 Product Red, so I wanted that as my first phone so bad, and etc.
I finally move on (at least I think I do) and developed a crush on the other girl I mentioned early that I said Em looked like, who went by the name
of Ang, (again shortened) but instead of forming even a some what new attachment with Ang, (my only other interaction/bond w her was when I brought a Vitamin C vape to school in 4th grade and she sat right next to me in which I began to literally go ham and vape all over the people and things near me and she didn’t like me or it at all)
I instead imported all of the memories and attributes from Em on to Ang, and began think about it like this.
For context abt Ang atp: She is same grade as me, same physical attributes as Em, quiet nvr said much at all, she doesn’t even remember me from 4th grade.
It begins in 2022 and I’m 13-14, all through min year 7th grades I began crushing hard and began acting like a thirsty retard ( atp I had practically became a rotting incel
i was on iFunny constantly, wasn’t really nt, yet still had friends from elementary school, suffered with porn and masterbation addiction
(subconsciously) depressed, stoped taking care of my self, like showering and caring about what I wear and if it was clean, actually addicted to caffeine ( had a bin full of like 28 cans of energy drink from C4 to Bang), and would constantly game all day (fav was Warzone 1 and Fallout 4, also cause I was orbiting a girl on iFunny and she liked Fallout 4)
She finds me weird (obviously) and just ignores me all through 7th grade, also I still don’t have a phone.
Now 8th grade is where shit starts to change, I buy a phone finally and discover the RedPill, I began tossing bad habits and replacing them with
better habits, began gymcelling (stopped and currently 5’11 at 15), got rid of my PS4 (horrible decision), and began focusing on my life. And which
I also count in her as a factor and begin losing weight and used her as motivation (sort of), but still haven’t made a move after having a crush on
her for about 9 months and still just weirdly staring at her. Nothing progresses (I lose like 20 pounds (220-200 lbs at 5’9)) and still haven’t
interacted with her, until one fateful day, before winter break.
I talk to my friend at his locker when Ang and her friend pass me and all I hear is “oh yeah, I don’t really like him” so vividly, it wrecked my day and
while on winter break I reflect on it and try to move on. Cut back to the end of winter break and I move on (or at least act like it) to her, I began
avoiding her, stop looking at her and act like I move on, but while on winter break she (I guess) developed feelings for me and began staring at me
out of interest but I already decided that I would miss her anymore and it seems to be working kind of (I didn’t after all), but I still try to find out stuff
about her like that: she’s sped too, might explain quietness, keeps wearing masks as much as possible, often came in late around lunchtime, 10:50 am, has minimal friends and is also quite mysterious, etc.
Eventually she moves away and this is when I realize I fucked up and fucked myself over, got sad a bit and didn’t date anyone or try to, and
reminisce and wonder about her all the time, but 100% over her atp, guess it’s the mens first love theory but still love her, pray for her and wish her the best, and realized I was in the wrong solely. To this day (15) I still haven’t had a girlfriend, or even a first kiss (it’s over)
Tldr: read it nigga
What do y’all think tho, pls reply I want your feed back, anyone had summ similar or am I just a really special case
Thanks - BPMKNO
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