Detona
Kraken
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SHOCK CLAIM: Private researchers from the Ayn Rand Institute say they have collected DNA from the tomb of Jesus Christ in Israel, revealing the shepherd king had sparkling blue eyes and European hair texture!
The claims have caused uproar in the scientific community, which has long held that Jesus Christ must have been a short brown man with kinky hair and large lips.
But private investigators say they have obtained DNA from the burial site of Jesus, which they say proves that the prophet was, in fact, a flea-bitten mongrel.
The revelation has generated shock and awe throughout the devoutly Christian United States, with many Christian killing themselves spontaneously, while some white Americans are rejoicing over the reconstruction which they say vindicates long-held traditional beliefs that Jesus Christ was white.
"The reconstruction accurately reveals the sparkling blue eyes and fine hair texture of our Prophet", said Leslie Cochran, 62, vice-chancellor of the National Socialist Children of Atlantis Wellness Center in Oak Sands, California.
But members of the scientific community are not so sure.
"You cannot make assumptions with a sample size of just 1 body of Jesus", opined one scientist, who chose to remain anonymous on fear of being targetted by mob violence.
Ayn Rand Institute spokesperson George Cleever holds the skull which was removed from the Tomb of Jesus Christ in Israel
"You would need to get at least 500 bodies of Jesus and get their DNA, before you could say definitively that he was white."
Nevertheless, the Christian community remains unwavering in their conviction that the image is what the Son of God actually looked like.
READ MORE:
The claims have caused uproar in the scientific community, which has long held that Jesus Christ must have been a short brown man with kinky hair and large lips.
But private investigators say they have obtained DNA from the burial site of Jesus, which they say proves that the prophet was, in fact, a flea-bitten mongrel.
The revelation has generated shock and awe throughout the devoutly Christian United States, with many Christian killing themselves spontaneously, while some white Americans are rejoicing over the reconstruction which they say vindicates long-held traditional beliefs that Jesus Christ was white.
"The reconstruction accurately reveals the sparkling blue eyes and fine hair texture of our Prophet", said Leslie Cochran, 62, vice-chancellor of the National Socialist Children of Atlantis Wellness Center in Oak Sands, California.
But members of the scientific community are not so sure.
"You cannot make assumptions with a sample size of just 1 body of Jesus", opined one scientist, who chose to remain anonymous on fear of being targetted by mob violence.
Ayn Rand Institute spokesperson George Cleever holds the skull which was removed from the Tomb of Jesus Christ in Israel
"You would need to get at least 500 bodies of Jesus and get their DNA, before you could say definitively that he was white."
Nevertheless, the Christian community remains unwavering in their conviction that the image is what the Son of God actually looked like.
READ MORE:
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