Should this be my only goal (other than losing 150 pounds) getting to see me oneitis smile at me and with me..

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Floou

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What other goals you think I should have or is this good enough ? There’s not much to life rn other than that. I’ll do everything to see her smile at me, with me, and in bed one day.. then while she’s at the hospital giving birth.. smiling at me.. although I might be setting my standards down for her since she’s flat and 5’0.. she’s just really charming I don’t know.. her resting bitch face.. turning into a smile.. I look at that face turning into her smile, her skull so small and small ears.. and her small petite body that any man could carry.. I could do a lot to her.. but i shouldn’t get to thinking of that.. too inappropriate. I usually don’t think lustfully of her like this but I do need to put some steam off.. just these 6 months, darling.. and then my lust can go fully away
 

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shut the fuck up please
Please don’t be rude to me.. I hate it when I see normies being so rude to me.. you don’t know what I’m going through. Nobody does! Please don’t be so rude when you know nothing of what this little boy is going through.. I see people like you at school, hanging out w their friends.. “muh body count muh first time” why do you people talk about the girls you’ve fucked like this! It’s infuriating .. my first time will be with someone I love.. like this girl I’m putting my whole life to at this very moment
 
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Please don’t be rude to me.. I hate it when I see normies being so rude to me.. you don’t know what I’m going through. Nobody does! Please don’t be so rude when you know nothing of what this little boy is going through.. I see people like you at school, hanging out w their friends.. “muh body count muh first time” why do you people talk about the girls you’ve fucked like this! It’s infuriating .. my first time will be with someone I love.. like this girl I’m putting my whole life to at this very moment
NIGGGERR 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
 
Please don’t be rude to me.. I hate it when I see normies being so rude to me.. you don’t know what I’m going through. Nobody does! Please don’t be so rude when you know nothing of what this little boy is going through.. I see people like you at school, hanging out w their friends.. “muh body count muh first time” why do you people talk about the girls you’ve fucked like this! It’s infuriating .. my first time will be with someone I love.. like this girl I’m putting my whole life to at this very moment
I see my oneitis as a chance to get back to my childhood.. make friends with the people I couldn’t gotten along with.. although I’ve never interacted w them.. it was hard because they had their own little friend group, yet I was so reachable to them yet not so reachable.. I had acquaintances that could’ve gotten me to be their friends.. even had this guy who was everybody’s best friend.. or so I thought? I just seen him going to lunch by himself , I’m sure it was an off day.. he was interactive with everyone..

I’ve gotten acquaintances that wanted to help me yet I didn’t want their help.. why? I wanted them to come to me, I think.. I was hoping for the one to come and help me.. I’ve had 2 people like this, the guy and this girl.. I rejected the guys help because I want a girl to save me.. I got one but she looked fake and acted faked so I told her to leave me.. I didn’t want superficial help..

God, were these the only resource you’ve had that you could use to help me? The other friends you’ve bestowed to me, made fun of me, although nice.. ig. I think I’ve weirded this other certain girl out by saying “im masturbating” to get her to leave me alone.. why did I push her off as well. It was 2021-22.. she didn’t had much friends at the time then abandoned me when we got back to school, w her new friend group.. and 6 ft boyfriend..

I’ve hoped for the one to come to me yet that never happened.. so I’ll become the one for everyone.. once I lose this weight..

People want you to be nice yet people need you to be kind.. I’ll be the one to be kind, not superficial but real.. this reminds of that song of Kendrick Lamar “real” or whatever it’s called.. yes I’m real.. I’m real.. that’s my song.. even though I don’t listen to the other lyrics.
 
I see my oneitis as a chance to get back to my childhood.. make friends with the people I couldn’t gotten along with.. although I’ve never interacted w them.. it was hard because they had their own little friend group, yet I was so reachable to them yet not so reachable.. I had acquaintances that could’ve gotten me to be their friends.. even had this guy who was everybody’s best friend.. or so I thought? I just seen him going to lunch by himself , I’m sure it was an off day.. he was interactive with everyone..

I’ve gotten acquaintances that wanted to help me yet I didn’t want their help.. why? I wanted them to come to me, I think.. I was hoping for the one to come and help me.. I’ve had 2 people like this, the guy and this girl.. I rejected the guys help because I want a girl to save me.. I got one but she looked fake and acted faked so I told her to leave me.. I didn’t want superficial help..

God, were these the only resource you’ve had that you could use to help me? The other friends you’ve bestowed to me, made fun of me, although nice.. ig. I think I’ve weirded this other certain girl out by saying “im masturbating” to get her to leave me alone.. why did I push her off as well. It was 2021-22.. she didn’t had much friends at the time then abandoned me when we got back to school, w her new friend group.. and 6 ft boyfriend..

I’ve hoped for the one to come to me yet that never happened.. so I’ll become the one for everyone.. once I lose this weight..

People want you to be nice yet people need you to be kind.. I’ll be the one to be kind, not superficial but real.. this reminds of that song of Kendrick Lamar “real” or whatever it’s called.. yes I’m real.. I’m real.. that’s my song.. even though I don’t listen to the other lyrics.
Although me setting my standards low for my oneitis just for me to be kind to everyone seems a little off to me.. it rubs me off the wrong way.. though I do find her cute.. will I dump her once I’ve proven to be so kind and then move on? Do I just want a chance for my childhood back and then leave it once I’ve fulfilled it?
 

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