Shrooms trip realization.

[MoggerGaston]

Realization is that my whole life seems like one big trauma response. All my behavior, thoughts, feelings, is just coping with trauma and triggers

jfl honestly.

I have no real power or agency in my normal life. I am not above anything or anyone.

i need to regain control over who I am and where I am heading.

I float through life so carelessly

and then life passes me by

 

[MoggerGaston]

shizo posting time while high asf on drugs

 

[BigBiceps]

 

[MoggerGaston]

drugs saved my life

the story they dont tell you

 

[TechnoBoss]

drugs saved my life

the story they dont tell you

How are they saving your life if they just cover up pain and boredom? Why not replace drugs with something that truly fulfills your life? I used to drug cope too. Just gotta get motivation to fix your problems naturally cause drugs will fuck your life up it only ever made mine worse.

 

[Tai Lung]

How are they saving your life if they just cover up pain and boredom? Why not replace drugs with something that truly fulfills your life? I used to drug cope too. Just gotta get motivation to fix your problems naturally cause drugs will fuck your life up it only ever made mine worse.

impossible to have motivation to do boring shit like - working

 

[MoggerGaston]

How are they saving your life if they just cover up pain and boredom?

because living in pain and boredom is hell. it's a life not worth living.

Why not replace drugs with something that truly fulfills your life?

This question is insane. Were stuck in this machine, in this zoo. How can we find fulfilment in it?

I used to drug cope too. Just gotta get motivation to fix your problems naturally cause drugs will fuck your life up it only ever made mine worse.

I have a lot of motivation and energy left in me still. But I have no fulfilling outlet for it.


struggle. How did you get out?

 

[Hardrada]

I thought it said shroom tip realization and this thread was gonna be about you realising that the tip of your penis is shaped like a shroom

 

[MoggerGaston]

jfl at being abused as a child.
never began


I am zoo animal to people who weren't abused as children.

 

[TechnoBoss]

because living in pain and boredom is hell. it's a life not worth living.

This question is insane. Were stuck in this machine, in this zoo. How can we find fulfilment in it?

I have a lot of motivation and energy left in me still. But I have no fulfilling outlet for it.


struggle. How did you get out?

Well to be honest with you, I understand life feeling like some kind of normie purgatory.

I didn't truly get out yet. What made me stop originally was getting robbed for over 28g of blow by my best friend at the time. He drugged me with xanax laced with something and stole basically all my product. I almost died from whatever was in it. Then I fucked up with my GF and she saw me on dating apps and broke up with me, and I started going completely overboard with drugs. Smoking crack, doing what little blow I had left without trying to bother making my $ back. I was never sleeping and I was just going fucking crazy. The only thing that really made me stop was running out of money. I didn't care about life anymore tbh.

In a way, I'm glad I got robbed because then when my GF broke up with me, I didn't have enough drugs or money to kill myself with tbh. Now I only cope with alcohol, and phenibut. Phenibut is my god send drug when I have it. It does everything I need it to do, making me overall not sober enough to where I get bored with life. Alcohol is awesome too, but my reaction to it can vary. Sometimes I get incredibly sad off it, and other times I just feel OK.

Overall what I'm trying to say is that it's hard to be completely sober yeah but don't overdo the drugs and don't do too many. Just cut down and slowly replace the drugs with anything else, even gaming and eating tbh. I've gained like 30 pounds from when I stopped doing drugs. I've gotten into DJing and I find that to be a really creative and good outlet for my energy. Now I make money off that, but I don't feel the need to buy drugs with my income.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Well to be honest with you, I understand life feeling like some kind of normie purgatory.

I didn't truly get out yet. What made me stop originally was getting robbed for over 28g of blow by my best friend at the time. He drugged me with xanax laced with something and stole basically all my product. I almost died from whatever was in it. Then I fucked up with my GF and she saw me on dating apps and broke up with me, and I started going completely overboard with drugs. Smoking crack, doing what little blow I had left without trying to bother making my $ back. I was never sleeping and I was just going fucking crazy. The only thing that really made me stop was running out of money. I didn't care about life anymore tbh.

absolutely fucked. you ever met your best friend again? confronted him?

it doesnt even really matter in the end does it.

In a way, I'm glad I got robbed because then when my GF broke up with me, I didn't have enough drugs or money to kill myself with tbh. Now I only cope with alcohol, and phenibut. Phenibut is my god send drug when I have it. It does everything I need it to do, making me overall not sober enough to where I get bored with life. Alcohol is awesome too, but my reaction to it can vary. Sometimes I get incredibly sad off it, and other times I just feel OK.

everyone copes with alcohol to varying degrees, if that's all you do sounds like you got life reasonably figured out.

Overall what I'm trying to say is that it's hard to be completely sober yeah but don't overdo the drugs and don't do too many. Just cut down and slowly replace the drugs with anything else, even gaming and eating tbh. I've gained like 30 pounds from when I stopped doing drugs. I've gotten into DJing and I find that to be a really creative and good outlet for my energy. Now I make money off that, but I don't feel the need to buy drugs with my income.

yeah you're right.

i should just start doing more stuff in general. Even if it's boring, so is sitting in my room so idk.

 

[sorrowfulsad]

Realization is that my whole life seems like one big trauma response. All my behavior, thoughts, feelings, is just coping with trauma and triggers

jfl honestly.

I have no real power or agency in my normal life. I am not above anything or anyone.

i need to regain control over who I am and where I am heading.

I float through life so carelessly

and then life passes me by

I have this realization a lot & I took shrooms a week ago aswell and it really fucks me up how different my life would be if my mother didn't abuse me, all the shit Ive been through and all the mistakes I made

how to fix this abused dog mindset

 

[TechnoBoss]

absolutely fucked. you ever met your best friend again? confronted him?

it doesnt even really matter in the end does it.

everyone copes with alcohol to varying degrees, if that's all you do sounds like you got life reasonably figured out.


yeah you're right.

i should just start doing more stuff in general. Even if it's boring, so is sitting in my room so idk.

No never seen him again. I was going to do something to him, but I'm friends with his mom and I couldn't bare doing something to hurt his Mom she didn't do anything. Doesn't deserve to lose her son or w/e or something. Life is too valuable, even if that life belongs to a scumbag who will kill his best friend for maybe $2k. He's living a shitty life anyway. His sister died from an overdose, he did heroin ever since he was 12, in and out of jail, etc. He's gotta answer for himself at the end of the day. I wish there was a God for situations like this, truly. I believe he ended up moving. I saw a for sale sign on his house a while back, but I don't go over there much. It might have been sold already.

You're right it doesn't really matter in the end what he says. 100%

I cope with alcohol too much when I can. I drink 1.75l in 2 days easily. It's way too much, but I have too high of a tolerance. I barely feel the effects anymore. But I haven't been working, so I'm dead broke and can't even afford liquor tbh.

It's all about re-programming your brain. It's similar to the process of getting addicted to drugs, but just in reverse. Of course I'm not naive. If you did really hard stuff, the cravings might never go away. Just about pre occupying yourself with things that aren't drugs. I know I sound like some drugs anonymous counselor or something I'm not trying to. I just know that doing drugs wasted years of my life and I kinda regret it. I regret being so open to shit and having too much balls instead of brains tbh.

Abused Dog Syndrome is the real cause of drug abuse though, and that's something most people on this forum have from years of problems when they're younger.

 

[wollet2]

its over

 

[MoggerGaston]

No never seen him again. I was going to do something to him, but I'm friends with his mom and I couldn't bare doing something to hurt his Mom she didn't do anything. Doesn't deserve to lose her son or w/e or something. Life is too valuable, even if that life belongs to a scumbag who will kill his best friend for maybe $2k. He's living a shitty life anyway. His sister died from an overdose, he did heroin ever since he was 12, in and out of jail, etc. He's gotta answer for himself at the end of the day. I wish there was a God for situations like this, truly. I believe he ended up moving. I saw a for sale sign on his house a while back, but I don't go over there much. It might have been sold already.

You're right it doesn't really matter in the end what he says. 100%

yeah, he'll likely self-destruct.

Reminds me of this 1 old guy with his tractor in Poland. We were building a fence around our land and he wasn't too happy about it because he used to drive over our land for a small shortcut.

One day in rage, he simply drove over our fence with his tractor and destroyed it.
2 days later he got a heart attack and died.

these people take themselves out with their anger/emotions, tbh. self-destruction

I cope with alcohol too much when I can. I drink 1.75l in 2 days easily. It's way too much, but I have too high of a tolerance. I barely feel the effects anymore. But I haven't been working, so I'm dead broke and can't even afford liquor tbh.

1.75l of pure alcohol? or you mean like 1.75L of wine?

It's all about re-programming your brain. It's similar to the process of getting addicted to drugs, but just in reverse. Of course I'm not naive. If you did really hard stuff, the cravings might never go away. Just about pre occupying yourself with things that aren't drugs. I know I sound like some drugs anonymous counselor or something I'm not trying to. I just know that doing drugs wasted years of my life and I kinda regret it. I regret being so open to shit and having too much balls instead of brains tbh.

Abused Dog Syndrome is the real cause of drug abuse though, and that's something most people on this forum have from years of problems when they're younger.

oh it's not about drugs for me, I don't really have cravings.

I just find life boring, like I am watching a movie, playing a game, dating, etc. The depression just makes everything feel pointless.

Like it's there in the back of my mind saying: 'Yeah nice date man, cute girl, she likes you. But you are still the ugly loser that you always were. She will find out and dump you. You aren't good enough. Don't think you deserve to appreciate this moment, you and I both know your life is shit and will always be shit'


type vibe. its fucked tbh. but with alcohol/drugs I can numb my brain and not overthink like that, enjoy the moment.

 

[Sprinkles]

u should do dmt

 

[Ricky212]

Jfl how do you use this site on shrooms it was so bad vibes here ruined my mood

 

[TechnoBoss]

yeah, he'll likely self-destruct.

Reminds me of this 1 old guy with his tractor in Poland. We were building a fence around our land and he wasn't too happy about it because he used to drive over our land for a small shortcut.

One day in rage, he simply drove over our fence with his tractor and destroyed it.
2 days later he got a heart attack and died.

these people take themselves out with their anger/emotions, tbh. self-destruction


1.75l of pure alcohol? or you mean like 1.75L of wine?


oh it's not about drugs for me, I don't really have cravings.

I just find life boring, like I am watching a movie, playing a game, dating, etc. The depression just makes everything feel pointless.

Like it's there in the back of my mind saying: 'Yeah nice date man, cute girl, she likes you. But you are still the ugly loser that you always were. She will find out and dump you. You aren't good enough. Don't think you deserve to appreciate this moment, you and I both know your life is shit and will always be shit'


type vibe. its fucked tbh. but with alcohol/drugs I can numb my brain and not overthink like that, enjoy the moment.

He'll take himself out soon enough. That story with the old man and the tractor is exactly what I think will happen to this guy. Maybe not be tomorrow, maybe not in a week, but in due time.

1.75l of 40% vodka bro. I have a huge trash bag FILLED with these bottle in a room in my house. I was going crazy with the drinking. Most I've ever finished in one day was almost a full 1.75l but the world was sideways before I could finish it so I laid down.

Life will feel almost like a game sometimes, but that's a symptom of de-personalization I think. You almost don't feel real and you feel like you have this way of understanding life that normal people don't get. Not to make it sound edgy or something, but that's how I felt for the longest time. Do you ever consider that drugs are maybe contributing to that mental state and making everything boring? I mean, that is the point of drugs, right? Being high is always INHERENTLY better than being sober, so everything will be boring by comparison. Nothing can really match those feelings naturally.

The negative thoughts you have about yourself I honestly can't really explain. It could be a symptom of being told that throughout childhood, so you never got past it. A.D.S (abused dog syndrome) never truly goes away I suppose.

I don't blame you for wanting to do drugs to numb shit tbh I do the same with alcohol now. It's fucked. I can't be 100% sober I don't see a point to living without SOMETHING. I still haven't worked past my issues or drug addiction really.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Jfl how do you use this site on shrooms it was so bad vibes here ruined my mood

I ignore 95% of the content and make my own topics/posts.

During the peak I was just dancing or laying on my bed listening to this:

 

[Ricky212]

I ignore 95% of the content and make my own topics/posts.

During the peak I was just dancing or laying on my bed listening to this:

Relatable I just drive in GTA listening to music, until I get bored of that

 

[TechnoBoss]

I ignore 95% of the content and make my own topics/posts.

During the peak I was just dancing or laying on my bed listening to this:

Off topic, but this is the kinda shit I DJ. I love techno, hence the forum name. Good taste.



Was listening to this set earlier today.

 

[MoggerGaston]

He'll take himself out soon enough. That story with the old man and the tractor is exactly what I think will happen to this guy. Maybe not be tomorrow, maybe not in a week, but in due time.

1.75l of 40% vodka bro. I have a huge trash bag FILLED with these bottle in a room in my house. I was going crazy with the drinking. Most I've ever finished in one day was almost a full 1.75l but the world was sideways before I could finish it so I laid down.

Yeah that's a lot, I get the vibe tbh. You just pass out and wake up the next day, and you at least get to feel chill and relaxed cuz of the alcohol.
An evening for me starts with alcohol/junk-food. Then once I have had a few glasses I am like: 'oh I am feeling better now, lets feel even better' and then I start snorting mephedrone. And then when that gets boring I add some ketamine to the mix too.

Life will feel almost like a game sometimes, but that's a symptom of de-personalization I think. You almost don't feel real and you feel like you have this way of understanding life that normal people don't get. Not to make it sound edgy or something, but that's how I felt for the longest time. Do you ever consider that drugs are maybe contributing to that mental state and making everything boring? I mean, that is the point of drugs, right? Being high is always INHERENTLY better than being sober, so everything will be boring by comparison. Nothing can really match those feelings naturally.

I can relate to de-personalization. At least for me it means that you are not living in the moments with your emotion? But that you are sorta living in your brain in 'your separate world' and interacting with the outside world from that framework. With a very limited emotional response to your environment.

I was already depressed before I started using drugs ~1 year ago. I don't really think it contributes to my depression significantly. And with the right drugs when I am not over-doing it, some days, I think it actually alleviates my depression for days afterwards.
Like I have this one amazing day on drugs, and then the days afterwards (when I am not using drugs), I am like: 'Damn I had an amazing time that day, maybe life isn't so bad after all.' I feel very positive, till it falls back to some depressed baseline days later.

I am not depressed because of the drugs, but it's a valid question whether or not drugs are stopping me from getting better and curing my depression.
Like, I can keep going on like this for years, decades maybe. And life is 'manageable' this way because I can get my fun. But if I didn't have drugs, I would be FORCED to make changes because life would be unbearable. Sorta that vibe. The drugs/alcohol allow you to cope with your shitty life/brain, and therefore you aren't forced to change your shitty life/brain.

The negative thoughts you have about yourself I honestly can't really explain. It could be a symptom of being told that throughout childhood, so you never got past it. A.D.S (abused dog syndrome) never truly goes away I suppose.

Oh for sure.

You have to know I was an ugly subhuman in my youth. Obese, unathletic, bullied.
I fixed all that, even got to the point I was extremely athletic a few years ago and part of a top rowing fraternity. But I could never 'vibe' with who I was, I still was and am the same obese subhuman I was as a child. I never considered myself athletic.
Same with dating. I consider myself a fraud because girls found me ugly as a child, so when a girl flirts with me now, I don't take it seriously. I actually feel like I am being made fun of, that it's a fake compliment, etc.

fucked. abused dog syndrome indeed

I don't blame you for wanting to do drugs to numb shit tbh I do the same with alcohol now. It's fucked. I can't be 100% sober I don't see a point to living without SOMETHING. I still haven't worked past my issues or drug addiction really.

have you tried anti-depressants?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Off topic, but this is the kinda shit I DJ. I love techno, hence the forum name. Good taste.



Was listening to this set earlier today.

Chill music. You DJ at local venues? We have a local minimal techno label/group here, it's quite good. Like 10 DJs in it, they meet-up and organize events, etc.

I love to go to small local venues with local DJs, usually some 100-200 people there.

But it has to be somewhat dark and focussed on dancing, when it's too bright and people socialize too much, it sucks since I always go out alone and just dance on my own while doing drugs lol.

 

[MoggerGaston]

going to a techno party tonight, doing MDMA.

shouldnt have cross-tolerance with shrooms so I am good.

 

[TechnoBoss]

Yeah that's a lot, I get the vibe tbh. You just pass out and wake up the next day, and you at least get to feel chill and relaxed cuz of the alcohol.
An evening for me starts with alcohol/junk-food. Then once I have had a few glasses I am like: 'oh I am feeling better now, lets feel even better' and then I start snorting mephedrone. And then when that gets boring I add some ketamine to the mix too.


I can relate to de-personalization. At least for me it means that you are not living in the moments with your emotion? But that you are sorta living in your brain in 'your separate world' and interacting with the outside world from that framework. With a very limited emotional response to your environment.

I was already depressed before I started using drugs ~1 year ago. I don't really think it contributes to my depression significantly. And with the right drugs when I am not over-doing it, some days, I think it actually alleviates my depression for days afterwards.
Like I have this one amazing day on drugs, and then the days afterwards (when I am not using drugs), I am like: 'Damn I had an amazing time that day, maybe life isn't so bad after all.' I feel very positive, till it falls back to some depressed baseline days later.

I am not depressed because of the drugs, but it's a valid question whether or not drugs are stopping me from getting better and curing my depression.
Like, I can keep going on like this for years, decades maybe. And life is 'manageable' this way because I can get my fun. But if I didn't have drugs, I would be FORCED to make changes because life would be unbearable. Sorta that vibe. The drugs/alcohol allow you to cope with your shitty life/brain, and therefore you aren't forced to change your shitty life/brain.



Oh for sure.

You have to know I was an ugly subhuman in my youth. Obese, unathletic, bullied.
I fixed all that, even got to the point I was extremely athletic a few years ago and part of a top rowing fraternity. But I could never 'vibe' with who I was, I still was and am the same obese subhuman I was as a child. I never considered myself athletic.
Same with dating. I consider myself a fraud because girls found me ugly as a child, so when a girl flirts with me now, I don't take it seriously. I actually feel like I am being made fun of, that it's a fake compliment, etc.

fucked. abused dog syndrome indeed

have you tried anti-depressants?

Yeah exactly I don't know when to stop because I can drink a lot and still not feel drunk, or get sick. I don't get hangovers either. Although I was getting this weird symptom where I would get nauseous when I wasn't drinking. That goes away after like a week without drinking, but it's still weird.

At least for me it means that you are not living in the moments with your emotion? But that you are sorta living in your brain in 'your separate world' and interacting with the outside world from that framework. With a very limited emotional response to your environment.

Yeah that's a way I can describe it. Emotions used to feel forced back in the day like I didn't have an actual emotional reaction to anything it was almost like my emotional response to any social situation was completely stunted. Took a lot to make me laugh, never wanted to interact with anyone. I felt like an alien. I don't necessarily feel that way anymore, but I still sometimes have these kinds of out of body experiences where like you said, I feel like I'm in my own separate world. Feels really weird.

Like I have this one amazing day on drugs, and then the days afterwards (when I am not using drugs), I am like: 'Damn I had an amazing time that day, maybe life isn't so bad after all.' I feel very positive, till it falls back to some depressed baseline days later.

I feel this way too but then the day after or so, my brain adjusts again and I get depressed. Cant ever match that "maybe life isn't so bad" feeling off of drugs nowadays. When you're young you feel like happiness isn't that hard to achieve. Overtime and with age, it feels more and more hopeless.

Like, I can keep going on like this for years, decades maybe. And life is 'manageable' this way because I can get my fun. But if I didn't have drugs, I would be FORCED to make changes because life would be unbearable. Sorta that vibe. The drugs/alcohol allow you to cope with your shitty life/brain, and therefore you aren't forced to change your shitty life/brain.

You could keep going on like this, but to be honest it's just not sustainable. For your brains health, for your wallet, for really anything. I don't know what you do for work, but drugs get expensive lol. At the rate you or I did them at, it can burn a hole in your wallet real fast.

And yeah I had the same problem for a while. I grew up knowing a lot of people, but none of them were really my friends. Didn't really fit in and didn't do well with girls REALLY until I was like 18. Lost v-card at 15 but that doesn't mean anything really. Acted weird and wasn't great looking so I had to throw myself in the fire and do some exposure therapy and eventually I somewhat got over my ADS.

Never considered jew pharma though tbh that will just make me dependent on pills and won't allow my brain to adjust naturally. This is basically exactly what I'm trying to avoid with real drugs that would actually make a difference as opposed to (((pharmaceuticals))) Anti depressants are just band aids covering up the real issue. Like you wouldn't put a band aid on a gunshot wound and expect it to get fixed, right? You're just covering it up. Gotta close the gunshot wound.

 

[TechnoBoss]

Chill music. You DJ at local venues? We have a local minimal techno label/group here, it's quite good. Like 10 DJs in it, they meet-up and organize events, etc.

I love to go to small local venues with local DJs, usually some 100-200 people there.

But it has to be somewhat dark and focussed on dancing, when it's too bright and people socialize too much, it sucks since I always go out alone and just dance on my own while doing drugs lol.

Yeah man I've DJed at two real clubs before but they expect me to play hip hop. I've never gotten a chance to play actual techno at a club because tbh, the techno scene in NYC is virtually non-existent. I much prefer small venues with not a lot of people to party in, not even to DJ at. Even for a DJ though, huuge crowds can be intimidating I think. Biggest crowd I ever played for was in this club called Amadaeus and it was packed prolly around 200 people in the entire club on a Saturday (which is honestly a lot when you're there)

Yeah needs to be dark for sure. I love dancing. I just cant dance to hip hop. I can shuffle though lol.

going to a techno party tonight, doing MDMA.

shouldnt have cross-tolerance with shrooms so I am good.

Drugs that affect your serotonin will usually have some degree of cross tolerance. Be safe though bro and have fun. Drink a lot of water too! Post an update on the party, maybe take a few pics for .org lol - I've never done MDMA but I've done everything else. I've had chances to do it, but I always thought it was too neurotoxic and I said I was good. I bet candyflipping is nice, but even regular acid can be too much sometimes. Sometimes you just want it to end lol who's got time to be tripping for 8 hours basically unable to really do anything normal?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Yeah exactly I don't know when to stop because I can drink a lot and still not feel drunk, or get sick. I don't get hangovers either. Although I was getting this weird symptom where I would get nauseous when I wasn't drinking. That goes away after like a week without drinking, but it's still weird.

the more you drink, the more your body adjusts tbh. When I was a heavy-drinker it felt like the alcohol barely affected me anymore, no hangovers nothing.

Yeah that's a way I can describe it. Emotions used to feel forced back in the day like I didn't have an actual emotional reaction to anything it was almost like my emotional response to any social situation was completely stunted. Took a lot to make me laugh, never wanted to interact with anyone. I felt like an alien. I don't necessarily feel that way anymore, but I still sometimes have these kinds of out of body experiences where like you said, I feel like I'm in my own separate world. Feels really weird.

i still feel like an alien, but I can mimick emotions really well. I smile/laugh, while feeling completely flatlined inside.

I feel this way too but then the day after or so, my brain adjusts again and I get depressed. Cant ever match that "maybe life isn't so bad" feeling off of drugs nowadays. When you're young you feel like happiness isn't that hard to achieve. Overtime and with age, it feels more and more hopeless.

It's fucked man, like you have to keep doing more and more extreme things to feel the joy you could so easily feel as a child.

I used to love rollercoasters as a child, the rare times I would go to a rollercoaster park. I went to one a year ago, and it was just boring to me honestly. No real adrenaline-rush or dopamine from it at all.
I felt like I needed to start doing some extreme sport to get that same vibe anymore.

You could keep going on like this, but to be honest it's just not sustainable. For your brains health, for your wallet, for really anything. I don't know what you do for work, but drugs get expensive lol. At the rate you or I did them at, it can burn a hole in your wallet real fast.

alcohol is expensive asf, I spend like 300-500 dollars/month on just alcohol, waste of money honestly.
drugs are really cheap here luckily. mephedrone is only like 10dollar/gram when you buy bulk

And yeah I had the same problem for a while. I grew up knowing a lot of people, but none of them were really my friends. Didn't really fit in and didn't do well with girls REALLY until I was like 18. Lost v-card at 15 but that doesn't mean anything really. Acted weird and wasn't great looking so I had to throw myself in the fire and do some exposure therapy and eventually I somewhat got over my ADS.

Might be over for me I think. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 23yo.

I haven't had sex in a while now, but when I used to have it, it just felt so unnatural to me, very hard for me to even get into it and not feel like some robot. Especially with how much performance pressure there is from women tbh.

Never considered jew pharma though tbh that will just make me dependent on pills and won't allow my brain to adjust naturally. This is basically exactly what I'm trying to avoid with real drugs that would actually make a difference as opposed to (((pharmaceuticals))) Anti depressants are just band aids covering up the real issue. Like you wouldn't put a band aid on a gunshot wound and expect it to get fixed, right? You're just covering it up. Gotta close the gunshot wound.

I wouldn't write it off. A friend of mine is also depressed, and he says it created a subtle change in his daily life mindset which gradually allowed him to improve his life.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Yeah man I've DJed at two real clubs before but they expect me to play hip hop. I've never gotten a chance to play actual techno at a club because tbh, the techno scene in NYC is virtually non-existent. I much prefer small venues with not a lot of people to party in, not even to DJ at. Even for a DJ though, huuge crowds can be intimidating I think. Biggest crowd I ever played for was in this club called Amadaeus and it was packed prolly around 200 people in the entire club on a Saturday (which is honestly a lot when you're there)

Hmm that's a shame. You would think a big city like NYC would have a lot of room/space/people for that.
But might just be that techno is just really big in the netherlands because drugs are so widespread.

EVERYONE is on something other than alcohol here, easily 90% of people in a club. Hate hiphop though.

Yeah needs to be dark for sure. I love dancing. I just cant dance to hip hop. I can shuffle though lol.

yeah same, i dont like hiphop.

Drugs that affect your serotonin will usually have some degree of cross tolerance. Be safe though bro and have fun. Drink a lot of water too! Post an update on the party, maybe take a few pics for .org lol - I've never done MDMA but I've done everything else. I've had chances to do it, but I always thought it was too neurotoxic and I said I was good. I bet candyflipping is nice, but even regular acid can be too much sometimes. Sometimes you just want it to end lol who's got time to be tripping for 8 hours basically unable to really do anything normal?

ahahha yeah acid you gotta plan the whole day for it basically. It just takes so long. Albeit the peak when you are really tripping balls and incapable of doing anything at all is only like ~3 hours or so i guess.

mdma is neurotoxic when misused/abused, but luckily its not addictive. And not as damaging as meth, I am staying away from that.

ill make some vids later