Smother perceiving me as small child makes me feel pathetic, but other people are even worse

[Napoleon de Geso]

Is already hard, in my sacred quest of searching cute kemonowaifu of culture ~18-20yo as chronologically twice older transage/agefluid man, who [sometimes] identifies as even younger than those 18-20 females, so majority of them seem too old for me, and need to find special one 18-20yo, with extraordinary chuuni personality, for better matching my REAL age. That brings into conflict with human world, even with friends, who talking shit and so need to get rid of them, even if result of it is having no friends. In all this doom, smother comes out as one of better people, [sort of] supportive to my search and goals of finding cute ~18-20yo kemonowaifu in East or Southeas Asia (searching in all world, but this part of world is biggest source of girls who looks cute&crazy, so need to find one who also has cute&crazy personality of kemono friend). But it comes with 2 problems. One is my smothers sedentary lifestyle, due what I got very wrong sedentary upbringing, which, combined with social anxiety, makes travelling into hard task, and so maybe even need therapy to help me in this. And another problem, is that still get impression that smother perceives my search for waifu and swiping in dating sites just as one more game child is playing, and when sometimes I show her my matches, is looks reaction of hers like just small child showing something, and adult just pretending to be interested for sake of that superficial bonding without real deep interest into what child is doing. She needs therapy too, for understanding that I'm teenager, not small child. All this world needs therapy. Or to be hit by asteroid.

Still better than father, simpleminded traditional man who wanted me to be same, find simple job, and then simple female to marry. Or those friends, who wanted me to go for "women my age", and opposed me wanting to find waifu of another race, because they were stupid racists and nazis. Sometimes I hate nazis too, as they make lame and cucked friends, and want me to be slave of white females, instead of finding cute asian (or whatever race, if cute) kemonowaifu of culture