SO4 (Shame) Struggle: 6'0 MTN and pulling, but the "Former Bloatcel" trauma is real

[erickdoox]

Sup bhis,

I’m in a weird spot. I’m currently a 6'0 MTN (Mid-Tier Normie) and I’m actually pulling foids at school pretty consistently, but the blackpill won’t let me be happy. To everyone else, I’ve ascended, but internally, I’m still that sub-human tier bloatcel from when I was 7-13.

I spent my entire childhood as a literal fatty, and even though I have a jawline now and I mog the local LTNs at my school, the SO4 (Social 4) shame is constant. I feel like a fraud. Like at any moment, my face is going to revert back to that bloated mess and it’ll be over.

The Mental State:

• Dismorphism: People tell me I look "good" or "aesthetic," but I just see the failos.
• The Secret: I spend so much time looksmaxxing (skin-maxxing, brow-shaping, hiding the hammer from my mom) not even to get more girls, but just to outrun the ghost of my former self.
• Pride-maxxing: For me, it’s not about the SMV boost anymore—it’s about being proud of the reflection. I want a face that looks like it was carved, not grown in a fast-food joint.

Current Situation:

• Height: 6'0 (barely avoided being a heightcel, JFL).
• Tier: MTN leaning towards Chadlite on a good lighting day.
• The Cope: I’m obsessed with facial leaning and dismorphism because I need to erase every trace of that 10-year-old bloatcel.

Questions for the sensitive/high-IQ bhis:

1. Does the "former fatty" trauma ever actually go away, or am I destined to be a mentalcel forever?
2. Is it cope to want a 10/10 face if you’re already pulling? Or is the pursuit of perfection-maxxing the only way to kill the shame?
3. How do I stop the SO4 urge to self-sabotage when a high-tier foid shows interest? I always feel like she’s going to "find out" I used to be a sub-human.

I’m mirin the guys who grew up as prettyboys and don't have this brain-rot. For the rest of us, the ascension is as much about the mind as it is the gonial angle.

DNR if you’re just gonna say "personality matters." We know the truth here, i don't have a good personality since im a DNR Oldcel Larper.

 

[Lexica]

im also a former bloatcel, bloating+fat makes me mtn when im supposed to be masc pretty boy cl without it. ANd maybe high cl or chad with looksmaxxing properly. I don't think lighting can make you go from mtn to chadlite, that sounds like body dysmorphia. Girls arent changing there view of your attractiveness based of temporary lighting.

 

[Lexica]

I do know this is gpt im not an iqlet

 

[erickdoox]

im also a former bloatcel, bloating+fat makes me mtn when im supposed to be masc pretty boy cl without it. ANd maybe high cl or chad with looksmaxxing properly. I don't think lighting can make you go from mtn to chadlite, that sounds like body dysmorphia. Girls arent changing there view of your attractiveness based of temporary lighting.

I do know this is gpt im not an iqlet

Nigga i don't even remember posting that GPT ass thread and dnr the first one cuz too many buzzes

 

[SoundnVision]

Abused dog syndrome

 

[kisslessvirgin]

0

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

NZK

 

[erickdoox]

NZK

Wtf that shit means