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Highly requested thread, mb for prolonging the writing of this.
So the core reason of looksmaxxing is (as far as I've noticed) to improve your looks to pull girls (I don't believe a word if yall are saying you do this for yourself, u just want pussy admit it)
My main claim here is that you should be socialmaxxing as much if not even more than looksmaxxing
Also sorry for all the girls and faggots here, I approach this from the perspective of guys who are trying to pull girls
But the truth is, looks don't automatically get you girls, supposing you aren't in the literal top 10 best-looking men in the world
I created a graph to illustrate this, see below
click on the photo to make it unstretched
Red line: looks (appeal scale)
green line: social skills
This graph illustrates the required social skills vs your looks to be able to pull, for example, say you are very good-looking, (left side of the graph) you will need less social skills to pull the same amount as if you were not so good-looking.
The key takeaway from this is,
1. the origin is not in the center, meaning you will always still need social skills to pull
2. you can compensate for the lesser looks with good social skills and still pull the same
If you say looks are everything when it comes to pulling, you are either blatantly joking or very estranged from reality. Believe me, it doesn't matter if you look like chad, you still need social skills to be able to pull, thinking that when you will some god-forsaken day ascend to chad, you would pull all the girls without any problem, is not realistic and that is not how it goes in real life.
Also, it is a lot easier AND more effective to improve your social skills rather than some cope looksmaxx things (apart from the obvious softmaxx things, skincare, healthy lifestyle, etc.)
The tricky and the easy part about socialmaxxing is that it all comes down to your own mindset, and the solution lies in your head.
The reason it is tricky is that there is no straightforward solution to that, it's not like typical looksmaxxing where if you do this then this will happen, the solution is very personal and depends on each individual
But at the same time, it's all in your head, so the solution will be found there as well.
Socialmaxxing is closely related to mindsetmaxxing since that is one way you will improve your social skills.
Mindsetmaxxing will also benefit other areas of your life, from overall mental well-being to your view of life.
So how do I socialmaxx and mindsetmaxx?
Socialmaxx
As mentioned before, there isn't any fool-proof method of socialmaxxing, no guide saying do this and this then you will be rizzgod will work.
The only way is to slowly assume this new way of being with people, you can't do it overnight, because if you force yourself to be overly social compared to your earlier self, it will 1. be very unnatural and considerably harder for you to keep it up 2. since it will be unnatural and forced, people will see through it that you are acting.
So for those reasons, you have to start small. You have to be at ease with yourself and accept that you just have to play the cards you get dealt in life. Take baby steps at socializing and get comfortable talking to new people and keeping up conversations.
Suppose you don't have lots of friends at school or work or wish to have more, start small, start talking to someone new who is maybe also alone during break. In that case, I guarantee you 99% of the time people will not find it weird or see you in bad lighting if you go and talk to them, and if they do, they are not the person you want to be friends with.
And from there it's much easier, your new friend probably has other friends too and they will introduce you to them = more friends.
That way being around people and being social is getting a lot more natural for you, and thus you will have way more courage to talk to, for example, that crush of yours that you've been thinking about.
Literature I recommend for this:
The fine art of small talk by Debra Fine
How to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime by Larry king
TLDR; Socialmaxxing is all about small progressions, which will overtime make you feel more natural being around people and talking to new people
Mindsetmaxx
This one is a bit more tricky, but could also be easier for some people and again, there isn't any guaranteed guide to how you will change your perception of yourself and life, but I'll give you some tips on how to approach this problem.
I will talk about the "soft" way of mindsetmaxxing since I do not want to encourage any psychedelic use, if you are interested in that route, there is a lot of information about that available online on other sites.
So what is the goal of mindsetmaxxing?
The goal is good self-esteem, a courageous mind, and being overall happy and able to enjoy your life.
How do you achieve this?
As with socialmaxxing, mindsetmaxx consists of small steps that will eventually accumulate to the final goal.
Stress and anxiety is a major thing that affects many of us, degrading our quality of life. Feeling stressed and anxious can have many negative effects from lowering our self-esteem to depressing our minds.
Overall happiness and the ability to enjoy life requires a fairly stress and anxiety-free mind, but you must know that these feelings cannot be completely swept away and it is normal to have these feelings and everybody has these feelings because they are our body's natural reaction to certain things happening around us. It is also our body's way of telling us something is not right.
The key is to be able to control these feelings.
You have to learn not to stress about things you cannot control.
Thankfully minimizing stress and anxiety-causing factors, which we can control, is somewhat easy, but it requires some brainwork.
When you feel stress or anxiety, try to think about what causes it imminently, and from there on, work towards the root reason. For example, say you feel stressed about school, think what is the core reason for that. Is it because you have assignments overdue? Is it because you were arguing about something with your friend?
Once you have figured out the reason why you feel stressed, it is a lot easier to target that reason and work towards of eliminating that cause for stress/anxiety.
In my own experience, eliminating these factors one by one is the most effective way to approach stress and anxiety.
Building self-esteem and courage are the next things we will be focusing on, I would advise you to try to minimize stress and anxiety first (happymaxx), it will give you a good base to work on other aspects of mindsetmaxx.
Building self-esteem and courage can be a long road depending on your starting level, but it is necessary since it is vital for socialmaxx and will make it a lot easier.
Improving self-esteem is fairly hard to explain since I don't have a degree in psychology, but I will try to do my best, I hope yall understand.
Here is my personal "guide" for improving self-esteem
Start by identifying negative thoughts and challenging them (talked about this a bit earlier). Replace them with more realistic and positive thoughts, focusing on your strengths and past successes. Find what are your strengths, embrace them, and find how to implement them more into your day-to-day life, living on your strengths will help.
Set achievable goals for yourself, breaking larger goals into smaller steps. Each accomplishment boosts your confidence. Practice self-compassion, treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when facing challenges or making mistakes. As hard as this forum makes it, you have to learn to love yourself. It's not over for you brahs, for real.
Accept that nobody is perfect and embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you unique. This is important, but when you accept it, it should never stun your aspiration to become better, you should seek perfection because while never reaching it, you will become better on the way. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being through self-care activities. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and believe in you, limiting exposure to negativity.
Don't compare yourself to literal supermodels or super famous people, it does no good to you.
Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and seek feedback from trusted individuals to reinforce your sense of self-worth. These trusted individuals are not embittered .org anons who just try to bring you down.
Also, a very noteworthy way is seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor if low self-esteem significantly impacts your life and you feel like you cannot fix it yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of about talking to a professional, they will know a lot better than anyone here.
As with all things psychology, it is very hard to give a "solid" guide on what you have to do, because our minds are so very different, and what might work for someone, probably doesn't work for someone else, so these things that I listed are mainly guidances on how you could approach improving self-esteem.
I don't have any specific literature about this, but I recommend philosophy, personally, it helped me a lot. There are good threads about which philosophers to read, I personally recommend stoicism and Aristotle.
Might have missed some points, lmk in the comments
Also disclaimer, this topic is definitely not the easiest to approach and I don't have any education in this field, I'm just speaking from my own experience, so pls understand
I am more than happy to answer any questions that you might have.
tags:
@northern mogger @looksmaxxertheguy @ominion @VivaCristoRey @Sapieeen
So the core reason of looksmaxxing is (as far as I've noticed) to improve your looks to pull girls (I don't believe a word if yall are saying you do this for yourself, u just want pussy admit it)
My main claim here is that you should be socialmaxxing as much if not even more than looksmaxxing
Also sorry for all the girls and faggots here, I approach this from the perspective of guys who are trying to pull girls
But the truth is, looks don't automatically get you girls, supposing you aren't in the literal top 10 best-looking men in the world
I created a graph to illustrate this, see below
Red line: looks (appeal scale)
green line: social skills
This graph illustrates the required social skills vs your looks to be able to pull, for example, say you are very good-looking, (left side of the graph) you will need less social skills to pull the same amount as if you were not so good-looking.
The key takeaway from this is,
1. the origin is not in the center, meaning you will always still need social skills to pull
2. you can compensate for the lesser looks with good social skills and still pull the same
If you say looks are everything when it comes to pulling, you are either blatantly joking or very estranged from reality. Believe me, it doesn't matter if you look like chad, you still need social skills to be able to pull, thinking that when you will some god-forsaken day ascend to chad, you would pull all the girls without any problem, is not realistic and that is not how it goes in real life.
Also, it is a lot easier AND more effective to improve your social skills rather than some cope looksmaxx things (apart from the obvious softmaxx things, skincare, healthy lifestyle, etc.)
The tricky and the easy part about socialmaxxing is that it all comes down to your own mindset, and the solution lies in your head.
The reason it is tricky is that there is no straightforward solution to that, it's not like typical looksmaxxing where if you do this then this will happen, the solution is very personal and depends on each individual
But at the same time, it's all in your head, so the solution will be found there as well.
Socialmaxxing is closely related to mindsetmaxxing since that is one way you will improve your social skills.
Mindsetmaxxing will also benefit other areas of your life, from overall mental well-being to your view of life.
So how do I socialmaxx and mindsetmaxx?
Socialmaxx
As mentioned before, there isn't any fool-proof method of socialmaxxing, no guide saying do this and this then you will be rizzgod will work.
The only way is to slowly assume this new way of being with people, you can't do it overnight, because if you force yourself to be overly social compared to your earlier self, it will 1. be very unnatural and considerably harder for you to keep it up 2. since it will be unnatural and forced, people will see through it that you are acting.
So for those reasons, you have to start small. You have to be at ease with yourself and accept that you just have to play the cards you get dealt in life. Take baby steps at socializing and get comfortable talking to new people and keeping up conversations.
Suppose you don't have lots of friends at school or work or wish to have more, start small, start talking to someone new who is maybe also alone during break. In that case, I guarantee you 99% of the time people will not find it weird or see you in bad lighting if you go and talk to them, and if they do, they are not the person you want to be friends with.
And from there it's much easier, your new friend probably has other friends too and they will introduce you to them = more friends.
That way being around people and being social is getting a lot more natural for you, and thus you will have way more courage to talk to, for example, that crush of yours that you've been thinking about.
Literature I recommend for this:
The fine art of small talk by Debra Fine
How to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime by Larry king
TLDR; Socialmaxxing is all about small progressions, which will overtime make you feel more natural being around people and talking to new people
Mindsetmaxx
This one is a bit more tricky, but could also be easier for some people and again, there isn't any guaranteed guide to how you will change your perception of yourself and life, but I'll give you some tips on how to approach this problem.
I will talk about the "soft" way of mindsetmaxxing since I do not want to encourage any psychedelic use, if you are interested in that route, there is a lot of information about that available online on other sites.
So what is the goal of mindsetmaxxing?
The goal is good self-esteem, a courageous mind, and being overall happy and able to enjoy your life.
How do you achieve this?
As with socialmaxxing, mindsetmaxx consists of small steps that will eventually accumulate to the final goal.
Stress and anxiety is a major thing that affects many of us, degrading our quality of life. Feeling stressed and anxious can have many negative effects from lowering our self-esteem to depressing our minds.
Overall happiness and the ability to enjoy life requires a fairly stress and anxiety-free mind, but you must know that these feelings cannot be completely swept away and it is normal to have these feelings and everybody has these feelings because they are our body's natural reaction to certain things happening around us. It is also our body's way of telling us something is not right.
The key is to be able to control these feelings.
You have to learn not to stress about things you cannot control.
Thankfully minimizing stress and anxiety-causing factors, which we can control, is somewhat easy, but it requires some brainwork.
When you feel stress or anxiety, try to think about what causes it imminently, and from there on, work towards the root reason. For example, say you feel stressed about school, think what is the core reason for that. Is it because you have assignments overdue? Is it because you were arguing about something with your friend?
Once you have figured out the reason why you feel stressed, it is a lot easier to target that reason and work towards of eliminating that cause for stress/anxiety.
In my own experience, eliminating these factors one by one is the most effective way to approach stress and anxiety.
Building self-esteem and courage are the next things we will be focusing on, I would advise you to try to minimize stress and anxiety first (happymaxx), it will give you a good base to work on other aspects of mindsetmaxx.
Building self-esteem and courage can be a long road depending on your starting level, but it is necessary since it is vital for socialmaxx and will make it a lot easier.
Improving self-esteem is fairly hard to explain since I don't have a degree in psychology, but I will try to do my best, I hope yall understand.
Here is my personal "guide" for improving self-esteem
Start by identifying negative thoughts and challenging them (talked about this a bit earlier). Replace them with more realistic and positive thoughts, focusing on your strengths and past successes. Find what are your strengths, embrace them, and find how to implement them more into your day-to-day life, living on your strengths will help.
Set achievable goals for yourself, breaking larger goals into smaller steps. Each accomplishment boosts your confidence. Practice self-compassion, treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when facing challenges or making mistakes. As hard as this forum makes it, you have to learn to love yourself. It's not over for you brahs, for real.
Accept that nobody is perfect and embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you unique. This is important, but when you accept it, it should never stun your aspiration to become better, you should seek perfection because while never reaching it, you will become better on the way. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being through self-care activities. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and believe in you, limiting exposure to negativity.
Don't compare yourself to literal supermodels or super famous people, it does no good to you.
Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and seek feedback from trusted individuals to reinforce your sense of self-worth. These trusted individuals are not embittered .org anons who just try to bring you down.
Also, a very noteworthy way is seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor if low self-esteem significantly impacts your life and you feel like you cannot fix it yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of about talking to a professional, they will know a lot better than anyone here.
As with all things psychology, it is very hard to give a "solid" guide on what you have to do, because our minds are so very different, and what might work for someone, probably doesn't work for someone else, so these things that I listed are mainly guidances on how you could approach improving self-esteem.
I don't have any specific literature about this, but I recommend philosophy, personally, it helped me a lot. There are good threads about which philosophers to read, I personally recommend stoicism and Aristotle.
Might have missed some points, lmk in the comments
Also disclaimer, this topic is definitely not the easiest to approach and I don't have any education in this field, I'm just speaking from my own experience, so pls understand
I am more than happy to answer any questions that you might have.
tags:
@northern mogger @looksmaxxertheguy @ominion @VivaCristoRey @Sapieeen
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