Stop comparing yourself to others

[bradchadpitt]

Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Whenever I've felt extremely depressed and unhappy about myself it stems from some form of inadequacy. Feeling that I'm not good enough compared to other guys who have it better than me. Guys who have more money, taller, better looking, white, more popular, in better jobs, at better universities, more charismatic, with hotter women. You name it. There is a tendency to always compare all aspects of our lives with other guys and feel insecure that we're not good enough compared to those who are doing better than us.

But here's the thing - you're not them. And although this might be depressing to accept at first and can make you feel extremely blackpilled, the beauty of life is that everyone is different and faces their own adversities. Even if you think this is "cope" - what can you do about it? Nothing, right? You will never wake up tomorrow as a completely different guy. I will never wake up as a white guy. But even if I was a white guy, I would still feel that I'm not enough. I would still look at the taller, better looking, richer, more charismatic, more popular white guys and still have some feeling of inadequacy in comparison.

In a world that is extremely competitive for men, it is hard not to feel like you're not enough. There are so many things that are out of your control. There are so many things that will impact your life that you have absolutely no influence over. That's life. But what you can have control over is your mind. What you can have control over is how you react to things. How you respond to adversity. And being able to keep moving forward with unwavering determination despite the obstacles you face in life is what will help you be content with yourself.

Everyone is different. Everyone has different traits, characteristics, experiences, and emotions. Everyone is unique. You can't compare yourself to someone who isn't you. All you can do is compare yourself to the man you were yesterday and even if you were only marginally better today that's a step in the right direction.

There have been so many times I look at guys who are better looking than I am, richer than I am, with really attractive women etc, and I just end up feeling shit about myself.

But I've realised that I am who I am. I am the way I am. As long as I can look at the guy I was yesterday and be better than him, that's all I can ask of myself.

 

[Jattpslmogger]

are you the guy that started becoming a cuck

 

[vanillaicecream]

Reddit moment

 

[vanillaicecream]

But what you can have control over is your mind. What you can have control over is how you react to things.

Completely and utterly false

 

[bradchadpitt]

are you the guy that started becoming a cuck

When I was depressed I felt like I wasn't good enough and had no other choice. Now that I'm self-improving and doing better mentally I've realised that my ability to attract good looking white women doesn't define my worth as a human being.

My self-worth has slowly started increasing and I don't feel like I have to be a cuck.

 

[bradchadpitt]

Completely and utterly false

All you have is control over your own mind. There are people that are resilient in the most horrible situations and there are others who collapse mentally over the slightest issues.

 

[Jattpslmogger]

When I was depressed I felt like I wasn't good enough and had no other choice. Now that I'm self-improving and doing better mentally I've realised that my ability to attract good looking white women doesn't define my worth as a human being.

My self-worth has slowly started increasing and I don't feel like I have to be a cuck.

good man taking the BULLpill

 

[recai iskender]

Comparison is the thief of joy but only if you lose

 

[bradchadpitt]

Comparison is the thief of joy but only if you lose

Everyone loses in some aspect. That really attractive tall guy that you think is a chad may feel like an absolute loser in another area of his life.

That's not cope. That's just a reality of life. Everyone 'loses' in some aspect.

 

[vanillaicecream]

All you have is control over your own mind. There are people that are resilient in the most horrible situations and there are others who collapse mentally over the slightest issues.

But you don't have control over your mind lol. The fact that you can potentially analyze between options and be aware of them doesn't mean that you have control over the effect things have on you. Say you prefer to do X over Y after thinking about it. Did you actually consciously choose for X to have that affect on you or does it just happen because that's how your brain processes information. At what moment did you consciously choose to become the sort of person that would have an inclination towards something. Being aware and engaging in reflection doesn't mean you have control over the end result.

 

[recai iskender]

Everyone loses in some aspect. That really attractive tall guy that you think is a chad may feel like an absolute loser in another area of his life.

That's not cope. That's just a reality of life. Everyone 'loses' in some aspect.

Yes but by losing you understand there are people better than you at a certain subject and you MIGHT work on that subject or if you have some illness you just LDAR

 

[bradchadpitt]

But you don't have control over your mind lol. The fact that you can potentially analyze between options and be aware of them doesn't mean that you have control over the effect things have on you. Say you prefer to do X over Y after thinking about it. Did you actually consciously choose for X to have that affect on you or does it just happen because that's how your brain processes information. At what moment did you consciously choose to become the sort of person that would have an inclination towards something. Being aware and engaging in reflection doesn't mean you have control over the end result.

I never said you have control over the end result. My entire point is that despite the end result (which oftentimes is out of your control), you should keep moving forward positively towards your goals without feeling upset about the outcome.

Let the chips fall where they may. Stop trying to be perfect.

 

[bradchadpitt]

Yes but by losing you understand there are people better than you at a certain subject and you MIGHT work on that subject or if you have some illness you just LDAR

Of course there will be people better than you in some way, that's why all you can do is compare yourself to the guy you were yesterday.

Doing nothing and wailing in misery won't change anything. No one is coming to save you. The universe won't feel sorry for you.

Trying to be a better version of yourself is all you can do and you will absolutely feel better about yourself even if you fail to reach your goals.

 

[dragons2246]

I love this post as it aligns with my ethos. However I can add another layer to this.

A looot of people that you perceive as "better" than you have some fucked up problem somewhere that you don't have and you would be glad you don't have. It's just not visible so you don't see it. The halo blinds you from realizing that everyone has their own problems and shit they gotta deal with.

The ultra rich 6'5" chad up the street struggles with finding a purpose in life and is on the verge of self deletion. The guy who gets all the pussy at your school grew up being sexually abused. It can go so deep. Always be grateful for what you DO have and work towards getting what you don't rather than hating yourself that you don't have it.

Top tier high IQ post.

 

[R@m@]

Completely and utterly false

Its true and depends on each person perspective