BigJimsWornOutTires
Emerald
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
- Posts
- 32,501
- Reputation
- 42,706
Recently, the Oscars broadcast from the homeless encampment called YouTube. This is the bottom of the barrel. If next year they fail to get the numbers, they’ll join Alex Jones in the shithole of the internet—Rumble.
Unlike the Academy Awards, known to encourage Americans to open their mouths for rich celebrities to piss into, football, too, isn’t attracting enough money to keep its athletes fed with riches. Today’s Gen Zoids would rather play with themselves while thirsting for retarded auties making eating sounds. Instead of worshiping violent men who would beat them up in school, their eyes are glued to TikTok, Discord, and pornography.
Television has been hemorrhaging losses since streaming networks like Netflix and Prime Video went mainstream during the COVID-19 lockdown. Not only that, but cable channels also joined the internet alternative. Real Time with Bill Maher, for example, his total net worth is estimated to be around $140 million, accumulated through various sources, including comedy tours and investments, but mainly because of HBO.
But it's not easy to convince a company like Netflix to sign you up with a twenty-million-dollar contract. You'll need to convince them with numbers.
After Kimmel got the same memo as the other talentless comedians had (Fallon, Colbert, that other guy), he considered his future of prosperity. He'll need to convince a streaming network to sign him on, and fast! I believe he targeted Netflix. Using his connections in Hollywood, which is adjacent to Mr. Show Business (President Donald Trump), they devised a scheme that was so crazy... it might work. Controversy!
Ah, yes, Jimmy envisions his show on Netflix...
“BANNED FROM TELEVISION, THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MAN IN AMERICA IS HERE... LIVE ON NETFLIX BEGINNING THIS FRIDAY AT 8 PM!"
Then add uncensored content; perhaps fans may watch it just to hear him make perverted jokes like cuddling in the nude with his adult daughter. "So as you know, this past weekend we had a blackout while my daughter was in town visiting," Jimmy says as he joins his hands and cracks his knuckles.
"And it was cold! So we thought outside the box to stay warm. Well, not much later, she asked me, "Daddy, I understand it's cold, and our electricity is out, and we're using our combined bodies to stay warm, but why is your dick hard?""
[Audience chuckles; some fans are shocked in silence with their mouths open.]
Jimmy concludes his disturbing punchline, "Because your pussy is wet, Sweety."
[Audience erupts in hysterical laughter. Two liberal fans fall out of their seats, choking in laughter.]
Jimmy begins crying and says to the audience, “I love my children more than you love yours.”
[Awws are heard throughout the audience.]
The bottom line is America has become intensely naive to Hollywood's tricks. And not understanding how deceitful these parasites are, the viewers are clueless about these staged PR performances. But would an opportunistic little weasel like Kimmel use Charlie Kirk’s death for his extended prosperity? Well, you'll need to ask his real agent. So to contact Satan, you’ll need a chicken foot, a peacock feather, a bag of salt, pig blood, and six candles. Don’t forget the matches.
Unlike the Academy Awards, known to encourage Americans to open their mouths for rich celebrities to piss into, football, too, isn’t attracting enough money to keep its athletes fed with riches. Today’s Gen Zoids would rather play with themselves while thirsting for retarded auties making eating sounds. Instead of worshiping violent men who would beat them up in school, their eyes are glued to TikTok, Discord, and pornography.
Television has been hemorrhaging losses since streaming networks like Netflix and Prime Video went mainstream during the COVID-19 lockdown. Not only that, but cable channels also joined the internet alternative. Real Time with Bill Maher, for example, his total net worth is estimated to be around $140 million, accumulated through various sources, including comedy tours and investments, but mainly because of HBO.
But it's not easy to convince a company like Netflix to sign you up with a twenty-million-dollar contract. You'll need to convince them with numbers.
After Kimmel got the same memo as the other talentless comedians had (Fallon, Colbert, that other guy), he considered his future of prosperity. He'll need to convince a streaming network to sign him on, and fast! I believe he targeted Netflix. Using his connections in Hollywood, which is adjacent to Mr. Show Business (President Donald Trump), they devised a scheme that was so crazy... it might work. Controversy!
Ah, yes, Jimmy envisions his show on Netflix...
“BANNED FROM TELEVISION, THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MAN IN AMERICA IS HERE... LIVE ON NETFLIX BEGINNING THIS FRIDAY AT 8 PM!"
Then add uncensored content; perhaps fans may watch it just to hear him make perverted jokes like cuddling in the nude with his adult daughter. "So as you know, this past weekend we had a blackout while my daughter was in town visiting," Jimmy says as he joins his hands and cracks his knuckles.
"And it was cold! So we thought outside the box to stay warm. Well, not much later, she asked me, "Daddy, I understand it's cold, and our electricity is out, and we're using our combined bodies to stay warm, but why is your dick hard?""
[Audience chuckles; some fans are shocked in silence with their mouths open.]
Jimmy concludes his disturbing punchline, "Because your pussy is wet, Sweety."
[Audience erupts in hysterical laughter. Two liberal fans fall out of their seats, choking in laughter.]
Jimmy begins crying and says to the audience, “I love my children more than you love yours.”
[Awws are heard throughout the audience.]
The bottom line is America has become intensely naive to Hollywood's tricks. And not understanding how deceitful these parasites are, the viewers are clueless about these staged PR performances. But would an opportunistic little weasel like Kimmel use Charlie Kirk’s death for his extended prosperity? Well, you'll need to ask his real agent. So to contact Satan, you’ll need a chicken foot, a peacock feather, a bag of salt, pig blood, and six candles. Don’t forget the matches.
