the day i almost killed my self

[esoterik]

i saw this in my gallery and decided... wow. im a lonely incel right now. sounds like the perfect time to project on .org

so a year ago when i was in high school i absolutely had a huge crush on a literal innocent htb girl who didnt have social media, didnt smoke didnt do any of that stupid shit, so i get the courage to have my female friend ask her for me in one of the classes she has with her, now at this point ive never had a girlfriend never talked to a girl so when i was texting her i was hiding in the stall waiting for her to tell me what she said

she said she didnt have a boyfriend, and that she smiled when she mentioned my name (we share math) and that is the dopamine hit and i thought, wow, its actually happening, i was feeling a actual dopamine hit no imaginary scenario could.... then it came... because she was scared to talk about it.... she handed my friend a note, a note i will never forget

so i had mixed feelings about this, i thought "hmm, i could either be getting soft rejected or its just mormon culture (because she was turning 16 in may)

THEN the next day at B day when i went into math... she started the first convo with me, she said "nice shoes" and i was so beyond fucking nervous (mind u this happened in dec 2023, i was on this forum then) i was fucking shaken to my core, we had a convo for a second and for the next 2 weeks she would talk to me BUT this is where i fucked up big time, i think because i was too scared to give her attention she thought i wasnt interested, she left me more notes like "are you ok" etc, to this day i still have her notes because they are so pure to me

this is where i fucked up big time.... a dude that is shorter than me uglier (and she even noticed this) talked to her and man, he wasnt what i was, he wasnt scared to talk to her

so they talk and i think nothing of it.... until

February 14 2024 1:27pm, im leaving to go to class from lunch and..... i see them holding hands. i was so fucking out of it that i physically did that thing when your in water and u run out of breath, i couldnt breath. i almost collapsed and i physically cried in my final period.... the best chance i could ever get.... all gone

i went home and well.. i felt like i failed at my task of being here, i felt shamed to be alive, i felt like it would be better if i wasnt here.. i truly felt like if i had access to my dads safe where he keeps his guns i would have probably ended my life

anyway, little story because man, i dont know what to do, im now 18 and a virgin that has never had a girlfriend

only forum members i think would even pay an ounch of a thought to this story @chudlite and @zemult (rating guy but, ur pretty nice)

 

[gymcel64]

yeah I mean it's all on you for not talking to her, like come on. It's happened to a lot of us it's ok. Just learn from your mistake and don't be this high inhib next time

 

[cooldude1231]

Brutal

 

[esoterik]

yeah I mean it's all on you for not talking to her, like come on. It's happened to a lot of us it's ok. Just learn from your mistake and don't be this high inhib next time

but no no no, your not understanding, there is no next time, that was it, you cant get any more pure than that... and its all gone, im out of school now

 

[esoterik]

but no no no, your not understanding, there is no next time, that was it, you cant get any more pure than that... and its all gone, im out of school now

like... what else is there to life now? why when i was presented with something so precious i have to look past and marry a whore who cares about me for resources and even then still cheat on me

 

[gymcel64]

like... what else is there to life now? why when i was presented with something so precious i have to look past and marry a whore who cares about me for resources and even then still cheat on me

bro holy shit get over it. you weren't even with her. Grow up. You're going to have tougher things to deal with in your life.

 

[Charm]

Dude i felt that way too, i missed my chance with a stacy just because i didn't pursue her out of fear of being rejected.. And now shes with a guy who I'd consider to be uglier than me

 

[PeakIncels]

seems like the issue was caused by you, being a Chad would not have prevented this

 

[valentine]

February 14 2024 1:27pm, im leaving to go to class from lunch and....

it's not that serious

 

[valentine]

low t ass post I'm ngl

 

[Primalsplit]

You should have gone all the way. I mean the part where you wanted to kill yourself.

 

[greycel]

bro holy shit get over it. you weren't even with her. Grow up. You're going to have tougher things to deal with in your life.

@esoterik listen to @gymcel64 he’s right about this

You had your oneitis, a girl you developed feelings for when they weren’t even justifiable (you weren’t in a relationship with her)
It sucks man, I’ll dm you a post of mine I want you to read. You’ll understand I went through something similar but I did what I had to do, what was correct
Right now you must too

Your future wife is out there
Don’t let some random girl who you thought was the one, prevent you from finding the real one you’re destined to be with

 

[esoterik]

@esoterik listen to @gymcel64 he’s right about this

You had your oneitis, a girl you developed feelings for when they weren’t even justifiable (you weren’t in a relationship with her)
It sucks man, I’ll dm you a post of mine I want you to read. You’ll understand I went through something similar but I did what I had to do, what was correct
Right now you must too

Your future wife is out there
Don’t let some random girl who you thought was the one, prevent you from finding the real one you’re destined to be with

alright, ill prob have to start the pm, but thats not the thing im being a child over, im more over sad at the fact that no matter how valuable i work towards on the smv market, it will still end up in a 50 50 if my wife cheats on me, if she was just there for pure resource intentions, if there wasnt any feelings for me etc... its like wtf do i do now? i already have the money to buy surgery but there is no point anymore

 

[gymcel64]

@esoterik listen to @gymcel64 he’s right about this

You had your oneitis, a girl you developed feelings for when they weren’t even justifiable (you weren’t in a relationship with her)
It sucks man, I’ll dm you a post of mine I want you to read. You’ll understand I went through something similar but I did what I had to do, what was correct
Right now you must too

Your future wife is out there
Don’t let some random girl who you thought was the one, prevent you from finding the real one you’re destined to be with

thank you, it's rare to actually find highly intellectually functioning people like you on this forum.

 

[highinhibcel]

There are more fish in the sea bro

 

[esoterik]

There are more fish in the sea bro

meh, the issue is, your not going to go to the sea and find the rarest and best fish there is on a given day (and if u do, not more than that one time)

 

[highinhibcel]

meh, the issue is, your not going to go to the sea and find the rarest and best fish there is on a given day (and if u do, not more than that one time)

Well I hope you learned your lesson then for when another one comes around maybe

 

[voluptuousness]

i saw this in my gallery and decided... wow. im a lonely incel right now. sounds like the perfect time to project on .org

so a year ago when i was in high school i absolutely had a huge crush on a literal innocent htb girl who didnt have social media, didnt smoke didnt do any of that stupid shit, so i get the courage to have my female friend ask her for me in one of the classes she has with her, now at this point ive never had a girlfriend never talked to a girl so when i was texting her i was hiding in the stall waiting for her to tell me what she said

she said she didnt have a boyfriend, and that she smiled when she mentioned my name (we share math) and that is the dopamine hit and i thought, wow, its actually happening, i was feeling a actual dopamine hit no imaginary scenario could.... then it came... because she was scared to talk about it.... she handed my friend a note, a note i will never forget

View attachment 3441859


so i had mixed feelings about this, i thought "hmm, i could either be getting soft rejected or its just mormon culture (because she was turning 16 in may)

THEN the next day at B day when i went into math... she started the first convo with me, she said "nice shoes" and i was so beyond fucking nervous (mind u this happened in dec 2023, i was on this forum then) i was fucking shaken to my core, we had a convo for a second and for the next 2 weeks she would talk to me BUT this is where i fucked up big time, i think because i was too scared to give her attention she thought i wasnt interested, she left me more notes like "are you ok" etc, to this day i still have her notes because they are so pure to me

this is where i fucked up big time.... a dude that is shorter than me uglier (and she even noticed this) talked to her and man, he wasnt what i was, he wasnt scared to talk to her

so they talk and i think nothing of it.... until

February 14 2024 1:27pm, im leaving to go to class from lunch and..... i see them holding hands. i was so fucking out of it that i physically did that thing when your in water and u run out of breath, i couldnt breath. i almost collapsed and i physically cried in my final period.... the best chance i could ever get.... all gone

i went home and well.. i felt like i failed at my task of being here, i felt shamed to be alive, i felt like it would be better if i wasnt here.. i truly felt like if i had access to my dads safe where he keeps his guns i would have probably ended my life

anyway, little story because man, i dont know what to do, im now 18 and a virgin that has never had a girlfriend

only forum members i think would even pay an ounch of a thought to this story @chudlite and @zemult (rating guy but, ur pretty nice)

no balls

 

[chudlite]

i saw this in my gallery and decided... wow. im a lonely incel right now. sounds like the perfect time to project on .org

so a year ago when i was in high school i absolutely had a huge crush on a literal innocent htb girl who didnt have social media, didnt smoke didnt do any of that stupid shit, so i get the courage to have my female friend ask her for me in one of the classes she has with her, now at this point ive never had a girlfriend never talked to a girl so when i was texting her i was hiding in the stall waiting for her to tell me what she said

she said she didnt have a boyfriend, and that she smiled when she mentioned my name (we share math) and that is the dopamine hit and i thought, wow, its actually happening, i was feeling a actual dopamine hit no imaginary scenario could.... then it came... because she was scared to talk about it.... she handed my friend a note, a note i will never forget

View attachment 3441859


so i had mixed feelings about this, i thought "hmm, i could either be getting soft rejected or its just mormon culture (because she was turning 16 in may)

THEN the next day at B day when i went into math... she started the first convo with me, she said "nice shoes" and i was so beyond fucking nervous (mind u this happened in dec 2023, i was on this forum then) i was fucking shaken to my core, we had a convo for a second and for the next 2 weeks she would talk to me BUT this is where i fucked up big time, i think because i was too scared to give her attention she thought i wasnt interested, she left me more notes like "are you ok" etc, to this day i still have her notes because they are so pure to me

this is where i fucked up big time.... a dude that is shorter than me uglier (and she even noticed this) talked to her and man, he wasnt what i was, he wasnt scared to talk to her

so they talk and i think nothing of it.... until

February 14 2024 1:27pm, im leaving to go to class from lunch and..... i see them holding hands. i was so fucking out of it that i physically did that thing when your in water and u run out of breath, i couldnt breath. i almost collapsed and i physically cried in my final period.... the best chance i could ever get.... all gone

i went home and well.. i felt like i failed at my task of being here, i felt shamed to be alive, i felt like it would be better if i wasnt here.. i truly felt like if i had access to my dads safe where he keeps his guns i would have probably ended my life

anyway, little story because man, i dont know what to do, im now 18 and a virgin that has never had a girlfriend

only forum members i think would even pay an ounch of a thought to this story @chudlite and @zemult (rating guy but, ur pretty nice)

its like that lebron quote

you miss every shot you dont take

 

[esoterik]

its like that lebron quote

you miss every shot you dont take

 

[JeanneDArcAlter]

i saw this in my gallery and decided... wow. im a lonely incel right now. sounds like the perfect time to project on .org

so a year ago when i was in high school i absolutely had a huge crush on a literal innocent htb girl who didnt have social media, didnt smoke didnt do any of that stupid shit, so i get the courage to have my female friend ask her for me in one of the classes she has with her, now at this point ive never had a girlfriend never talked to a girl so when i was texting her i was hiding in the stall waiting for her to tell me what she said

she said she didnt have a boyfriend, and that she smiled when she mentioned my name (we share math) and that is the dopamine hit and i thought, wow, its actually happening, i was feeling a actual dopamine hit no imaginary scenario could.... then it came... because she was scared to talk about it.... she handed my friend a note, a note i will never forget

View attachment 3441859


so i had mixed feelings about this, i thought "hmm, i could either be getting soft rejected or its just mormon culture (because she was turning 16 in may)

THEN the next day at B day when i went into math... she started the first convo with me, she said "nice shoes" and i was so beyond fucking nervous (mind u this happened in dec 2023, i was on this forum then) i was fucking shaken to my core, we had a convo for a second and for the next 2 weeks she would talk to me BUT this is where i fucked up big time, i think because i was too scared to give her attention she thought i wasnt interested, she left me more notes like "are you ok" etc, to this day i still have her notes because they are so pure to me

this is where i fucked up big time.... a dude that is shorter than me uglier (and she even noticed this) talked to her and man, he wasnt what i was, he wasnt scared to talk to her

so they talk and i think nothing of it.... until

February 14 2024 1:27pm, im leaving to go to class from lunch and..... i see them holding hands. i was so fucking out of it that i physically did that thing when your in water and u run out of breath, i couldnt breath. i almost collapsed and i physically cried in my final period.... the best chance i could ever get.... all gone

i went home and well.. i felt like i failed at my task of being here, i felt shamed to be alive, i felt like it would be better if i wasnt here.. i truly felt like if i had access to my dads safe where he keeps his guns i would have probably ended my life

anyway, little story because man, i dont know what to do, im now 18 and a virgin that has never had a girlfriend

only forum members i think would even pay an ounch of a thought to this story @chudlite and @zemult (rating guy but, ur pretty nice)

 

[EvilDarkskinManlet]

Should of did it lol

 

[chudlite]

View attachment 3443125

i like you bro