The Futile Endeavor

santoryu

santoryu

god complex
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(dnrdcels: read green section)

This post marks the beginning of a journey. I will navigate this lonely, dark world and claim a virgin girl as mine, a girl who is mine and mine only.

Can one find such pure love in a cold, heartless world? Unlikely. Suffering and pain have consumed me, changed me. I see only a shallow shell of the kind, innocent soul I once was. Yet as I look upon my reflection I question myself: do I deserve such love? Do I deserve happiness? Thou alone shalt command thy own happiness.

Now, fellow reader, you may be asking yourself, are these tales from a lost, delusional, idealistic madman? Perhaps. Will said madman abandon the pursuit of his goal, relinquish his ideals, and surrender his pride as a man? Never. In his delusions, he finds a safe, comfortable recluse from this hellish reality. Should he remove this thin veil, he would see the world as it is, and perish by his own hands.

After having ascending for the past two years, and as a late bloomer, I lack some of the social abilities necessary to achieve my goal. I have conquered my anxiety, am low inhib, and can hold a conversation, yet the main issue is I avoid people. In uni lecture halls (500 people), I arrive early to class as I do not like people watching me when I enter, head to to the top row, and leave early just to avoid more possible interaction.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR? HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL WHEN I GET AN IOI? It’s especially hard during this time of the year because it’s so cold and the sun sets way too early. Do I just cope and wait till summer?? My semester will end soon, so hopefully I can make some changes in January.

Inb4 tales from the ward: bear in mind I am self aware enough to distinguish my idealistic self from the real world. I ascended significantly these past two years and have been getting IOI's from foids in class and outside.

any advice/thoughts would be highly appreciated. did not fully proofread my writing so I apologize for incomplete ideas.


I AM GOING TO GO SLEEP NOW. PLEASE LET ME REST.
 
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Reactions: SomaliaSub5 and InanimatePragmatist
(dnrdcels: read green section)

This post marks the beginning of a journey. I will navigate this lonely, dark world and claim a virgin girl as mine, a girl who is mine and mine only.

Can one find such pure love in a cold, heartless world? Unlikely. Suffering and pain have consumed me, changed me. I see only a shallow shell of the kind, innocent soul I once was. Yet as I look upon my reflection I question myself: do I deserve such love? Do I deserve happiness? Thou alone shalt command thy own happiness.

Now, fellow reader, you may be asking yourself, are these tales from a lost, delusional, idealistic madman? Perhaps. Will said madman abandon the pursuit of his goal, relinquish his ideals, and surrender his pride as a man? Never. In his delusions, he finds a safe, comfortable recluse from this hellish reality. Should he remove this thin veil, he would see the world as it is, and perish by his own hands.

After having ascending for the past two years, and as a late bloomer, I lack some of the social abilities necessary to achieve my goal. I have conquered my anxiety, am low inhib, and can hold a conversation, yet the main issue is I avoid people. In uni lecture halls (500 people), I arrive early to class as I do not like people watching me when I enter, head to to the top row, and leave early just to avoid more possible interaction.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR? HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL WHEN I GET AN IOI? It’s especially hard during this time of the year because it’s so cold and the sun sets way too early. Do I just cope and wait till summer?? My semester will end soon, so hopefully I can make some changes in January.

Inb4 tales from the ward: bear in mind I am self aware enough to distinguish my idealistic self from the real world. I ascended significantly these past two years and have been getting IOI's from foids in class and outside.

any advice/thoughts would be highly appreciated. did not fully proofread my writing so I apologize for incomplete ideas.


I AM GOING TO GO SLEEP NOW. PLEASE LET ME REST.
dnrd
 
  • +1
Reactions: InanimatePragmatist
(dnrdcels: read green section)

This post marks the beginning of a journey. I will navigate this lonely, dark world and claim a virgin girl as mine, a girl who is mine and mine only.

Can one find such pure love in a cold, heartless world? Unlikely. Suffering and pain have consumed me, changed me. I see only a shallow shell of the kind, innocent soul I once was. Yet as I look upon my reflection I question myself: do I deserve such love? Do I deserve happiness? Thou alone shalt command thy own happiness.

Now, fellow reader, you may be asking yourself, are these tales from a lost, delusional, idealistic madman? Perhaps. Will said madman abandon the pursuit of his goal, relinquish his ideals, and surrender his pride as a man? Never. In his delusions, he finds a safe, comfortable recluse from this hellish reality. Should he remove this thin veil, he would see the world as it is, and perish by his own hands.

After having ascending for the past two years, and as a late bloomer, I lack some of the social abilities necessary to achieve my goal. I have conquered my anxiety, am low inhib, and can hold a conversation, yet the main issue is I avoid people. In uni lecture halls (500 people), I arrive early to class as I do not like people watching me when I enter, head to to the top row, and leave early just to avoid more possible interaction.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR? HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL WHEN I GET AN IOI? It’s especially hard during this time of the year because it’s so cold and the sun sets way too early. Do I just cope and wait till summer?? My semester will end soon, so hopefully I can make some changes in January.

Inb4 tales from the ward: bear in mind I am self aware enough to distinguish my idealistic self from the real world. I ascended significantly these past two years and have been getting IOI's from foids in class and outside.

any advice/thoughts would be highly appreciated. did not fully proofread my writing so I apologize for incomplete ideas.


I AM GOING TO GO SLEEP NOW. PLEASE LET ME REST.
read. good night.
 
  • +1
Reactions: InanimatePragmatist
(dnrdcels: read green section)

This post marks the beginning of a journey. I will navigate this lonely, dark world and claim a virgin girl as mine, a girl who is mine and mine only.

Can one find such pure love in a cold, heartless world? Unlikely. Suffering and pain have consumed me, changed me. I see only a shallow shell of the kind, innocent soul I once was. Yet as I look upon my reflection I question myself: do I deserve such love? Do I deserve happiness? Thou alone shalt command thy own happiness.

Now, fellow reader, you may be asking yourself, are these tales from a lost, delusional, idealistic madman? Perhaps. Will said madman abandon the pursuit of his goal, relinquish his ideals, and surrender his pride as a man? Never. In his delusions, he finds a safe, comfortable recluse from this hellish reality. Should he remove this thin veil, he would see the world as it is, and perish by his own hands.

After having ascending for the past two years, and as a late bloomer, I lack some of the social abilities necessary to achieve my goal. I have conquered my anxiety, am low inhib, and can hold a conversation, yet the main issue is I avoid people. In uni lecture halls (500 people), I arrive early to class as I do not like people watching me when I enter, head to to the top row, and leave early just to avoid more possible interaction.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR? HOW TO TALK TO A GIRL WHEN I GET AN IOI? It’s especially hard during this time of the year because it’s so cold and the sun sets way too early. Do I just cope and wait till summer?? My semester will end soon, so hopefully I can make some changes in January.

Inb4 tales from the ward: bear in mind I am self aware enough to distinguish my idealistic self from the real world. I ascended significantly these past two years and have been getting IOI's from foids in class and outside.

any advice/thoughts would be highly appreciated. did not fully proofread my writing so I apologize for incomplete ideas.


I AM GOING TO GO SLEEP NOW. PLEASE LET ME REST.
I see life as a pointless dream. The only thing that is not pointless to it is the ability to think. I must think, I can only be If I Think. If I do not then it is pointless. That is why Trainon must be undone, it will be an extention of me. Good night, High IQ poster.
 
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Reactions: santoryu
praying for you man make it happen
 
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I see life as a pointless dream. The only thing that is not pointless to it is the ability to think. I must think, I can only be If I Think. If I do not then it is pointless. That is why Trainon must be undone, it will be an extention of me. Good night, High IQ poster.
appreciate you for saving my rep/post ratio and for the response. i will read tomorrow because i really am tired. <3
 
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Reactions: InanimatePragmatist

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