ezio6
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- Jul 8, 2020
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THE FUTURE OF DATING
Tech has made dating, a process driven task devoid of humanity, where benchmark analysis is the rule and personality appreciation the afterthought.
It killed the randomness of encounters or at least the idea of it; where people are tradeable assets.
It used to be an open outcry exchange before it got standardised and people can see the Hot Picks quoted on the machines.
The idea of love, which despite the illusion of it, helped couples to be created has eventually turned into arranged unions thanks to the segmentation of the dating apps offering.
Religious community matchmaking websites, or dating apps for successful individuals only.
What was originally a break from traditionalism is eventually coming full circle under the modern false hat of these mating special purpose vehicle such as Raya or Jswipe.
Except that, instead of the family making the choice, the illusion of freedom under the restriction of a particular characteristic of an individual is being allowed by the private sector.
Yet this is where things are failing.
Whereas before the milestones for the union were chaperoned by the respective families of the future bride and groom, the eventual motive behind the marriage was decided by other people than the direct interested parties.
Now, it is the Wild Wild West, where feelings, busy lifestyle of two working individuals, and respective agendas must match. Needless to say, the planets rarely align. Not even mentioning serial dating making things even more of a sh*tshow than it already is.
People are completely fried from the multiple notifications they get from their phone and they can barely be present as attention has become a scarce resource, this can also be seen on the date and after the said date.
What is actually missing is a level of spontaneity and human touch. Despite a number of profiles praising spontaneity, people have become so risk averse to delve into the unknown that they have become everything but spontaneous.
Tech has allowed the decrease of the information asymmetry between the parties involved when it has not created barriers to transact thanks to the involvement of multiple parties (the board of b*tches / influencers) or online platforms to triangulate the information of a prospect (IG / LinkedIn).
This kills the discovery phase from a random encounter where the beauty of the meet-up is the incremental data gathering by the respective individuals at play. Enabling the investment phase.
Add to the fact that many people on both side of the spectrum who have been dating for a while lack the patience or the inclination to give someone the right attention and time and vice. Creating a negative spiral where both men and women rarely meet eye to eye.
More importantly, there is a principal-agent problem where the apps benefit from people coming back to them. This creates a conflict of interest between the said purpose of making people get into relationships whilst profiting from them not managing to secure one.
For people to get out of the rut they unconsciously got themselves into, the process of meeting people will have to be more akin to a serendipitous dynamic.
Otherwise the overt transactional nature of these encounters, despite it being the reality of relationships, will be at the same time the grim ripper of these unions as the covert nature of the seduction process will have evaporated.
If both individuals are free to interact with whomever they please unlike in the arranged marriage past, there is still that will to feel things happened naturally.
However serious dating, under the current framework, is turning into a segmented activity for the happy few as women are gradually entertaining relationships only as long as it is an upgrade to their current lifestyle superseding the idea of an emotional connection with another individual.
If not they are on a Pay As You Go.
The logic and dynamic of modern dating app has solidified this trend.
Tech has made dating, a process driven task devoid of humanity, where benchmark analysis is the rule and personality appreciation the afterthought.
It killed the randomness of encounters or at least the idea of it; where people are tradeable assets.
It used to be an open outcry exchange before it got standardised and people can see the Hot Picks quoted on the machines.
The idea of love, which despite the illusion of it, helped couples to be created has eventually turned into arranged unions thanks to the segmentation of the dating apps offering.
Religious community matchmaking websites, or dating apps for successful individuals only.
What was originally a break from traditionalism is eventually coming full circle under the modern false hat of these mating special purpose vehicle such as Raya or Jswipe.
Except that, instead of the family making the choice, the illusion of freedom under the restriction of a particular characteristic of an individual is being allowed by the private sector.
Yet this is where things are failing.
Whereas before the milestones for the union were chaperoned by the respective families of the future bride and groom, the eventual motive behind the marriage was decided by other people than the direct interested parties.
Now, it is the Wild Wild West, where feelings, busy lifestyle of two working individuals, and respective agendas must match. Needless to say, the planets rarely align. Not even mentioning serial dating making things even more of a sh*tshow than it already is.
People are completely fried from the multiple notifications they get from their phone and they can barely be present as attention has become a scarce resource, this can also be seen on the date and after the said date.
What is actually missing is a level of spontaneity and human touch. Despite a number of profiles praising spontaneity, people have become so risk averse to delve into the unknown that they have become everything but spontaneous.
Tech has allowed the decrease of the information asymmetry between the parties involved when it has not created barriers to transact thanks to the involvement of multiple parties (the board of b*tches / influencers) or online platforms to triangulate the information of a prospect (IG / LinkedIn).
This kills the discovery phase from a random encounter where the beauty of the meet-up is the incremental data gathering by the respective individuals at play. Enabling the investment phase.
Add to the fact that many people on both side of the spectrum who have been dating for a while lack the patience or the inclination to give someone the right attention and time and vice. Creating a negative spiral where both men and women rarely meet eye to eye.
More importantly, there is a principal-agent problem where the apps benefit from people coming back to them. This creates a conflict of interest between the said purpose of making people get into relationships whilst profiting from them not managing to secure one.
For people to get out of the rut they unconsciously got themselves into, the process of meeting people will have to be more akin to a serendipitous dynamic.
Otherwise the overt transactional nature of these encounters, despite it being the reality of relationships, will be at the same time the grim ripper of these unions as the covert nature of the seduction process will have evaporated.
If both individuals are free to interact with whomever they please unlike in the arranged marriage past, there is still that will to feel things happened naturally.
However serious dating, under the current framework, is turning into a segmented activity for the happy few as women are gradually entertaining relationships only as long as it is an upgrade to their current lifestyle superseding the idea of an emotional connection with another individual.
If not they are on a Pay As You Go.
The logic and dynamic of modern dating app has solidified this trend.
