twojei
As lost as a star wandering through space.
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- Jan 19, 2024
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If only you knew guys... Every day I really confirm fear, grief, and shame as nothing more than mental psychological constructs to protect us from the pain.... But by giving myself and my body, mind, and soul to the pain, the fear, the grief, and the shame—any of those not pleasurable emotions—it is as if these same emotions disappear, as if you realize that you can reach such low levels of inhibition that you can be surrounded by thousands of people and feel as if you were at home.
I tell you an anecdote. The week after I healed part of my emotional repression, there were some dangerous looking guys on the street smoking marijuana, and me, wanting to break my inhibition limits as a giga socially anxious guy, I went and asked them to give me some and they passed me a joint just about to run out and I smoked what was left. Do you think the past version of me would have been even able to get near those guys? NO.
Boyo, what a world awaits for you out there when you decide to open up to the potential of your mind. You are aspie just like me, we have highly plastic brains, capable of constant change. We can socialize better than any neurotypical if we are not afraid to feel fear, shame, and instead if you allow yourself to feel those emotions entirely, to no run from them, they start becoming your allies, you gain power when you make the UNCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS.
When you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to be present—which is what a over thinker lacks, being in the present moment. FEEL, FEEL, FEEL, FEEL, WHATEVER YOU FEEL, BUT FEEL ENTIRELY!
Don't be AFRAID to feel. Whatever it is, but don't be AFRAID. Surrender to it completely as fast as you can.
Your imagination will be very powerful too. I imagined myself killing somebody from my past who hurt me jfl, and in such act I learned that I don't have to carry anymore resentment or hate towards that person, so even if I haven't talked to such a person, I forgave them finally. It might sound dark. Yes, because I want you to do exactly that. I want you to explore your own darkness, those aspects of you from which you run because you think of yourself as a "good guy", the one who wouldn't even dare to kill a fly, but we know perfectly what a lie that is.
We all have a violent monster inside us. A machine created for torture and violence crafted by years of violent evolution fighting against ourselves and animals, and if you don't control those aspects of yourself, then they will control you, and you'll end up discharging all of the hate you have towards society, but we don't want that. We know it is better to achieve everlasting happiness, letting go of hate and resentment is the best thing we can all do. This connects to the next point:
SELF-LOVE
The people who don't love themselves... Do you want to know who are they? The people who don't want to face the hard truths the Blackpill has for them. Why?
Because the Black pill offers the KNOWLEDGE to avoid being in pain... and when you love something, you don't want to hurt such a thing right? So if You love yourself, You Will be BLACKPILLED.
So that's why bluepilled normies are all delusional when they give themselves their proclaimed self love—because it is the way to pain.
BUT being too Blackpilled is Bad because it is an extreme. You need to start reading more about the Whitepill, but the Whitepill is also an extreme. Too much Blackpill and you end up being miserable and depressed. Similarly, too much Whitepill and you end up blaming yourself for everything and depressed. Incorporate the best of both into your life. Never stay at the extremes unless your life is at the extremes.
So if you know that that girl is not convenient for you and will use you based on your Blackpill knowledge... Will you have the force of will to resist your hate of loneliness and avoid running towards that ungrateful bitch (Whitepill)? If you love yourself, then yes. If you hate yourself, then congratulations brother, more pain in check for you.
Hate of loneliness is hate of yourself because when you are alone you are with you, your thoughts, and if you don't like them, then probably you won't love yourself, and thus you will hate loneliness, which will put you in the position of being a betabuxx so that a foid can now hate you even more! Congratulations, because of your lack of self love you made your pain even greater mothafucker jfl.
INSPIRATION.
Find inspiration of fictional characters. Me? I find it on Doctor Doom. We all share similarities: we lost it all, we have a great desire for power and knowledge, we are neither good nor bad, we want to break our limits... Read about them, study them. If you feel attracted to some character, then it is because you find yourself psychologically reflected on him. Learn from their mistakes. Such a character is almost a projection of your super ego.
MENTAL TRAINING
Meditation. Meditation. Meditation. There is nothing else better than this. Star slow. Short sessions, if you can only meditate one minute, then dedicate one minute.
ALWAYS A STUDENT, NEVER A MASTER.
regards.
I tell you an anecdote. The week after I healed part of my emotional repression, there were some dangerous looking guys on the street smoking marijuana, and me, wanting to break my inhibition limits as a giga socially anxious guy, I went and asked them to give me some and they passed me a joint just about to run out and I smoked what was left. Do you think the past version of me would have been even able to get near those guys? NO.
Boyo, what a world awaits for you out there when you decide to open up to the potential of your mind. You are aspie just like me, we have highly plastic brains, capable of constant change. We can socialize better than any neurotypical if we are not afraid to feel fear, shame, and instead if you allow yourself to feel those emotions entirely, to no run from them, they start becoming your allies, you gain power when you make the UNCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS.
When you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to be present—which is what a over thinker lacks, being in the present moment. FEEL, FEEL, FEEL, FEEL, WHATEVER YOU FEEL, BUT FEEL ENTIRELY!
Don't be AFRAID to feel. Whatever it is, but don't be AFRAID. Surrender to it completely as fast as you can.
Your imagination will be very powerful too. I imagined myself killing somebody from my past who hurt me jfl, and in such act I learned that I don't have to carry anymore resentment or hate towards that person, so even if I haven't talked to such a person, I forgave them finally. It might sound dark. Yes, because I want you to do exactly that. I want you to explore your own darkness, those aspects of you from which you run because you think of yourself as a "good guy", the one who wouldn't even dare to kill a fly, but we know perfectly what a lie that is.
We all have a violent monster inside us. A machine created for torture and violence crafted by years of violent evolution fighting against ourselves and animals, and if you don't control those aspects of yourself, then they will control you, and you'll end up discharging all of the hate you have towards society, but we don't want that. We know it is better to achieve everlasting happiness
, letting go of hate and resentment is the best thing we can all do. This connects to the next point:SELF-LOVE
The people who don't love themselves... Do you want to know who are they? The people who don't want to face the hard truths the Blackpill has for them. Why?
Because the Black pill offers the KNOWLEDGE to avoid being in pain... and when you love something, you don't want to hurt such a thing right? So if You love yourself, You Will be BLACKPILLED.
So that's why bluepilled normies are all delusional when they give themselves their proclaimed self love—because it is the way to pain.
BUT being too Blackpilled is Bad because it is an extreme. You need to start reading more about the Whitepill, but the Whitepill is also an extreme. Too much Blackpill and you end up being miserable and depressed. Similarly, too much Whitepill and you end up blaming yourself for everything and depressed. Incorporate the best of both into your life. Never stay at the extremes unless your life is at the extremes.
So if you know that that girl is not convenient for you and will use you based on your Blackpill knowledge... Will you have the force of will to resist your hate of loneliness and avoid running towards that ungrateful bitch (Whitepill)? If you love yourself, then yes. If you hate yourself, then congratulations brother, more pain in check for you.
Hate of loneliness is hate of yourself because when you are alone you are with you, your thoughts, and if you don't like them, then probably you won't love yourself, and thus you will hate loneliness, which will put you in the position of being a betabuxx so that a foid can now hate you even more! Congratulations, because of your lack of self love you made your pain even greater mothafucker jfl.
INSPIRATION.
Find inspiration of fictional characters. Me? I find it on Doctor Doom. We all share similarities: we lost it all, we have a great desire for power and knowledge, we are neither good nor bad, we want to break our limits... Read about them, study them. If you feel attracted to some character, then it is because you find yourself psychologically reflected on him. Learn from their mistakes. Such a character is almost a projection of your super ego.
MENTAL TRAINING
Meditation. Meditation. Meditation. There is nothing else better than this. Star slow. Short sessions, if you can only meditate one minute, then dedicate one minute.
ALWAYS A STUDENT, NEVER A MASTER.
regards.
