🏈🏈 The NEW Football will happen in this universe as it has in many others 🏈🏈

BigJimsWornOutTires

BigJimsWornOutTires

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March 17, 2026

Inside an office, a group of men and a lady are seated around a table. A ginger mate announced, “We lost 50 million this season.”

“Why aren’t people into football anymore?” inserted the black feller.

A fat prick blurted, “Those cocksucking assholes in DC with their make everyone gay shit!”

“What about next year?” said the ginger man.

“According to the profit projection and consumer turnout," the blonde hottie said. "Next year will be tenfold the current loss.”

“This is bullshit!”

“We could hire somebody from Harvard with a fresh, new strategy," blackie suggested.

“Oh, hell fucking no!" Ginger man stood and added, "I saw what that got Budwieser and Disney. Fuck you!”

“Fuck you," the Hispanic reacted.

“Fuck all of you!” the woman voiced.

“What if we changed the game but kept it football?” the Asian man implied.

“I’m listening," he said as he reclaimed his seat.

“Today’s youth and generations are pussies. Agree?” Everyone nodded. “They don’t care for body-on-body aggression. A common pussy trait. But remember, after the CEO of United Healthcare was murdered, they celebrated the act.”

“Indeed," the tiny hat man said. "They did the same thing after October 7, and Charlie Kirk, whom we all know without a doubt, Tyler Robinson murdered.”

“And what item was used in all of those events?" China asked the group and added, "Weren’t fists, weren’t helmets, weren’t body armor.”

“Guns," fat man said.

“Bingo.”

“Carry on," ginger directed.

“Instead of the football players tackling one another, they shoot each other.”

“Then there won’t be any players left for the Super Bowl!” tiny hat said. "Which happens to be our milk and honey."

“Such a tiny brain you have, Israel. Rubber bullets.”

“But what about the risks of them ricocheting and hitting the spectators? Insurance companies would block this.”

“Glass barriers around the fans.”

“So they’re still throwing the ball, catching it, and running…”

“...while everyone is shooting each other. And this makes the field goal part even more challenging. Imagine running to kick the ball into a hail of bullets.”

“Let’s do it!”

Excited Season 1 GIF by The Office
 
Last edited:
  • +1
Reactions: Ibohammed Eshakt’ur and r1ght
Thank you
 
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March 17, 2026

Inside an office, a group of men and a lady are seated around a table. A ginger mate announced, “We lost 50 million this season.”

“Why aren’t people into football anymore?” inserted the black feller.

A fat prick blurted, “Those cocksucking assholes in DC with their make everyone gay shit!”

“What about next year?” said the ginger man.

“According to the profit projection and consumer turnout," the blonde hottie said. "Next year will be tenfold the current loss.”

“This is bullshit!”

“We could hire somebody from Harvard with a fresh, new strategy," blackie suggested.

“Oh, hell fucking no!" Ginger man stood and added, "I saw what that got Budwieser and Disney. Fuck you!”

“Fuck you," the Hispanic reacted.

“Fuck all of you!” the woman voiced.

“What if we changed the game but kept it football?” the Asian man implied.

“I’m listening," he said as he reclaimed his seat.

“Today’s youth and generations are pussies. Agree?” Everyone nodded. “They don’t care for body-on-body aggression. A common pussy trait. But remember, after the CEO of United Healthcare was murdered, they celebrated the act.”

“Indeed," the tiny hat man said. "They did the same thing after October 7, and Charlie Kirk, whom we all know without a doubt, Tyler Robinson murdered.”

“And what item was used in all of those events?" China asked the group. "Weren’t fists, weren’t tackling, weren’t kicking.”

“Guns," fat man said.

“Bingo.”

“Carry on," ginger directed.

“Instead of the football players tackling one another, they shoot each other.”

“Then there won’t be any players left for the Super Bowl!” tiny hat said. "Which happens to be our milk and honey."

“Such a tiny brain you have, Israel. Rubber bullets.”

“But what about the risks of them ricocheting and hitting the spectators? Insurance companies would block this.”

“Glass barriers around the fans.”

“So they’re still throwing the ball, catching it, and running…”

“...while everyone is shooting each other. And this makes the field goal part even more challenging. Imagine running to kick the ball into a hail of bullets.”

“Let’s do it!”

Excited Season 1 GIF by The Office
why do you always write essays no one will read
 
  • Hmm...
Reactions: BigJimsWornOutTires
Not bad, but I’ve seen better!
 
  • JFL
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