The only thing that hurt more than when I gave up on myself

[Prøphet]

Was seeing my whole family slowly begin to give up on me too

All anyone expects from me is to live and breathe now. At first I liked it, but now it just torment me

That’s no life, it’s just surviving


It’s all my fault

There had to have been a way where I could’ve made things different, even knowing how tragic of a life I was born into

 

[Incelforeever]

Shit my stupid parents still haven’t given up on me, I’m so jealous of u. My nigga of a father be Harssing me, side eyeing me. Telling me “take pills, take pills”

He doesn’t know what I’m dealing with, I’m in hell

 

[Prøphet]

Shit my stupid parents still haven’t given up on me, I’m so jealous of u. My nigga of a father be Harssing me, side eyeing me. Telling me “take pills, take pills”

He doesn’t know what I’m dealing with, I’m in hell

If I knew it would be like this 3 years ago, I would’ve been jealous too. But it’s just as horrible in its own way. Not better or worse, it just takes the same toll in a different way

 

[Incelforeever]

If I knew it would be like this 3 years ago, I would’ve been jealous too. But it’s just as horrible in its own way. Not better or worse, it just takes the same toll in a different way

what do u see in ur future?

 

[Prøphet]

what do u see in ur future?

I see nothing at all, just the same monotonous unfulfilling cycle leaving me eternally dissatisfied and ashamed. Mainly because I refuse to do anything to better my circumstances I think. I’m too depressed to even leave the house and spend nearly all of my time in meaningless escapism to keep me numb and in pleasure. I console myself by making up fantasies of achieving my dreams, but deep down I know it’s just fantasy that I will never go out of my way to make happen, because of the way I am and all the conditions I have.

 

[Prøphet]

what do u see in ur future?

What about you

 

[Sink]

Was seeing my whole family slowly begin to give up on me too

All anyone expects from me is to live and breathe now. At first I liked it, but now it just torment me

That’s no life, it’s just surviving


It’s all my fault

There had to have been a way where I could’ve made things different, even knowing how tragic of a life I was born into

You can always get up again

 

[Prøphet]

You can always get up again

Part of me wants to get up, but a bigger part wants to give up and accept defeat. Sometimes I’ll make a plan of action, but then I think about all my limitations, and how painful it will be to rip off the bandaid and reclaim my will to “live”, and I get stuck in the negativity and think, why even bother, it’ll only be painful, I never want to go through the pain of seeing my honest efforts fail ever again. It’s like a battle between my spirit and my mind. I think I think too much.

 

[Incelforeever]

What about you

I see death. Not this year, but sooner than later. We aren’t alive, it’s a pointless existence. Wish I was never born

 

[Sink]

Part of me wants to get up, but a bigger part wants to give up and accept defeat. Sometimes I’ll make a plan of action, but then I think about all my limitations, and how painful it will be to rip off the bandaid and reclaim my will to “live”, and I get stuck in the negativity and think, why even bother, it’ll only be painful. It’s like a battle between my spirit and my mind. I think I think too much.

I am currently in the exact same situation as you. Never ever had a good life, all the happy memories are just nostalgia bias. But i'm still living, it's a sign that i can do something to change it. Make living comfortable and tolerable instead of straight up hell.