The Parable of the Springland

Beastimmung

Beastimmung

Misanthropic Flâneur
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I recently dreamed of a land where it was always spring. Winters were never cold, summers never warm—just a constant temperature of 23°C with a slightly overcast sky. There was no more night; it was a permanent noon. Everyone could come, but no one could leave, for Springland stretched across the entire globe. The seas were only a meter deep—so no one could drown.

No one was afraid to express their feelings anymore—and conveniently, everyone felt the same! Every person lived to old age, and each individual death caused convulsive sobbing among the population, for every ninety-year-old was just as valuable as anyone else (though exactly how much was never specified, but surely a great deal!).

History was abolished; all statues were torn down, and every history book was burned. After all, history was a patriarchal institution—no longer needed in the eternal world peace. The past and the future had become completely irrelevant—people lived only in the "here and now," just as it should be!

At first, there was lobster, caviar, and vanilla ice cream for everyone. But eventually, people no longer wanted to exploit animals; they wanted them to share in the collective wealth—the wealth of the global community. So they switched to vegan substitutes. A few thousand years later, someone had the idea to let plants partake as well—and from then on, they nourished themselves only with love, the highest and sole remaining value.

And so, Springland disappeared—along with all of humanity.

The most divine comedy was complete.
 

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