The Reason You (Probably) Won't Succeed, & What To Do About It

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$tackThatMoney

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Pursuing your long-term goals, especially at the outset, requires acceptance of your current situation, in addition to the difficult work required to achieve success.

This is why rising to the top 1% in anything, or even just kicking bad habits, is so difficult.

For example, if you're obese, and your goal is to lose excess weight, not only will you have to admit to yourself that you're unhappy with your physique, you can no longer eat unhealthy, dopamine-releasing foods.

Before, you might have been fat, but at least you could chow down on some pizza and beer to cope with it.

Now, you're still unappealing physically, and you don't even get to enjoy the benefits.

The same goes with:
  • Quitting smoking - you still have damaged lungs, and (likely) cough frequently, but now you don't even get to satisfy your nicotine cravings/look cool
  • Socialising (if non-NT) - you're still uncalibrated, but now you're putting yourself in situations where you can/will feel judged, and feel uncomfortable (as opposed to staying at home on Looksmax/playing video games etc.)
  • Building a business - you're still underperforming financially, but now you can no longer distract yourself with the cope 'money doesn't matter' and engage in futile leisure (Netflix, drug use)

Having a long term focus is extremely tough, which is why those who master it almost always achieve success.

The human tendency to defer to instant gratification is why gambling addicts continue to chase their losses, for example. They might logically know that the casino has an edge, but there is a chance that they could hit it big. This is why spinning the roulette wheel might be a more appealing option for someone in debt than to slowly grind their way to create a successful business/elevate their career prospects.

What Should I Do?

As with many things in life, the solution is simple, but not easy.

If you are in this position, I recommend engaging in two main behaviours.

1 - Visualisation

This is not some manifestation BS, where you do nothing and expect millions to be handed to you. Rather - it is the utilisation of your imagination to motivate you towards your main goal.

This visualisation can be both positive and negative.

Take the example of fitness. If you are overweight and trying to remedy the situation, take some time each day (doesn't have to be more than 10 minutes), to:

  • Remember situations where people belittled you for your weight, opportunities you missed, etc. (negative motivation - using your anger as a tool)
  • Imagine yourself transformed - the amazing new benefits you would experience - both generally (positive - looking better, feeling healthier), and proving those who previously mistreated you wrong (negative motivation - the pursuit of an ultimate 'fuck you' - more powerful than words could ever be)

2 - Accountability

Having an accountability partner/group to keep you in check minimises the need for willpower.

My friend and I are both trying to quit smoking cigarettes. On two nights where we socialised with other friends, we wagered one another $100 that we wouldn't smoke a cigarette. That is, if he smoked and I didn't, I would get $100, and vice versa.

This removed all willpower from the situation. There were points where I had cravings - and then promptly remembered our bet. At that point it was no longer a decision - it wasn't worth the money to me (in addition to the negative health effects), so I didn't smoke.

//

If anyone could use any accountability, feel free to reach out.

As always, if you're reading this, I wish you every success. Life is difficult, but engaging in certain behaviours can make it easier and more enjoyable.
 
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Dn rd greycel moment
Regardless, I appreciate the bump. Your futile attempt to belittle me will increase this post's visibility and provide value to those who are not so far gone as you.
 
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Regardless, I appreciate the bump. Your futile attempt to belittle me will increase this post's visibility and provide value to those who are not so far gone as you.
This forum has a lot of philosophers

I am glad that there is yet one more and wanted to bump post

No need to be triggered, your IQ will be appreciated no worries bro
 
High IQ especially the first part, but visualisation and accountability is basic stuff tbh
 
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High IQ especially the first part, but visualisation and accountability is basic stuff tbh
Thank you for the feedback. Could you share any lesser-known motivational strategies?
 
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Thank you for the feedback. Could you share any lesser-known motivational strategies?
Accountability is powerful don't get me wrong. Usually the best techniques are more personal, for instance making rules helps me a lot but that's because for some reason it's harder for me to break a rule that I set for myself than to actually do the thing. When I was a mentalcel I successfully forced myself to approach girls using rules and self-threats. I wouldn't say that's healthy but that can help.

More healthy and generic :
- journaling and setting milestones
- dedicated rewards, where instead of tyrannising yourself you negotiate with yourself. I used it very successfully to get into the habit of meditating by buying some crackers I liked and only ate one or two after I meditated in the morning. Very powerful for building habits.
- trade-offs are similar in that you let go of some pressure, for example if you want to leanmaxx and it's getting hard you can say okay let me just eat that thing, but in exchange I won't eat that and that. Trade-offs can't always be used in things where it's all or nothing, nofap for instance.

Trade-offs and especially rewards can and should be used in conjunction with setting milestones for long-term goals.
Those two are powerful because they hijack the trigger-behaviour-reward process of your mind, but the reward absolutely need to be specific to the behaviour + trigger couple. It really doesn't work as well if you have the same reward for different things, bc of our brains are wired.
Also for that you need to trust yourself, if you can't resist eating the crackers you bought for a purpose or can't resist playing that specific vidya then don't try and find another reward that you can actually reserve for that, or it will lessen your ability to negotiate with yourself
 
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it’s all about taking small steps and gaining confidence... you talk about business but truthfully you need to earn 500 in passive income before you take it more seriously

life just beats down certain people harder than others, for example if you’re a 5’0 man chances are you won’t have the character or mental strength after being treated like shit for so long to be happy with life and “ascend”
 
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This forum has a lot of philosophers

I am glad that there is yet one more and wanted to bump post

No need to be triggered, your IQ will be appreciated no worries bro
jfl post got deleted
 
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i was gonna call you a faggot and say I didn't read but you're pretty high IQ so I read every word of it. Bump
 
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Holy shit the visualisation and remembering getting mocked for being fat part hit me different

Sticky this in best of the best
 
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no this for my lower third
 
good advice
 
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Holy shit the visualisation and remembering getting mocked for being fat part hit me different

Sticky this in best of the best
Thank you.

I should caveat that this strategy can result in excess negative-self talk. Whilst it is important to use the past to motivate oneself, it is also worth bearing in mind that having a (mostly) optimistic internal dialogue is necessary for good psychological health.

As with all things, the key is balance.

I struggle with this myself - one might adopt a Stoic (emotionally controlled, indifferent to the hardships of life) philosophy, but this is not necessarily compatible with the more Hedonistic (motivated by base desires, like being promiscuous or crushing one's competition) tendencies that many young men strive to satisfy.

If anyone has any thoughts on achieving this balance, your thoughts would be appreciated.

Best.
 
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Nice thread, and holy shit I was doing the visuliation part way before I knew about it. I was imagining myself gymmaxxed / leanmaxxed and softmaxxed and all the good benefits and remembering the non-NT moments I did / autistic and it motivates me to keep going. Don't got no accountability shit but nice thread, +1 like
 
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@$tackThatMoney id like to msg u accountability etc

It doesn't allow me to do that

Thanks
 
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Good thread
 
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Thread Good
 
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bump
 
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thx gj
 
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