BigJimsWornOutTires
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Bruce Springsteen gave another blazing speech during his concert over the weekend. He said to the partially empty stadium, “Our democracy is under attack. I am under attack.” Bruce tightened his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows and continued, “MAGA terrorists are now mocking my song, I’m On Fire. Those motherfuckers are calling me a sexual predator. This is happening now.”
Some of his fans sighed, some of them covered their eyes with their hands as Springsteen carried on, “To set the record straight, once and for all. I was not stalking a child in the song, I’m On Fire. I was safeguarding my soon-to-be wife from other interested parties.”
Bruce grabbed his crotch and readjusted the small package contents. Re-tightening his mouth and wrinkling his forehead, he continued, “It’s difficult for a 7-year-old girl to survive this cruel, republican world without a husband. So that’s what my fire song was about. But the hate I have received shows the world how corrupt Trump’s America has gotten. This is happening now.”
As some fans called it the night and left the concert, the singer pushed on, “I’d like to introduce for the first time the revised edition of I’m On Fire.”
Clearing his throat, The Boss started brushing his guitar strings with his red, white, and blue pick as he stared at a pink-haired toddler in the arms of a blue-haired woman with a bushy beard. He began, “Hey, little baby, is your mommy away? Did she go and leave you all alone in the crib? I got a naughty desire.” Bruce winked at the forced gay tot. “Oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.”
“Let the Boss be your pacifier, and together we can fulfill my desire. Don’t be a MAGA crier. Oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.”
“Sometimes it’s like running while drunken on an island, chasing pretty little things to kiss and gobble. At night she wakes up with her diaper soakened wet…”
Some of his fans sighed, some of them covered their eyes with their hands as Springsteen carried on, “To set the record straight, once and for all. I was not stalking a child in the song, I’m On Fire. I was safeguarding my soon-to-be wife from other interested parties.”
Bruce grabbed his crotch and readjusted the small package contents. Re-tightening his mouth and wrinkling his forehead, he continued, “It’s difficult for a 7-year-old girl to survive this cruel, republican world without a husband. So that’s what my fire song was about. But the hate I have received shows the world how corrupt Trump’s America has gotten. This is happening now.”
As some fans called it the night and left the concert, the singer pushed on, “I’d like to introduce for the first time the revised edition of I’m On Fire.”
Clearing his throat, The Boss started brushing his guitar strings with his red, white, and blue pick as he stared at a pink-haired toddler in the arms of a blue-haired woman with a bushy beard. He began, “Hey, little baby, is your mommy away? Did she go and leave you all alone in the crib? I got a naughty desire.” Bruce winked at the forced gay tot. “Oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.”
“Let the Boss be your pacifier, and together we can fulfill my desire. Don’t be a MAGA crier. Oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.”
“Sometimes it’s like running while drunken on an island, chasing pretty little things to kiss and gobble. At night she wakes up with her diaper soakened wet…”
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