The thin slice judgement autism blackpill has completely destroyed whatever is left of my mind

[Turtle]

Like I knew being autistic was a fucking curse from day one, but I didn't know it was quite THIS bad, the fact that people can just tell within MILLISECONDS and instantly dislike you because of subtle autistic facial features and mannerisms and shit, and the fact that it DOESN'T FUCKING CHANGE over time, people don't just "get used" to you, if someone's brain automatically registers you as creepy and weird you STAY creepy and weird, and the ONLY thing that seems to offset this judgement is people already knowing you're autistic beforehand, that's it, I knew humans were fucking horrendous creatures but this is just something else entirely, like Jesus Christ, good fucking lord it's so much agony

It's made me feel like urgently suicidal now, by urgent I mean it goes beyond just being like "muh I'm sad and I wanna rope", it's like a genuine urgent and almost panicky NEED to escape this existence and take my life, it's similar to the urgency of needing to escape a sinking car, it's like oh my fucking god I actually NEED to fucking escape this life, it's unbearable

It's made everything suddenly make sense, all the stares and shitty treatment I get from randomers when I was in college and now when I'm at the gym, it's because their fucking reptile brains detect that I have something wrong with me and they don't even realise that their brain is doing this they just fucking find me creepy and strange

I'm in so much fucking pain, it hurts so fucking much it's like knives in my stomach, it fucking hurts so much oh my GOD

 

[Navity]

We heard it the first time vro

 

[nbfmyb]

Like I knew being autistic was a fucking curse from day one, but I didn't know it was quite THIS bad, the fact that people can just tell within MILLISECONDS and instantly dislike you because of subtle autistic facial features and mannerisms and shit, and the fact that it DOESN'T FUCKING CHANGE over time, people don't just "get used" to you, if someone's brain automatically registers you as creepy and weird you STAY creepy and weird, and the ONLY thing that seems to offset this judgement is people already knowing you're autistic beforehand, that's it, I knew humans were fucking horrendous creatures but this is just something else entirely, like Jesus Christ, good fucking lord it's so much agony

It's made me feel like urgently suicidal now, by urgent I mean it goes beyond just being like "muh I'm sad and I wanna rope", it's like a genuine urgent and almost panicky NEED to escape this existence and take my life, it's similar to the urgency of needing to escape a sinking car, it's like oh my fucking god I actually NEED to fucking escape this life, it's unbearable

It's made everything suddenly make sense, all the stares and shitty treatment I get from randomers when I was in college and now when I'm at the gym, it's because their fucking reptile brains detect that I have something wrong with me and they don't even realise that their brain is doing this they just fucking find me creepy and strange

I'm in so much fucking pain, it hurts so fucking much it's like knives in my stomach, it fucking hurts so much oh my GOD

dnr