shedontluv-U
Not permanently VIP does that mean I cant be happy
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2026
- Posts
- 2,172
- Reputation
- 2,736
THE TIME EVERYTIME I REMEMBER THAT I GENUINLY TRULY THINK ABOUT KILLING MYSLEF NO JOKE AND MAYBE I DESERVED TO GET MOLESTED BY THIS CREEPY WHITE GUY
At that time, I was going through a period of very low self-confidence.
I had just started growing out my dreadlocks. . The real reason was my eyes. They made me look like a zombie: tired, strange, almost violent. Plus, some member of my family had already made negative comments about it, and those remarks stuck in my mind.
So I started growing my hair out, hoping that one day my dreadlocks would fall over my face and maybe cover my eyes. The problem was, they were barely three centimeters long.
My house was about a fifteen-minute walk from school, so I often walked home while the school buses were leaving the parking lot.
As usual, I walked with my head down. like in the looser meme lol
One day, a group of popular girls approached me.
One of them asked me,
"Why do you never look people in the eyes when you talk to them?"
The truth is, looking someone in the eyes made me extremely uncomfortable. I found that contact way too personal, and I was mostly afraid that the person in front of me would start staring at my eyes and notice the flaw in my stonnable worthy eyes.
and another question:
"Why do you always lower your head when you walk?"
I thought that by lowering my head, dreadlocks might hide my eyes a little. Even though they were very short, hoping people notice my hair more than my eyes.
In my mind, they were trying to humiliate and mock me.
One of the girls was friends with the white dude who bullied me at school, so I was convinced they were making fun of me. They were joking around it was the era when the "bombastic side eye" was trendy on tiktok and I felt like they were mostly trying to make me uncomfortable.
I didn't really want to participate, but they kept forcing me and kept talking to me.
At one point, one of them started changing her uniform. We were at a private school, so everyone had a uniform.
Then the conversation changed...
They started talking about some drama involving a girl we gonna call. Rebecca , was a friend of the white guy who was harassing me and the girl who SA me with her friends.
at that moment, I completely panicked inside.
I was convinced they thought I sexxually assaulted Rebecca.
At that time, my perspective was very paranoid. I thought that if all white boys were racist, then white girls were too. In my mind, I was convinced they automatically saw Black boys as rapists or criminals.
So while they were talking about this, I thought they were indirectly talking about me.
To get out of the situation, I walked faster to get ahead of them.
For a few seconds, they stopped talking.
Then one of them said,
"So, what do you think about Rebecca?"
Since Rebecca was friends with my bully, I immediately thought the question was a trap. So I answered that I didn't really know her and that I didn't particularly like her.
Then, the girl who had changed her uniform started telling me about a new fast-food restaurant that had just opened in the small town where I lived.
A fried chicken restaurant.
Again, my brain interpreted this as a racist attack.
She added that she was sure she could eat more than me.
While she was talking, she stared at me. I was 5'11", and 6 feet tall with my shoes on. She was so short that I thought the dreadlocks I used as a shield were useless.
I was convinced she was staring at the monstrosity that is my eyes, unable to look away.
When I tried to answer, I started to stutter.
There were five very pretty girls in front of me, all staring. Buses were passing by, and I felt like the whole school could see what was happening.
Seeing that I couldn't open my mouth she said .
"Don't worry, I'll pay my nigga."
At that moment, I was so uncomfortable that I left immediately, walking as fast as I could.
, I was convinced they were going to lynch me.
But a year later, thinking back on that scene, I realized that .
I had completely misinterpreted the situation.
In that predominantly white school, many people didn't even understand that saying the n-word could be offensive and thought it was some kind of greeting between Black people.
The girl was trying to flirt with me and ask me out.
RHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HJSGUSABAISBNAIO WHY BRO WHY ????? BRO I HAD SO MANY HINT IF I WAS NOT A FUCKING RETARD I WOULD BE UNVIERGED LONG AGO FUCKIGN LIFE OF SHIT I HATE MY LIFE HOPFULLY SURGERY WILL HEAL ME AKSHKIAHSIOASUUSHA
THE ONLY WAY I COPE IS TO KNOW THAT I WAS SO A HIGNHT HINIB TYRONE LITE THAT YALL THINK IM LARPING LOL
I SWEAR ON ALL MY FAMILY HEAD AFTER CEGEP I WILL GET MY SUBPERIOSTEAL MIDFACE LIFT AND SOOF FAT GRAFT AND SOME FAT GRAFT FOR UEE
IF I DO NOT DO THAT I WILL ASK RANDOM HERE TO COME MURDERE ME WITH A KNIFE I SWEAR ON ALL I HAVE THIS FUCKING EYES MAKE MY LIFE SO HARD MAN I SWEAR I WILL HAVE THISA SURGERY I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEER I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWARE I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR I SWEER I SWEAR. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Edit :I’m genuinely serious if you REALLY REALLY hate me and think I will not do the surgery and need money come pm I have the money and I’m serious the money transfer will be after the "act" so if you need money genuinly hate me because I’m weird or maybe black ( idc) and are not scared to do “big things “ and ready to travel come pm
We will negotiate the the price I can transfer 40% before the "act “ and I will automate the second transfer because I will not be here to do it lol .
Last edited:

to defend myself for the worse shit I did