Deleted member 6403
Made It Out The Hood
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2020
- Posts
- 56,252
- Reputation
- 96,760
Ok, so naturally quarantining has got us all a bit down in the dumps. For me personally, the boredom mixed with the loneliness has lead to some misadventures by myself in my house, but this is the time it went OUT of the house.
We know the cycle. Boredom and isolation lead to loneliness, loneliness leads to horniness, and horniness leads to fucking catastrophes. Last month I was considering buying myself an actual dildo, as I've never before had or used a sex toy in any way. I looked on different online stores, and while the selection was daunting I was also pleased to know I would never be short of options. That being said, my dumbass decided it would be fun to play the age old game of "where in the house and with what can I spontaneously fuck myself?" Keep it spicy, and thoroughly disinfect things. (I know I've gone crazy, please let this be a safe space for me.)
One of the many things I put inside myself was my lint roller, the handle part has a great curve to it and it was really sturdy plastic that's easy to clean. In fact, it did the job so well I almost decided against buying the toy and just sticking with the tried and true method. It quickly acquired an honored position on my nightstand.
Fast forward to yesterday. I quickly had to get ready for work, and something went wrong in the dryer and got an unbelievable amount of lint on my uniform. I yanked my sex partner off her position of honor and started frantically rolling lint off my clothes, but it was too late. I had 10 minutes to be there, and I live 13 minutes away. Without thinking, I put the love of my life in my purse and ran out the door, and I barely made it on time. I clocked in, put my things in the break room, finished rolling the filth off my shirt, tucked my mistress deep into my coat pocket (it has DEEP pockets) and got to work.
It was a busy day, and by the time I got home I crashed hard. I slept for 12 hours, and the idea of jacking off didn't even occur to me at that point. However, the next morning I went to retrieve my lady friend from her spot in my coat, and she was NOT THERE. I started panicking. I ran out to the car. Nope. Checked everywhere I might have placed her. Negative.
By this time I was pretty sure I knew what had happened, but it wasn't confirmed until today. I went into work, clocked in, went to the break room, and lo and behold she was sitting out in the open on the break table like a prized whore.
Right at that moment my coworker walked in and asked if that was my lint roller. I said yes, how did it get on the table. She said that someone found it on the floor under the coat rack. She put it there in case whoever it belonged to saw it and could take it home, but she'd walked in on multiple people using it.
I resisted the urge to look at my lover and ask her how she could do this to me just as my fucking BOSS comes in and says "oh, great. We needed a lint roller" and proceeds to rub my pussy pheromones all over his jacket. At that point I just walked away. Everyone in my workplace has used it multiple times now. I fucking give up. This is the life my beloved has chosen and I guess I get to live with the knowledge that all my coworkers have trace amounts of my cum on their clothes.
TL;DR: I accidentally brought my lint roller/make-shift dildo into work just as my coworkers began to embrace the ideals of socialism.
We know the cycle. Boredom and isolation lead to loneliness, loneliness leads to horniness, and horniness leads to fucking catastrophes. Last month I was considering buying myself an actual dildo, as I've never before had or used a sex toy in any way. I looked on different online stores, and while the selection was daunting I was also pleased to know I would never be short of options. That being said, my dumbass decided it would be fun to play the age old game of "where in the house and with what can I spontaneously fuck myself?" Keep it spicy, and thoroughly disinfect things. (I know I've gone crazy, please let this be a safe space for me.)
One of the many things I put inside myself was my lint roller, the handle part has a great curve to it and it was really sturdy plastic that's easy to clean. In fact, it did the job so well I almost decided against buying the toy and just sticking with the tried and true method. It quickly acquired an honored position on my nightstand.
Fast forward to yesterday. I quickly had to get ready for work, and something went wrong in the dryer and got an unbelievable amount of lint on my uniform. I yanked my sex partner off her position of honor and started frantically rolling lint off my clothes, but it was too late. I had 10 minutes to be there, and I live 13 minutes away. Without thinking, I put the love of my life in my purse and ran out the door, and I barely made it on time. I clocked in, put my things in the break room, finished rolling the filth off my shirt, tucked my mistress deep into my coat pocket (it has DEEP pockets) and got to work.
It was a busy day, and by the time I got home I crashed hard. I slept for 12 hours, and the idea of jacking off didn't even occur to me at that point. However, the next morning I went to retrieve my lady friend from her spot in my coat, and she was NOT THERE. I started panicking. I ran out to the car. Nope. Checked everywhere I might have placed her. Negative.
By this time I was pretty sure I knew what had happened, but it wasn't confirmed until today. I went into work, clocked in, went to the break room, and lo and behold she was sitting out in the open on the break table like a prized whore.
Right at that moment my coworker walked in and asked if that was my lint roller. I said yes, how did it get on the table. She said that someone found it on the floor under the coat rack. She put it there in case whoever it belonged to saw it and could take it home, but she'd walked in on multiple people using it.
I resisted the urge to look at my lover and ask her how she could do this to me just as my fucking BOSS comes in and says "oh, great. We needed a lint roller" and proceeds to rub my pussy pheromones all over his jacket. At that point I just walked away. Everyone in my workplace has used it multiple times now. I fucking give up. This is the life my beloved has chosen and I guess I get to live with the knowledge that all my coworkers have trace amounts of my cum on their clothes.
TL;DR: I accidentally brought my lint roller/make-shift dildo into work just as my coworkers began to embrace the ideals of socialism.
