Tinder was like a desert mirage.

[IDWBM]

Hey guys, I know that no one wants to hear from a greycel in wake of the TikTok problem, which I just learned about, but I am only a quiet lurker and you see I have been for years. It's only this year I've decided to post some more. I've never cared to use TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter in my life.

I had a shit experience on Tinder this year. In January, I made a Tinder completely by random and forced myself to use it as an experiment. I wanted to use it for one month just to see what would happen, and I got gold because it didn’t cost that much. I had used Tinder only once before when I was 18, I was fatter and looked much worse. Back then I think I got two likes total and didn’t use the app for much more than a month either. Now, I had just gotten a fresh haircut and shave, and I was 50 pounds lighter than I was on my previous Tinder profile.

This time, I was very surprised. I got between 1 and 5 likes every day, and I never swiped through the stack, just confirmed or denied profiles that liked mine because I had gold. The likes didn’t come from 10/10 Stacey goddesses, but a good few definitely came from girls I considered hot and out of my league, and it may be because I'm in a densely populated area. I really, genuinely wanted them, and I would end up actually going on dates with 7 of the Tinder girls. Rather than talk about them individually, I have to mention the same general thing that happened with all of them.

When I talked to these women online, they honestly treated me like a God. They seemed obsessed with my body and personality and they drowned me in messages. I even sent them more selfies, but no nudes, and they didn't have a problem with my selfies compared to my profile pics. Most of them promised or discussed sex or kinks with me, and one of them sent nudes before the first date. I was blown away by it. I also made sure they wanted to actually date me as a boyfriend, not just hookup.

Also, it may be hard to believe coming from an incel, but while I do have other mental health issues (as all these girls had much worse mental health than me,) I don’t have social anxiety. I still have and make many friends and acquaintances, and girls do not intimidate me, even though I’m still not successful with them. While I may feel upset for other reasons, I simply don't feel fear or anxiety in social situations. So you may just have to take my word that I wasn’t acting autistic or bizarre on these dates. I maintained eye contact, had a relaxed tone of voice, mostly smiled and listened, and built the conversation off of what they were talking about.

Now here comes the kicker.

I went on a date with the first girl, and as soon as I saw her, I asked her how she was. She said something like “Ehh, [blah blah blah,] but it doesn’t matter…” in a dejected voice. It made me uncomfortable but I did not register why at the time.

TL;DR she was bored and quiet on the date, said she “wasn’t in a good spot for a relationship,” at the end, and we stayed “friends” for a short time, as I wanted to pick her brain a little but nothing more. In that time I got her to casually admit that the real reason she didn’t like me was my nose being too thin, bad teeth and bad haircut. She was the only one I got actual feedback from, but it was weeks after my last Tinder date. I blocked her soon afterwards.

The same general thing happened with the rest of them. I kept trying because I thought it was a fluke, which was stupid, because I disappointed them all, one was even clearly pissed but would not mention why. I thought even if I had changed a little, I still was not catfishing anyone and did not edit the photos.

So, obviously they thought what happened here is that they thought I did not look like the pictures. I am ashamed it took me so long to put two and two together. But I eventually saw how using the same pictures for an entire month could have been inaccurate. I guess my hair had grown, I’d gotten stubble, and my face bloated. Also, the Tinder pics did not show my teeth or the fact that I am balding, which weighed heavily against me, and I was doing the suck-cheeks smile. I’m a retard for thinking that was not a big deal and that it would work out.

Since then I have been my old self. I can’t get those seven women out of my head and I have felt like shit. If my feelings get hurt by someone, it never really goes away and it leads to me clamming up more as a person. They probably don’t remember me at all and have boyfriends, I hung out with each of them for 20-30 minutes in February. I should have never used Tinder, as I have an inferiority complex akin to Elliot’s and cannot handle rejection, while I do not relate to him in any other way. I feel jealousy and envy of women and couples which has led me to angrily avoid dating and single women who I could date, which I have done for most of my life. I know all of this contrasts how I said “I am not socially autistic,” and truthfully, they may have picked up on the inward vibe that I was not exactly as I seemed, but I was rejected only for my appearance, and I know that for a fact. It’s just that I have always fantasized so hard about getting a girlfriend, and so when sex is on the table, it really brings out my neuroticisms. This still doesn’t translate to me treating other people badly, I just quietly stay in my own lane, or hang out with male friends.

It’s not even upsetting to get rejected, it was upsetting that they were all excited and then all did such a 180 in person. I'm not upset that I didn't get it, just that I barely, almost had it. I see my own faults in this story, too, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've given up again but I'm going to get my teeth cleaned and fixed and possibly my jaws fixed soon, and will also post a rating thread.

 

[comingtothisJFL]

bro how bad were you frauding those pics?? also jfl how can you say you been browsing this fourm for a long tome and still not have done the basic necessities of looksmaxxing, jfl at not doing anything before balding, premeditated measures are always the best form of prevention. anyways gl with everything and hope you make a 180

 

[SoundnVision]

Irl is always better

 

[Deleted member 19294]

You catfished them if you hid your balding

 

[St.TikTokcel]

Hey guys, I know that no one wants to hear from a greycel in wake of the TikTok problem, which I just learned about, but I am only a quiet lurker and you see I have been for years. It's only this year I've decided to post some more. I've never cared to use TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter in my life.

I had a shit experience on Tinder this year. In January, I made a Tinder completely by random and forced myself to use it as an experiment. I wanted to use it for one month just to see what would happen, and I got gold because it didn’t cost that much. I had used Tinder only once before when I was 18, I was fatter and looked much worse. Back then I think I got two likes total and didn’t use the app for much more than a month either. Now, I had just gotten a fresh haircut and shave, and I was 50 pounds lighter than I was on my previous Tinder profile.

This time, I was very surprised. I got between 1 and 5 likes every day, and I never swiped through the stack, just confirmed or denied profiles that liked mine because I had gold. The likes didn’t come from 10/10 Stacey goddesses, but a good few definitely came from girls I considered hot and out of my league, and it may be because I'm in a densely populated area. I really, genuinely wanted them, and I would end up actually going on dates with 7 of the Tinder girls. Rather than talk about them individually, I have to mention the same general thing that happened with all of them.

When I talked to these women online, they honestly treated me like a God. They seemed obsessed with my body and personality and they drowned me in messages. I even sent them more selfies, but no nudes, and they didn't have a problem with my selfies compared to my profile pics. Most of them promised or discussed sex or kinks with me, and one of them sent nudes before the first date. I was blown away by it. I also made sure they wanted to actually date me as a boyfriend, not just hookup.

Also, it may be hard to believe coming from an incel, but while I do have other mental health issues (as all these girls had much worse mental health than me,) I don’t have social anxiety. I still have and make many friends and acquaintances, and girls do not intimidate me, even though I’m still not successful with them. While I may feel upset for other reasons, I simply don't feel fear or anxiety in social situations. So you may just have to take my word that I wasn’t acting autistic or bizarre on these dates. I maintained eye contact, had a relaxed tone of voice, mostly smiled and listened, and built the conversation off of what they were talking about.

Now here comes the kicker.

I went on a date with the first girl, and as soon as I saw her, I asked her how she was. She said something like “Ehh, [blah blah blah,] but it doesn’t matter…” in a dejected voice. It made me uncomfortable but I did not register why at the time.

TL;DR she was bored and quiet on the date, said she “wasn’t in a good spot for a relationship,” at the end, and we stayed “friends” for a short time, as I wanted to pick her brain a little but nothing more. In that time I got her to casually admit that the real reason she didn’t like me was my nose being too thin, bad teeth and bad haircut. She was the only one I got actual feedback from, but it was weeks after my last Tinder date. I blocked her soon afterwards.

The same general thing happened with the rest of them. I kept trying because I thought it was a fluke, which was stupid, because I disappointed them all, one was even clearly pissed but would not mention why. I thought even if I had changed a little, I still was not catfishing anyone and did not edit the photos.

So, obviously they thought what happened here is that they thought I did not look like the pictures. I am ashamed it took me so long to put two and two together. But I eventually saw how using the same pictures for an entire month could have been inaccurate. I guess my hair had grown, I’d gotten stubble, and my face bloated. Also, the Tinder pics did not show my teeth or the fact that I am balding, which weighed heavily against me, and I was doing the suck-cheeks smile. I’m a retard for thinking that was not a big deal and that it would work out.

Since then I have been my old self. I can’t get those seven women out of my head and I have felt like shit. If my feelings get hurt by someone, it never really goes away and it leads to me clamming up more as a person. They probably don’t remember me at all and have boyfriends, I hung out with each of them for 20-30 minutes in February. I should have never used Tinder, as I have an inferiority complex akin to Elliot’s and cannot handle rejection, while I do not relate to him in any other way. I feel jealousy and envy of women and couples which has led me to angrily avoid dating and single women who I could date, which I have done for most of my life. I know all of this contrasts how I said “I am not socially autistic,” and truthfully, they may have picked up on the inward vibe that I was not exactly as I seemed, but I was rejected only for my appearance, and I know that for a fact. It’s just that I have always fantasized so hard about getting a girlfriend, and so when sex is on the table, it really brings out my neuroticisms. This still doesn’t translate to me treating other people badly, I just quietly stay in my own lane, or hang out with male friends.

It’s not even upsetting to get rejected, it was upsetting that they were all excited and then all did such a 180 in person. I'm not upset that I didn't get it, just that I barely, almost had it. I see my own faults in this story, too, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've given up again but I'm going to get my teeth cleaned and fixed and possibly my jaws fixed soon, and will also post a rating thread.

Black No. 1

 

[IDWBM]

bro how bad were you frauding those pics?? also jfl how can you say you been browsing this fourm for a long tome and still not have done the basic necessities of looksmaxxing, jfl at not doing anything before balding, premeditated measures are always the best form of prevention. anyways gl with everything and hope you make a 180

Thanks for your reasonable response.
Thing is, I wasn't deliberately frauding those pics at all, and you'll see them soon, also in comparison to what I look like now.

I have been balding since 14, and at the time, I was in denial that it was MPB and didn't know what incels were. It was the worst when I was 18, almost a norwood 3. I learned more about balding (and incels) around this age and began using minox, peo, hair masks, and dermastamping, getting it back down to almost a norwood 1. However, due to being retarded, lazy, and sometimes addicted to other drugs, I didn't always take my minoxidil every day or even every week, and I admittedly failed badly in this regard. I'm back up to a norwood 2.5 again and I don't even know whether it's worth keeping anymore desu.

 

[czwarty]

It sounds really weird to me, usually the hardest part is getting the date. For me usually meeting the girl guaranteed I'd at least make out with her, and in few times when it didn't it usually was either heavy incompatibility in personality (unironically) or very huge turnoffs on her part (like, she looked worse than on pics, smoked heavily, or turned out to be too mentally unwell for me to handle lol)

If they were really so into you online via pics that they engaged in dirty talk but then treated you coldly IRL then I can't even imagine how much you frauded these photos, or you have some other bad side that you don't realise (are you short? Do you keep hygiene on point, use fragrance? Do you have squeaky voice or smoke excessively? Are you mentally ill?)
There obviously is something that ruins you for them

 

[IDWBM]

It sounds really weird to me, usually the hardest part is getting the date. For me usually meeting the girl guaranteed I'd at least make out with her, and in few times when it didn't it usually was either heavy incompatibility in personality (unironically) or very huge turnoffs on her part (like, she looked worse than on pics, smoked heavily, or turned out to be too mentally unwell for me to handle lol)

If they were really so into you online via pics that they engaged in dirty talk but then treated you coldly IRL then I can't even imagine how much you frauded these photos, or you have some other bad side that you don't realise (are you short? Do you keep hygiene on point, use fragrance? Do you have squeaky voice or smoke excessively? Are you mentally ill?)
There obviously is something that ruins you for them

To be honest, I think the issue was that my appearance changed a lot in the month I used the pics, or that they didn't understand what I really looked like. I also see how balding and bad teeth could have been invisible in my Tinder pics, but killed me. I wasn't even deliberately hiding those things, they were natural photos. I guess I looked bad upon closer inspection.
This might be even harder to believe but I'm 6'3," obsessively clean myself and don't stink, not fat, and sound like Patrick Warburton. Like I said I don't act autistic either. I do vape and do so indoors as well, but none of them seemed to really notice, even. I'm also confused which is why I ended up back here.

 

[czwarty]

Your appearance changing in a single month to descend you down to LTN (?) also sounds of somewhat low probability, unless you're a castaway stranded on a desert island or a soldier in Stalingrad kessel

 

[IDWBM]

Your appearance changing in a single month to descend you down to LTN (?) also sounds of somewhat low probability, unless you're a castaway stranded on a desert island or a soldier in Stalingrad kessel

Well, I got addicted to Spice this year. It's awful shit that fucks with your homeostasis and I feel it even crashed my T and sent my E through the goddamned roof. It's so addictive that I still have trouble with it and it's not completely gone from my life, but I want it to be.
I think it's possible. I told the full, ugly truth about myself, not sparing any details. I think my Tinder pics just caught me in an unreasonably good light.
I don't know what else it could be, I just know what happened, and how I come across as, and that I want to change. I know it's weird to say that they all did such 180s but there was virtually almost nothing wrong on my end. It might paint a better picture when I post my photos.

 

[comingtothisJFL]

Thanks for your reasonable response.
Thing is, I wasn't deliberately frauding those pics at all, and you'll see them soon, also in comparison to what I look like now.

I have been balding since 14, and at the time, I was in denial that it was MPB and didn't know what incels were. It was the worst when I was 18, almost a norwood 3. I learned more about balding (and incels) around this age and began using minox, peo, hair masks, and dermastamping, getting it back down to almost a norwood 1. However, due to being retarded, lazy, and sometimes addicted to other drugs, I didn't always take my minoxidil every day or even every week, and I admittedly failed badly in this regard. I'm back up to a norwood 2.5 again and I don't even know whether it's worth keeping anymore desu.

yea you got dealth a bad hand but very fixable, also seems like you got more personal issues than just your just looks man

 

[IDWBM]

yea you got dealth a bad hand but very fixable, also seems like you got more personal issues than just your just looks man

Yeah, I fully acknowledge that. All the best to you brocel.

 

[New Technology]

and you'll see them soon, also in comparison to what I look like now.

what do you look like and how did you look in the images?

 

[IDWBM]

what do you look like and how did you look in the images?

I'm getting the pics ready for a rating thread soon. I have pics from every month and truly this hasn't been a good year, but the experience described in this post happened in January and February.

 

[Primalsplit]

It was the Norwooding. It literally makes so much difference. You don't need to read too much into this.

 

[Deleted member 19294]

It was the Norwooding. It literally makes so much difference. You don't need to read too much into this.

Greycel hasn't taken the hairpill. Hair is life.

 

[Deleted member 17735]

>Joined Jun 15, 2019
>Norwooding

Icant

 

[IDWBM]

Greycel hasn't taken the hairpill. Hair is life.

>Joined Jun 15, 2019
>Norwooding

Icant

I'm aware of how important hair is and if I could change one thing about myself I'd definitely get a NW0. I am certainly hairpilled and more attached to my hair than most. That's also why I won't "Just shave that shit bruh no cap get a buzzcut!" Or I will be a soyjak.

But, once again, I reached an irreversible NW2 when I was a young teenager, before I knew anything about self-care let alone looksmaxxing. You guys act like I'm choosing to norwood. I've been treating it the best I can since I knew about it (albeit sometimes inconsistently due to other life issues) and have seen major improvement on the scalp and volume, but almost none on the temples. Mine is almost entirely on the temples. I don't think it would even be possible to reverse temples to a NW0. If it is, how so? I must have missed it.

I have this but with longer hair, so when it's clean and combed back or parted, you can't really see the hairline (it was this way in the pics and IRL.) Just adding more info, not coping. I agree it weighs heavily against me nonetheless.

 

[Sleeper]

Hey guys, I know that no one wants to hear from a greycel in wake of the TikTok problem, which I just learned about, but I am only a quiet lurker and you see I have been for years. It's only this year I've decided to post some more. I've never cared to use TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter in my life.

I had a shit experience on Tinder this year. In January, I made a Tinder completely by random and forced myself to use it as an experiment. I wanted to use it for one month just to see what would happen, and I got gold because it didn’t cost that much. I had used Tinder only once before when I was 18, I was fatter and looked much worse. Back then I think I got two likes total and didn’t use the app for much more than a month either. Now, I had just gotten a fresh haircut and shave, and I was 50 pounds lighter than I was on my previous Tinder profile.

This time, I was very surprised. I got between 1 and 5 likes every day, and I never swiped through the stack, just confirmed or denied profiles that liked mine because I had gold. The likes didn’t come from 10/10 Stacey goddesses, but a good few definitely came from girls I considered hot and out of my league, and it may be because I'm in a densely populated area. I really, genuinely wanted them, and I would end up actually going on dates with 7 of the Tinder girls. Rather than talk about them individually, I have to mention the same general thing that happened with all of them.

When I talked to these women online, they honestly treated me like a God. They seemed obsessed with my body and personality and they drowned me in messages. I even sent them more selfies, but no nudes, and they didn't have a problem with my selfies compared to my profile pics. Most of them promised or discussed sex or kinks with me, and one of them sent nudes before the first date. I was blown away by it. I also made sure they wanted to actually date me as a boyfriend, not just hookup.

Also, it may be hard to believe coming from an incel, but while I do have other mental health issues (as all these girls had much worse mental health than me,) I don’t have social anxiety. I still have and make many friends and acquaintances, and girls do not intimidate me, even though I’m still not successful with them. While I may feel upset for other reasons, I simply don't feel fear or anxiety in social situations. So you may just have to take my word that I wasn’t acting autistic or bizarre on these dates. I maintained eye contact, had a relaxed tone of voice, mostly smiled and listened, and built the conversation off of what they were talking about.

Now here comes the kicker.

I went on a date with the first girl, and as soon as I saw her, I asked her how she was. She said something like “Ehh, [blah blah blah,] but it doesn’t matter…” in a dejected voice. It made me uncomfortable but I did not register why at the time.

TL;DR she was bored and quiet on the date, said she “wasn’t in a good spot for a relationship,” at the end, and we stayed “friends” for a short time, as I wanted to pick her brain a little but nothing more. In that time I got her to casually admit that the real reason she didn’t like me was my nose being too thin, bad teeth and bad haircut. She was the only one I got actual feedback from, but it was weeks after my last Tinder date. I blocked her soon afterwards.

The same general thing happened with the rest of them. I kept trying because I thought it was a fluke, which was stupid, because I disappointed them all, one was even clearly pissed but would not mention why. I thought even if I had changed a little, I still was not catfishing anyone and did not edit the photos.

So, obviously they thought what happened here is that they thought I did not look like the pictures. I am ashamed it took me so long to put two and two together. But I eventually saw how using the same pictures for an entire month could have been inaccurate. I guess my hair had grown, I’d gotten stubble, and my face bloated. Also, the Tinder pics did not show my teeth or the fact that I am balding, which weighed heavily against me, and I was doing the suck-cheeks smile. I’m a retard for thinking that was not a big deal and that it would work out.

Since then I have been my old self. I can’t get those seven women out of my head and I have felt like shit. If my feelings get hurt by someone, it never really goes away and it leads to me clamming up more as a person. They probably don’t remember me at all and have boyfriends, I hung out with each of them for 20-30 minutes in February. I should have never used Tinder, as I have an inferiority complex akin to Elliot’s and cannot handle rejection, while I do not relate to him in any other way. I feel jealousy and envy of women and couples which has led me to angrily avoid dating and single women who I could date, which I have done for most of my life. I know all of this contrasts how I said “I am not socially autistic,” and truthfully, they may have picked up on the inward vibe that I was not exactly as I seemed, but I was rejected only for my appearance, and I know that for a fact. It’s just that I have always fantasized so hard about getting a girlfriend, and so when sex is on the table, it really brings out my neuroticisms. This still doesn’t translate to me treating other people badly, I just quietly stay in my own lane, or hang out with male friends.

It’s not even upsetting to get rejected, it was upsetting that they were all excited and then all did such a 180 in person. I'm not upset that I didn't get it, just that I barely, almost had it. I see my own faults in this story, too, but I needed to get it off my chest somewhere. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've given up again but I'm going to get my teeth cleaned and fixed and possibly my jaws fixed soon, and will also post a rating thread.

Maybe you didnt look like your pics like others have said but this just sounds like standard women behaviour to me. Chicks you meet on dating apps are not going to be looking for nice interactions or meaningful conversations. Theyre not going to have any personality or be concerned about talking about anything or putting in any effort, they'll be expecting you to carry everything 110%. Forget about trying to behave like a normal person, if you can get dates then just push for sex as aggressively as possible once the ice is broken but still do so in a charming way. If you dont believe me then just try it and see how it goes.

Keep in mind that if a guy is not making sexual advances towards her or constantly flirting or hinting at sex then theyre just not going to see you that way. A guy that never makes moves or never flirts or makes advances or tries to get sex just wont get it then. Women only aggressively pursue guys they are very attracted to (Chads) and since they have zero game they only thing they know to do is throw themselves at him. If you're not chad then you have to be the aggressive one, its all that they respond to whether they act like it or not

 

[IDWBM]

Maybe you didnt look like your pics like others have said but this just sounds like standard women behaviour to me. Chicks you meet on dating apps are not going to be looking for nice interactions or meaningful conversations. Theyre not going to have any personality or be concerned about talking about anything or putting in any effort, they'll be expecting you to carry everything 110%. Forget about trying to behave like a normal person, if you can get dates then just push for sex as aggressively as possible once the ice is broken but still do so in a charming way. If you dont believe me then just try it and see how it goes.

Keep in mind that if a guy is not making sexual advances towards her or constantly flirting or hinting at sex then theyre just not going to see you that way. A guy that never makes moves or never flirts or makes advances or tries to get sex just wont get it then. Women only aggressively pursue guys they are very attracted to (Chads) and since they have zero game they only thing they know to do is throw themselves at him. If you're not chad then you have to be the aggressive one, its all that they respond to whether they act like it or not

Thanks for your kind response. You have a good point that being "too polite" does happen. However, not to shoot down your thoughts, but I don't think that's what happened here.

They were extremely interested online, but seemed to lose any semblance of that in person from the moment they saw me. If I was "aggressive" about sex they probably would have called police. They gave off uncomfortable and disappointed vibes when I was with them and they shut me down soon after. They all had basically the same reaction and one mentioned afterwards that I looked noticeably different from my photos. If any of them actually wanted me in-person the way they did online (treated me like Chad,) me making unassuming polite conversation wouldn't have stopped it. They'd at least be nervous in a good way rather than nervous in a bad way.

 

[Sleeper]

Thanks for your kind response. You have a good point that being "too polite" does happen. However, not to shoot down your thoughts, but I don't think that's what happened here.

They were extremely interested online, but seemed to lose any semblance of that in person from the moment they saw me. If I was "aggressive" about sex they probably would have called police. They gave off uncomfortable and disappointed vibes when I was with them and they shut me down soon after. They all had basically the same reaction and one mentioned afterwards that I looked noticeably different from my photos. If any of them actually wanted me in-person the way they did online (treated me like Chad,) me making unassuming polite conversation wouldn't have stopped it. They'd at least be nervous in a good way rather than nervous in a bad way.

If it was your looks, did you do much posing in the pictures? Even if you feel like you didnt fraud your pictures to the extent that it caused this much of a difference, the angle and expression you take your pictures with can look totally different to how you hold yourself naturally. Set up your phone a short distance from yourself, start a video and just hold yourself naturally and look straight ahead and turn side to side, you might notice that you look totally different in motion than in picture. In motion video is closer to how people really see you