D
Deleted member 23558
God make my neurotransmitters great inc
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2022
- Posts
- 64,837
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i have low threshold for happiness, no will to power or big dream; i am more than contempt just stocking shelves supermarket my current job, as long as i just have dishwasher and even 1 bed small apartment, health, girlfriend that is more than enough. for me, when i lose virginity, thatll be like winning the lottery, the greatest moment of my life, i dont know what comes after that, what purpose to life then on.
maybe start family and create prodigy child teach him visualisation, lucid dreaming, memory palace, speed reading, memory games liek dual n back simon says, homeschool read high level and philosophical books. i notice this common tenet of sidis and terrance tao. then couple this with ramanujan and tesla who had veery good visualisation at young age. to prime a brain like this in formative yrs where incredibly neuroplastic. important to balance social life too tho otherwise hell end up non nt af suicide like sidis. make him what i could never be.
i dont rlly care to do this either tho, i dont care to help this world by creating a child who could potentially be a massive butterfly effect n contributer, i just wanna experience sex then ive completed life, idk what happens next, its like killed boss vid game or finished season tv show. whats next in life after u attained it all, the highest form of pleasure, sex. id be contempt to die after, i have lived very unique and good life, everything im conempt with, i just missed sex only.
ur case would be finlly leanmaxxing. after conquesting the dream surmounting the mountain to see theres now nothing left, this reality honestly barely offers much. same if i reincarnate alien high kardashev scale. i think returning to nothingness, buddhist escaping samsara may actually be the key.
i dont ascend to mog other men, i find no joy in that, but these women, they ellicit evil. they only choose men who mog other men so i am forced now to become that evil. i dont like or care beating others, idk i always had this imposter syndrome, to win another loses, why do i deserve to win more than the other guy. why god chooses some, maybe undeserving, from sheer chance, predetermined from birth to win and good ppl to truly suffer. maybe coz i was awlays the weak inferior guy i understand and see it more than them, they mog uncognizant and unaware of the pain they inflict on ithers by doing so. ppl like this, born into luxury with little pain, their oversee their privelige, just world fallacy, they falsely believe god ordained them the right to mog others, they mog without guilt, i dont think thats a privilege abused dog like me will ever have unfortunately. ive been trying to find a way to justify commiting evil without reprieve. this is where i relate to hamlet also, to kill or not to kill, that is the question. if i can find justification for my evil will that absolve my sin, or is it too risky, the reward is little with potential big cost. but i cant deny, this inclination, almost primal, it feels natural and i wont be punished for it if im smart to not be caught
maybe start family and create prodigy child teach him visualisation, lucid dreaming, memory palace, speed reading, memory games liek dual n back simon says, homeschool read high level and philosophical books. i notice this common tenet of sidis and terrance tao. then couple this with ramanujan and tesla who had veery good visualisation at young age. to prime a brain like this in formative yrs where incredibly neuroplastic. important to balance social life too tho otherwise hell end up non nt af suicide like sidis. make him what i could never be.
i dont rlly care to do this either tho, i dont care to help this world by creating a child who could potentially be a massive butterfly effect n contributer, i just wanna experience sex then ive completed life, idk what happens next, its like killed boss vid game or finished season tv show. whats next in life after u attained it all, the highest form of pleasure, sex. id be contempt to die after, i have lived very unique and good life, everything im conempt with, i just missed sex only.
ur case would be finlly leanmaxxing. after conquesting the dream surmounting the mountain to see theres now nothing left, this reality honestly barely offers much. same if i reincarnate alien high kardashev scale. i think returning to nothingness, buddhist escaping samsara may actually be the key.
i dont ascend to mog other men, i find no joy in that, but these women, they ellicit evil. they only choose men who mog other men so i am forced now to become that evil. i dont like or care beating others, idk i always had this imposter syndrome, to win another loses, why do i deserve to win more than the other guy. why god chooses some, maybe undeserving, from sheer chance, predetermined from birth to win and good ppl to truly suffer. maybe coz i was awlays the weak inferior guy i understand and see it more than them, they mog uncognizant and unaware of the pain they inflict on ithers by doing so. ppl like this, born into luxury with little pain, their oversee their privelige, just world fallacy, they falsely believe god ordained them the right to mog others, they mog without guilt, i dont think thats a privilege abused dog like me will ever have unfortunately. ive been trying to find a way to justify commiting evil without reprieve. this is where i relate to hamlet also, to kill or not to kill, that is the question. if i can find justification for my evil will that absolve my sin, or is it too risky, the reward is little with potential big cost. but i cant deny, this inclination, almost primal, it feels natural and i wont be punished for it if im smart to not be caught
