Today

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Growth Plate

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I'm forced to attend school physically today. It'll be my first real day of high school. I've seen Instagram accounts of students from the school. There are legit Chads there ready to bully me. It's also known as some "smart kids" school or some shit full of Eugenes ready to bully me for my mental retardation. It'll either be the worst day of my life or perhaps not that bad and I'll get rid of one of my greatest fears. I know stressing out about this would sound utterly stupid and preposterous to many here because they're not as bad looking and not as retarded as I am. I always get the same shit and every school year it gets worse. I get constantly picked on, disrespected, and socially ostracized due to my looks. Any kindness I receive is purely and clearly out of pity. I also have a habit of making these "big mistakes" every day that only a mentally retarded person would do and it's so fucking embarrassing. I likely have some form(s) of autism tbh. Unfortunately, I merely had like what... 5 hours of sleep? So I'm more likely to make said "big mistakes".

I usually don't open up like this here, but accepting that I was gonna rope yesterday made me become far more low inhib.


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I have like 30 days to deal with. At least it's not the whole year, I guess.
 

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