Brus Wane
A Man Is 1 of 3 Things: Bull, Incel or Cuckold
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2022
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Found out in a ridiculous way - she was texting the guy across the couch from me, acting secretive and partially hiding the screen with her hand. Something so strange, that I went Inspector Gadget with my phone camera and quietly zoomed in from where I was sitting. It was a bit blurry, but I could make out the text of my wife complimenting another man for his take charge attitude and how sexy that it is, and how much she loves that about him. He is texting back that she's sexy too and they exchange blush and kiss emojies. They go on to make small chat about each others dream vacation plans. She comments that I never want to so anything and he laughs at what a loser I am. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I tried to not react while reading this.
We were living together for 12 years, married for one. Would have married earlier if covid didn't delay things.
I'm retired from the military with disability from some overseas stuff, and have been going back to school while going through therapy. I will admit to having issues like night terrors, anxiety, being moody/negative sometimes. I have been doing weekly therapy to work on this stuff. I've never done anything abusive towards her, but I can understand that having a personality like that can be a drag to be around.
I've always tried to love her and give her everything she asked for. We have a house together. My family saw and treated her as a second daughter. I was close with her parents. I cooked seven days a week for her. I'd setup her foot soaker for her when she had a long day at work. Would make sure I made her tea just right in the morning.
She started a new job last spring. I thought things were going great, we were both moving in a positive direction. I was going to school, she was moving up in her career.
In hindsight I missed so many warning signs. Taking up a new hobby (violin). Starting to get more dressed up for work. Wearing perfume, when she never did before. Wearing jewelry to work, when previously this was something she only did on special occasions.
Turns my stomach a bit, looking back at the times she asked me to help her put on a necklace I got before work, knowing now she was wearing it to look nice for some other guy. I was so blind and dumb.
After I read the sexy time exchange, I confronted her immediately. Really dumb, I know, but I was being emotional instead of calculating. I was in shock. I didn't become enraged, but I demanded to know the truth. Everything. She panicked, started crying, making things up, trying to downplay it all. It was just texting, she never met him, blah blah.
For the last week she has been trickle truthing it out to me. While she deleted the messages and refuses to tell me the name of AP, she admitted that it was somebody she met who works in the same building her new job is at. Supposedly he approached her and asked for her number. She said she had been feeling lonely, so she gave it to him. He is also married, and has kids. Apparently they bonded by complaining about their mutually horrible marriages. She says they would meet for lunch, or sometimes hang out in the parking lot. She says they only kissed. I asked if they ever met for one on one time outside of that, and she became evasive and wouldn't give a straight answer. I can only assume there has been more than kissing.
This has turned my entire life upside down. I've never been a big crier, but I've been spending quite a bit of time quiet crying into the pillow. I haven't told any of my family yet, but I believe I will do so tomorrow.
As far as forgiveness goes, that might be possible one day. But I think that this marriage is over. It's so hard to believe that someone you saw as a soul mate could ever do this.
JFL I feel like Edward Norton from Fight Club every time I lurk this subreddit
holy shit its so much kekfuel
We were living together for 12 years, married for one. Would have married earlier if covid didn't delay things.
I'm retired from the military with disability from some overseas stuff, and have been going back to school while going through therapy. I will admit to having issues like night terrors, anxiety, being moody/negative sometimes. I have been doing weekly therapy to work on this stuff. I've never done anything abusive towards her, but I can understand that having a personality like that can be a drag to be around.
I've always tried to love her and give her everything she asked for. We have a house together. My family saw and treated her as a second daughter. I was close with her parents. I cooked seven days a week for her. I'd setup her foot soaker for her when she had a long day at work. Would make sure I made her tea just right in the morning.
She started a new job last spring. I thought things were going great, we were both moving in a positive direction. I was going to school, she was moving up in her career.
In hindsight I missed so many warning signs. Taking up a new hobby (violin). Starting to get more dressed up for work. Wearing perfume, when she never did before. Wearing jewelry to work, when previously this was something she only did on special occasions.
Turns my stomach a bit, looking back at the times she asked me to help her put on a necklace I got before work, knowing now she was wearing it to look nice for some other guy. I was so blind and dumb.
After I read the sexy time exchange, I confronted her immediately. Really dumb, I know, but I was being emotional instead of calculating. I was in shock. I didn't become enraged, but I demanded to know the truth. Everything. She panicked, started crying, making things up, trying to downplay it all. It was just texting, she never met him, blah blah.
For the last week she has been trickle truthing it out to me. While she deleted the messages and refuses to tell me the name of AP, she admitted that it was somebody she met who works in the same building her new job is at. Supposedly he approached her and asked for her number. She said she had been feeling lonely, so she gave it to him. He is also married, and has kids. Apparently they bonded by complaining about their mutually horrible marriages. She says they would meet for lunch, or sometimes hang out in the parking lot. She says they only kissed. I asked if they ever met for one on one time outside of that, and she became evasive and wouldn't give a straight answer. I can only assume there has been more than kissing.
This has turned my entire life upside down. I've never been a big crier, but I've been spending quite a bit of time quiet crying into the pillow. I haven't told any of my family yet, but I believe I will do so tomorrow.
As far as forgiveness goes, that might be possible one day. But I think that this marriage is over. It's so hard to believe that someone you saw as a soul mate could ever do this.
JFL I feel like Edward Norton from Fight Club every time I lurk this subreddit
holy shit its so much kekfuel
