Top 5 Things That Aren’t Real

[Orc]

• The Loch Ness Monster
  a blurry shape in a lake, seen only when someone forgets their good camera.
  
  
  
• Bigfoot
  allegedly stomping through forests, leaving mysterious footprints and inexplicably avoiding all modern technology.
  
  
  
• Heteronormative love
  a legendary emotional phenomenon where a man provides consistent emotional labor and a woman doesn't eventually resent him, said to involve mutual respect, personal growth, and... unconditional love.
  
  only documented in hallmark movies and deeply filtered instagram reels, most sightings later debunked as brand sponsorships.
  
  scholars believe it to be a form of mass delusion perpetuated by diamond companies and disney.
  
  
  
• The Tooth Fairy
  a tiny winged individual who breaks into your home to exchange teeth for money, honestly more plausible than two straight people meeting in their 20s and not immediately trauma-dumping or ghosting each other.
  
  
  
  
• The Illuminati
  secret world order, shadowy influence, no one really knows, but unlike heterosexual marriage where both partners are happy and fulfilled, at least the illuminati knows how to keep a secret.

 

[tuberculosisinmybal]

dnr

 

[Yuki]

number 6: Vaginas

 

[RXnd]

Loch Ness monster is literally just master’s giant BBC sticking out

 

[Reid]

The tooth fairy is real. My sister little put her tooth under her pillow and in the morning there was money under there

 

[Harold O'brien]

looksmax moderator iq

 

[iblameCopecels]

Jews are real

 

[albanianblackguy]

unc whats with the sad posts did some of ur plants die or?

 

[Neucher]

The Loch Ness Monster

The Illuminati

day ruined

 

[otal_duu]

Damn unc
Is the dick so fire that you have started to abhor heteronormative LTRs?

 

[jeremyy]

• The Loch Ness Monster
  a blurry shape in a lake, seen only when someone forgets their good camera.
  
  
  
• Bigfoot
  allegedly stomping through forests, leaving mysterious footprints and inexplicably avoiding all modern technology.
  
  
  
• Heteronormative love
  a legendary emotional phenomenon where a man provides consistent emotional labor and a woman doesn't eventually resent him, said to involve mutual respect, personal growth, and... unconditional love.
  
  only documented in hallmark movies and deeply filtered instagram reels, most sightings later debunked as brand sponsorships.
  
  scholars believe it to be a form of mass delusion perpetuated by diamond companies and disney.
  
  
  
• The Tooth Fairy
  a tiny winged individual who breaks into your home to exchange teeth for money, honestly more plausible than two straight people meeting in their 20s and not immediately trauma-dumping or ghosting each other.
  
  
  
  
• The Illuminati
  secret world order, shadowy influence, no one really knows, but unlike heterosexual marriage where both partners are happy and fulfilled, at least the illuminati knows how to keep a secret.

GOD.

 

[incel-at-heart]

The tooth fairy is real. My sister little put her tooth under her pillow and in the morning there was money under there

My m*ther told me she was real, but never collected teeth or gave me money.

I put them in the wooden box myself the morning after. When all of them were collected, she asked me if I wanted to keep the box. I said no, hoping she would give me something in exchange. But she just threw it away, brutal.

 

[The Homelander]